Chapter One- Merry fucking Christmas

Ava's POV

The carnations were dying, cheap pink ones that Mrs. Henderson specially ordered because she didn't want to spend money on roses. I kept spraying them with water, but they still looked sad and wilted, like they knew they were the discount option.

My phone buzzed on the table.

Don't rush home tonight, working late on the Henderson project. Love you.

I read Daniel's text three times. Love you. Sure, the same "love you" he'd been texting me for three months while canceling every plan we made, while forgetting my birthday and even while looking at his phone during dinner.

"Ava, you okay?" Jamie poked her head around the corner. "You're drowning those flowers."

"They're fine." I shoved another carnation into the foam base. "Everything's fine."

"Right." She grabbed her coat. "You coming to the festival?"

“Nah, I'm just going to go home and drink in the bathtub." I said, using my hands to make a drinking gesture.

"Now that's the holiday spirit I like to see."

But I didn't go home, at least not right away. I stopped at the grocery store and bought chicken, potatoes, and a bottle of wine that cost more than my electric bill. Because apparently I was an idiot who still thought a nice dinner could fix a dying relationship.

The apartment door was unlocked, that was the first weird thing. Daniel said he was working late tonight, there was no way he left to work without locking the door. I stood there with my grocery bags, staring at the handle for any sign of a jail break.

I opened the door carefully, taking a peak inside and I saw his jacket hung on the chair, and his keys sat in the bowl by the door, his laptop was left open on the counter.

He was home.

"Babe?"

No answer.

I set the bags down and walked toward the bedroom. The door was open just a little and I could see the lamp on, casting soft shadows across the wall.

I gripped the handle to push the door open and then I heard it.A moan, soft and breathy and definitely not from Daniel.My hand froze on the doorframe. My brain tried to make excuses, he was watching something on his phone, he was on a call, anything but what I knew it was.

Another sound, a gasp. Then Daniel's voice, low and rough in a way I hadn't heard in months.

"God, you feel so good."

My hand pushed the door open before I could stop it.They were on my bed, in my sheets, Mara's red hair spilling across my pillow. Her legs wrapped around Daniel's waist. His hands gripping her hips like he couldn't get enough, they were so caught up in each other they didn't even notice me standing there.

Mara threw her head back. "Daniel….oh God….."

"Shh." He kissed her neck. "You're so much better than….."

He stopped, he must've felt me staring or maybe he felt the blood thirst coming from me in that moment.

His head turned and our eyes met.

For three full seconds, nobody moved, nobody said a word. We just stared at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move.

"Ava….." Daniel scrambled backward, yanking the sheet up. "Jesus, I didn't….we thought you were working late…."

"Oh, I'm sorry." My voice came out flat and dead. "Should I have texted first? Made sure you had time to finish?"

Mara pulled the blanket up to her chin, her face bright red. "Ava, please, this isn't……"

"Isn't what?" I stepped into the room. "Isn't you screwing my fiancé in my bed? Because that's exactly what it looks like."

"You don't understand." Daniel had the nerve to look annoyed, like I was interrupting something important. "This just happened……"

"Just happened." I nodded slowly. "Righttttt, your dick just accidentally fell into my best friend…could happen to anyone."

"Don't be crude….."

"Crude? You want to talk about crude?" My laugh came out sharp and mean. "How long?"

They looked at me like I was talking to myself."HOW FUCKING LONG? GODDAMMIT."Mara's voice was tiny.

"Three months."

Oh fuck me. Three months while I was planning our wedding, making excuses for him to my family and lying awake at night wondering why he didn't touch me anymore.

"Three months," I repeated. "Wow, such commitment, it's almost impressive."

"We were going to tell you," Daniel said. "After the holidays……"

"After the holidays." I repeated and couldn't stop laughing. It felt good, in a horrible way. "Oh, that's sweet, very considerate, wouldn't want to ruin Christmas, right?"

"Ava, please…." Mara reached for me.

"Don't." I stepped back. "Don't you dare touch me."

"We didn't mean to hurt you…."

"You didn't mean to?" My voice rose. "You've been fucking my fiancé for three months and you didn't mean to hurt me? What exactly did you think would happen?"

"You're not being fair," Daniel said, actually said that. "We have feelings for each other….."

"Feelings." The word sounded absurd, to be used in such a disgusting context.

"Right. And I guess my feelings just don't count?"

"That's not what I meant……"

"Yes it is." I yanked the ring off my finger. The diamond caught the light, two carats of broken promises. I threw it at his face as hard as I could, it bounced off his forehead and disappeared into the tangled sheets.

"Keep it, sell it or shove it up your lying ass. I don't care."

"Ava, wait….."

"Wait for what? For you to explain how this is somehow my fault? How I wasn't good enough? How she's so much better than me?"

I looked at Mara, her eyes were full of fake tears. Good. "You know what? You two deserve each other. Merry fucking Christmas."

I turned and walked out. Behind me, I heard Daniel say my name again, heard Mara start to cry, heard them scrambling out of bed.

I didn't look back, I grabbed my coat from the hook by the door and left, slamming it so hard the walls shook.

Downtown was packed with people. Families with kids running everywhere, couples holding hands under the street lights. Someone dressed as Santa stumbling around drunk, yelling "Ho ho ho" at tourists.

Everyone looked so damn happy, except me of course.

My phone kept buzzing. Daniel. Mara. Daniel again. I turned it off and shoved it deep in my pocket.

"Hot chocolate! Get your hot chocolate here!"

"No thanks," I muttered. "I'm great, having the best fucking night ever."

I walked until my feet hurt, until the crowds thinned out and the buildings got fancier. This was the expensive part of town, hotels with doormen, restaurants with tiny portions and huge prices. The Devereaux stood on the corner, all shiny glass and marble, the kind of place I only saw when I delivered flowers for events.

I went inside anyway.

The lobby was ridiculous, a big fireplace, huge chandelier. Soft music playing like rich people needed a soundtrack just to breathe.

A man in a suit walked over. His smile was polite but hypocritic given that his eyes screamed I didn't belong here. "Can I help you, miss?"

"Just looking for the bathroom.""Of course, it's down the hall….."

Someone crashed into me, hard enough that I stumbled sideways, would've fallen if a hand hadn't caught my arm. The grip was warm, steady, and when I looked up I forgot what I was going to say.

He was gorgeous, stupidly gorgeous. Tall, dark hair, sharp jaw, wearing a suit that probably cost more than everything I owned. But his eyes looked empty, like he was having a night just like mine. He also smelled like whiskey.

"Sorry," he said. His voice was low and rough."Maybe watch where you're walking,"

I shot back.His mouth curved into a broken smile.

"Bad night?"

"The worst, came home early, found my fiancé in bed with my best friend, threw a ring at his head, and now I'm hiding in a fancy hotel. You know, normal Christmas stuff."

I don't know why I told him, maybe because he was a stranger and I probably wouldn't see him ever again or maybe because nothing mattered anymore, I really couldn’t tell, I was just out of my mind.

He stared at me for a long second. His eyes dropped to my hand, to the pale mark where the ring used to be.

"Mine's worse," he said.

"What?"

"My night, it's worse than yours, if that makes you feel any better."

What could possibly be worse than catching your fiancé in bed with your best friend?

I didn't bother to ask, I wasn't just about to trauma bond with a stranger.

We stood there in that stupid fancy lobby, connected by our broken nights. Two strangers with only one thing in common. Unexplainable sadness.

"Come upstairs," he said.

Not a question, just a statement.

I should've said no, i should've left. I could have gone literally anywhere else.

Instead I said, "What floor?"

His smile was sharp. "Top."

"Sure."

The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside, holding out his hand for me.I took it.

I thought that fiancé cheating on me with my bestfriend was my worst nightmare…until I took his hand and entered the elevator