Killed My Feelings

Rebecca’s POV

​With a sharp, guttural growl that vibrated in my own chest, he buried himself inside her in one heavy, punishing thrust.

​The sound of their bodies colliding—a wet, slapping sound—echoed through the silent room. Sasha let out a high-pitched, keening wail of pleasure, her fingers clawing at the dark wood of the desk.

​"Oh, Goddess... Enzo... yes!" she screamed, her head tossing back.

​I should have looked away. I should have run. But my eyes were wide, fixed on the rhythmic, violent motion of his back. His muscles rippled under his shirt, his shoulders bunching with every powerful drive. He was relentless. He wasn't being gentle; he was fucking her with a primal, animalistic hunger that made my stomach flip.

​He pulled back until he was almost out—the slick, friction-filled sound of his exit making my face flame—before slamming back into her again. The desk groaned under their weight, sliding an inch across the floor.

​"Is he... big enough... for you, Rebecca?" Sasha gasped out between moans, her eyes hooded and glazed as she stared at me.

​Enzo’s hands moved from her hips to her hair, wrapping the locks around his fist and pulling her head back. He began to pick up the pace, his thrusts becoming faster, shallower, and more brutal. The air in the room was thick now, heavy with the scent of sex, whiskey, and the raw musk of an Alpha male in heat.

​I watched the way the veins stood out on his arms. I watched the way he gritted his teeth, his face filled with pure, concentrated lust. Every time he hit her, I felt an ache between my own legs, a throb of desire mixed with a crushing, soul-deep agony.

​"Enzo... please... more!" Sasha sobbed, her body shaking as she neared her peak.

​He didn't say a word. He just gritted his teeth, his breath coming in hot, heavy pants. He looked like an animal. He pulled out almost all the way, the sound of it making my stomach flip, before slamming back in so hard Sasha’s whole body jolted forward.

​"Watch her, Enzo," Sasha gasped, her voice breaking. "Watch the little girl cry."

​Enzo didn't look at me, but he grabbed Sasha’s hair, tensing his arm as he changed his rhythm. He slowed down, pulling her off the desk just enough to make her stand on her tiptoes. He reached down, grabbing one of her legs and hooking it over his hip.

​Now, I could see everything.

​He started moving again, his thrusts deep and slow. I could see his massive cock sliding in and out of her, slick with her juices and the spit he’d used earlier. It looked raw. It looked painful and perfect all at once. He was bottoming out inside her, his hips grinding against hers with a desperate kind of hunger.

​"Enzo... please..." Sasha whimpered, her hands clawing at his back, leaving red marks on his skin.

​He picked up the speed again, his movements becoming faster. He was pounding into her, his body shaking with the effort. Every thrust was a reminder that he didn't want me. Every moan Sasha let out was a slap to my face.

​The room started to go blurry. The heat coming off them was suffocating. I felt a weird, sharp pain between my legs—a mix of want and pure, sick horror. My head felt light, like it was filled with smoke.

​Enzo’s growls got louder, deeper. He was close. He shifted his grip, his fingers digging into her ass as he delivered several fast, brutal stabs. Sasha was screaming now, her body shaking as she came, her muscles clamping down on him.

​At the last second, Enzo let out a choked, guttural sound and pulled out. I watched, paralyzed, as he stroked himself, his seed hitting the floor between them in hot, thick pulses.

​He stayed there for a moment, chest heaving, before he slowly turned his head. His eyes, dark and blown out with lust, locked onto mine. My vision began to tunnel. I felt my legs give way. The floor rushed up to meet me, and everything went black before I could even scream.

​The room was pitch black when my eyes finally fluttered open. For a second, I forgot where I was, but then the heavy scent of my own room hit me. I was lying on my bed, tucked under the covers as if nothing had happened.

​But everything that had occurred rushed back into my head.

​I sat up slowly, my head throbbing with a dull pain. Tears stood in my eyes, hot and thick, before rolling down my cheeks. I didn't sob; I didn't have the energy left to scream. The pain was too deep for that. It was a cold, hollow ache that settled right in the center of my chest.

​He had broken me. He hadn't just rejected me as his mate and his wife; he had humiliated me in a way I could never come back from. He wanted me to see him as a monster, and he had succeeded. He wanted to prove I was a child, and he had used the most brutal lesson possible to do it.

​I looked at my hands; they were still shaking. I thought about the cliff, the way he had dived in to save me, and the way he had just destroyed me in his room. The man who saved my life was gone. Only the future Alpha remained—the man who now belonged to my sister.

​I closed my eyes, picturing the wedding that was supposed to happen tomorrow. The pack would celebrate. They would cheer for Enzo and Clara. And I was expected to stand there and smile? To be the little sister in the front row?

​A strange, numbing calm started to wash over my broken heart. The obsession, the desperate need for him to look at me, the foolish hope that he was only playing hard to get—it all died in that room.

​I clutched the sheets, my voice coming out low and final.

​"Enzo... I'm letting you go."

​I didn't say it with anger. I said it with the kind of exhaustion that comes when you finally realize the fire you've been chasing is only there to burn you.

​I crawled out of bed, my legs feeling heavy. I walked over to my nightstand and pulled open the small drawer. My fingers fumbled until they found the bottle of sleeping pills. I didn’t even count them; I just shook a few into my palm and swallowed them dry, the bitterness coating my tongue. I climbed back under the covers and closed my eyes, praying for a void deep enough to swallow tomorrow whole. I wanted to sleep through the cheers, the vows, and the moment he finally officially became hers. I wanted to wake up when it was all over.

​I don’t know how long I was out. The darkness was thick and heavy, dragging me deeper into a dreamless fog. But slowly, the world started to seep back in. I felt a hard, tapping pressure on my arm. A voice was calling my name, sharp, loud, and laced with worry.

​I forced my eyes open, the light from the window blinding me. My head felt like it was filled with cotton, and my limbs were nearly impossible to move. As my vision cleared, I saw Clara.

​She was leaning over me, her face pale and her eyes wide with a desperation I had never seen in her before. She was already in her wedding robes, but they were wrinkled, and her hands were shaking violently.

​"Becca, wake up! Please!" she begged, her voice cracking.

​I stared at her, my mind still sluggish from the pills. I didn't want to look at her. I didn't want to be the sister right now. But the panic on her face stopped the breath in my throat.

​She grabbed my shoulders, pulling me upright. "You have to help me, Becca. Please."