16 --  Instincts and Chains

Damon’s POV

Sleep refused to come.

I'd been lying there staring up at my ceiling for hours as the night dragged on outside my window. The fire had long since died down, and there was only the soft crackle of dying embers and the low rumble of the storm outside the walls.

But it was not the storm that kept me awake.

It was her.

Aria's voice. Her trembling hands. The secret she'd harboured for all those years about her brother -- a secret bound in pain and loyalty. It clawed at me, made me question all I thought I did about trust, about judgment, about her.

She hadn't lied out of malice. She had done it out of love.

And yet, that did not quiet the part of me that was infuriated at being kept in the dark. I was Alpha, I was deception; no matter how pure the intent, it could not be overlooked. But gods, every time I remembered how she looked at me with her soft eyes, broken, my chest tightened until I could never breathe.

My wolf raged around in my head, a rumble of grunts going through me like thunder.

You're hurting her, he snarled. You made her cry. Go to her.

"She needs space," I said out loud, but not with any conviction.

You need her, my wolf argued, nastier than before. You feel it. You smell it. She is ours.

I made my fists clench in me, pushing the bond back like a tide I couldn't afford to drown in. "Not now. Not when things are crumbling and are falling apart”.

The door kicked open before I could come up with another thought.

It was Rowan, my Beta -- tall, sharp-eyed and loyal to a fault. He studied me long, his nostrils flaring, as if he could sense the storm that was brewing beneath my skin.

He said simply: "You have not slept."

"I don't need to," I said, pulling on my training shirt.

Rowan crossed his arms. You do when your wolf begins to run like a caged animal. The guards can hear him growling in your head from half a field away.

I shot him a glare. "You are here to give me a lecture on sleep?"

He didn't flinch. "No. I came to warn you."

That got my attention. "About what?"

"The council" he said, his tone grave. "They're starting to talk. About your behaviour. About her."

I froze. "Aria?"

He nodded. "They've seen the way you look after her. The way you look at her. People are saying she's blurring your mind.”

The muscles of my jaw tensed. "I protect my pack. She's part of it."

Rowan didn't buy it. "She's not just part of it, Damon. And you know that."

And I walked away, walking towards the window. The rain was mostly falling harder now, drawn in crooked lines down the glass. "What are you suggesting?"

"I'm telling you to your face what is already obvious," he said softly. "You're bonded to her. The Moon Goddess didn't allow you to have a choice, and the more you fight it, the more it's ripping you apart.”

A growl tore through me before I could stop it. "Don't."

Rowan held up his hands. "I'm not judging you. I'm telling you that an Alpha who loses control over his instincts becomes a danger to himself, and to his pack.”

To refuse to accept it, to shove his words away. But there was somewhere inside me, I knew he was right. The chain constricted me further with each passing day, and the more I struggled, the more my wolf raged.

"I'll deal with it," I said between gritted teeth. "Now leave it."

Rowan didn't move. "If you continue to pretend that this is not real, it is going to break you, Damon.”

"Enough!" I barked.

The air reigned with supremacy. Rowan dropped his head, lips turned into a tight line. “Then at least let it out of your system. Go train. Before your wolf takes a course of action that you'll regret.”

He walked out before I had a chance to reply, and the silence that he left in his wake was deafening.

I threw myself in the training field before dawn when most wolves were still asleep. The cold air stung against my skin, holding me in a way no other thing could. I attacked the practice dummies with what I had -- claws, fists, fury. Each strike was a distraction from her scent, from the sound of her voice.

But no matter how hard I hit, she was still there -- in my head, in my chest, under my skin.

Again, I wheezed and inhaled laboured air.

The fighter opposite me was a tall hunk named Rhys, who looked reluctant. "Alpha, you have been at it for hours. Maybe--"

"Again."

He lunged, but I was halfway there to meet him. My wolf was already clawing for release, and for once, I didn't fight it. Through me came surging power, blind and raw, I heard tearing cloth, smashing bone and then the sharp cry as Rhys landed, blood splashing across the ground.

"Alpha!" someone shouted.

I started blinking, once, twice, and my claws had gotten out: crimson, at the tips. Rhys groaned under me, holding his shoulder.

I stumbled back, and my breath heaved, and the horror settled in.

And Rowan came out of nowhere and had his arm around me before I could bolt. "Enough!" he snapped. "You nearly killed him, Damon!"

"I didn't--" My voice broke. I had no excuse.

Rowan's eyes softened, but Rowan was hard with his words. "This isn't just about aria anymore." You're getting out of control because you're denying what's supposed to be. The bond is eating you alive."

I turned away, fists shaking, "I can't afford to give in to it. If I do, I'll lose focus -- the council will--"

"The council be damned," Rowan grunted. "She's your mate, Damon. That's not a weakness. That's the truth."

I said nothing. Because if I spoke the truth in his words would crush me.

By the time I returned to the packhouse, the sun was sinking low - painting everything in gold and blood. My hands still shook, and my wolf prowled inside me, demanding her scent, her presence.

I headed for my office, desperate for solitude. But when I opened the door, I stopped dead in my tracks.

Aria was there.

She stood near my desk, her eyes red from crying, as her fingers twisted the edge of her sleeve. The barely detectable scent of tears and lavender filled the air, and something inside me snapped.

She looked up, startled by the sound of the door. "Damon," she said, her voice cracking. "I-- I didn't mean to intrude. I just--"

Her words stumbled when our eyes were locked together. The air between us grew thick, breathing with something primal, electric.

I took a step forward. "Aria."

She took a breath, trembling. "I thought you hated me."

My chest tightened. "I never--"

"Then why won't you look at me? Why do you walk away from me every time I try to talk to you? There was a cracking of her voice, soft but sharp. "I told you the truth, Damon. I've told you everything."

I tried to speak, but my wolf rode out, desperate, unstoppable. The bond pulsing -- wild, burning, alive.

“Because if you look at me,” I thought eventually, quietly and hoarsely, “I won't be able to stop.”

Her breath hitched. "Stop what?"

I didn't answer.

The silence was dense, as thick as the storm outside. Then she whispered, "Damon..." -- and that was all it took.

The bond broke through my chest with the force of lightning, and my veins filled with heat. My wolf roared, not in anger this time, but in recognition, in surrender. Every instinct screamed to claim, to protect, to never let her go.

I took one more step, close enough to see the shimmer of tears on her lashes.

And when her hand brushed mine, the world fell away.

The chains I’d forged around my heart shattered.

And for the first time in years, I stopped fighting.