Tears

Mavericks POV 

 The day I turned 16 - three years ago - was the day I discovered that Jolene was the mate the moon goddess bestowed upon me.

 I was on my way to pack some important documents my father asked me to fetch when the most beautiful scent I have ever smelled drifted into my nose.

'Mate!' Killian hollered loudly in my head due to excitement when we saw Jolene.

 Jolene was beautiful like she has always been and she looked at my face with a shy smile that revealed her dimples, "Hi." She waved at me which made me stop in my track

'Mate!' Killian growled in my head as a response that made the excitement of finding my mate vanish, immediately.

 I have always longed for a strong Alpha female wolf but I never expected it to be someone like Jolene; Jolene is a weak human compared to the strong person I planned for my Luna position.

 Jolene is weak, she doesn't know how to fight, she doesn't have courage, she couldn't keep up with the pack training, and several times the pack had to protect her from the rogues' attacks, unlike mother who perfectly stayed by father's side.

 I have always hoped for someone like Mother; mother can fight during the war and she always helps father in his official position of taking care of the pack.

 I never wanted someone like Jolene so I ignored her and stopped paying attention to her instead of belittling her because I know that my parents would be angry, telling me the future alpha can't act like that. Blah Blah Blah. 

 So throughout three years, I held in the pain of being without my mate and lied to everyone that I'd never find a mate even though Killian was furious by my actions.

 I have always held the belief that everything would be like that; I would pretend that there was no existence of my mate and that I'll get married to someone strong and capable like Cynthia who was yet to find her mate also.

 Until I came across Jolene in the training center yesterday. Perhaps she realized that she was really weak and was dragging the pack so she wanted to keep up her training. I sneered in my head and choose to hide my disrespect 

"Mate," Jolene suddenly stopped in front of me and called with excitement, her green eyes twinkling. The beads of sweat that trickled down her face made me gulp unknowingly, "You're my mate." She said showing off her cute dimples.

"I know," I said, brushing her off in the most annoyed tone I could ever muster.

 I've always tried to forget that I've been bestowed with someone stupid and incapable like Jolene but she just had to remind me again which sent a trace of fury through my spine.

"Then…" she said behind me.

 I didn't realize she was trailing behind me until I heard her voice. This weak human must be interested in being my Luna so much, unfortunately, I don't need a weakling like her.

"Listen carefully… I, Maverick of SharpEdges Pack, rejected you Jolene as my mate!" I declared in a cold voice due to the loathing and disgust I felt toward her.

 I seemed to hear the sound of something breaking over, it must be my heart. Killian immediately howled loudly in my head due to pain and anger but I tried to hold it in with a feigned cold and calm expression.

 I watched how the trace of pain filled her eyes and it made me ashamed until she said, "I don't agree." Her shaky voice said which made all the pity I held for her vanish.

 What does she not agree with? That she's a weak and incapable human who can't rule and would instead drag the pack down due to her lack of strength?

 I took steps toward her due to anger and said with ruthlessness, "Do you think you're worthy of me? You're just a weak human and you're not worthy of being my future Luna. You should just go and die!" I expressed which made Killian howl loudly in my head. I hissed and was about to scold it when I realized that he had blocked me.

 By now it felt as if all the power in me had disappeared, I kept feeling a striking pain that made me unable to breathe and with the sight of her pained expression, I immediately ran away.

 I kept trying to forget the whole episode with Jolene but I couldn't. She was worth nothing to me but I don't know why I kept thinking about the rejection over and over again.

 I was on my way to Collin's, Jolene's brother's place - yeah, I and Collin have been childhood friends - so I could get over the pain and depressive feeling when a guard came toward me and bowed. "Your highness."

"Speak."

"Alpha asked to see your highness in the office." The guard said, which made me stride toward my father's office, immediately.

 Father was sitting behind the table and he had an eyeglass on his face which wasn't necessary since he could see very well. He removed the eyeglasses and placed them on the table neatly when he saw me enter.

"Alpha," I bowed to dad in respect and he motioned me to sit. "What did you call me here for?" I asked him.

"You've come of age," Father suddenly began, which made me clench my fist in excitement. I hope it's what I'm thinking, what I've been hoping for.

"So I have talked with the council to make you take over the pack during the weekend."

 My heart almost flew away due to happiness. Finally! Father finally bestowed all I'd been hoping for, but I never expected it to be this quick. "That's, two days from now," I replied with a quickened breath which was caused by excitement 

"Yes, I know. Since we have tested you and you showed that you're capable enough to lead this pack, we all decided on this option. Congratulations, son." Father said and squeezed my shoulder before he left me in a happy dazed state. I didn't even know when the thoughts of Jolene disappeared without a trace

"Hey Alpha. Congratulations on your upcoming post," Collin teased with a happy voice. Collin's father is my Father's close beta; Collin will also be my beta. 

 Collin raised his glass and I clinked my glass with his. "Thank you."

"It's such a pity that our capable future Alpha hasn't seen his mate yet. Perhaps you can arrange for the big mating festival from across different packs." Liam said but before he could finish his words, Jasher smacked his head and said, "You playboy, just say that you want to flirt with beautiful werewolves…"

 Liam eyed Jasher with unhappiness, "Stop looking at me as if I'm a flirt all the time, I'm just thinking on behalf of our Alpha. Hey Alpha what do you think?" 

 He turned to me which almost made me jolt, their discussions about the Luna kept making my hair stand on end.

 My mind can't help but drift toward Jolene; thinking about it now, she's my mate. It wasn't her fault that she was chosen, have I been too harsh with her? Why did I even tell her to die? My stomach churns due to nervousness and fear. Father and mother mustn't hear the words I said to Jolene or they'd scold me for it and if it comes to worst, father may refuse me hand over the alpha's position, and ask me to reflect on my behavior.

 Liam turned to me again, "What do you th…"

 Before Jasher could finish his words, Mrs. Lilian, Jolene's mother, suddenly rushed toward us with a frown.

"Mom, is anything wrong? Do you need anything?" Collin immediately stood up and asked his mom concernedly.

 Mrs. Lilian was jittery and her nervousness was revealed on her face as she explained, "It's almost the full moon celebration but I can't find Jolene. Your father and I have been looking for her all day, but we can't find her in the pack…"

"What do you mean you can't find Jolene in the pack?" My expression changed and my heart began to pound in fear because I knew that if anything happened to Jolene, it was all my fault. 

 Collins looked dumbfounded as well because he was still shocked by his mother's words.

"Let us help…" Liam quickly spoke out. 

"Really? Thank you." Mrs. Lilian said in happiness.

"Let me try to trace her scent." I suddenly said, but no one looked at me in surprise at how I could trace her scent because I'm an Alpha endowed with a sharp nose.

 Trying hard to control my calm, I began to look for her scent amidst the scent of others but I finally caught a faint trace of her beautiful scent which led to the forest. "To the forest please," I said and everyone immediately followed my directions until I stopped at the cliff. My heart skipped a beat in shock but I tried to force the feeling down. Jolene had…

"Jolene!" Everyone began to call. "Jolene baby." But I couldn't bring myself to call. I was feeling guilty because I knew that whatever happened to her was caused by me.

 A man's voice suddenly spoke up, "I… I found her shoes at the shore. It seemed to be washed from that direction. I think…"

"No!!!" Mrs. Lilian yelled as if understanding that Jolene had committed suicide.

 Inwardly, we all knew Jolene had jumped down the cliff and probably died already because underneath the cliff is filled with water and rocks so the possibility that Jolene is dead is 99.9% but we still try hard to find her, and no one says anything.

 I decided to call my wolf, he'd know better, "Killian…"

(...)

"Killian, please." I pleaded.

"Exactly. I couldn't feel her, I think our mate is dead." Killian replied with anger and sadness which made me freeze.

 I caused it! I just killed my mate. I held my palm out and it felt as if I could read the murderer's words on my palm. My chest stung in pain! Why did I do it? Even if she's weak, I could have just rejected her. Why did I ask her to die? Why?!

"Mom, Please" Collin and Mr. Conan, Jolene's father kept begging Mrs. Lillian as she wept bitterly.

 I felt a trace of tears trickling down my right eye but I quickly wiped it away.

 Would they ever respect me if they knew their future Alpha caused the death of their beloved daughter because of his heartlessness? Would they? But thinking about it I never asked her to jump, I only said it in a fit of anger, how can she be stupid to do so? Why?