Chapter 8

Raven POV

“Oh fuck it.” I don’t know why I voiced that thought out loud just before I slammed my lips against Jacob’s. I still don’t know what possessed me to do it. One second I was getting ready to walk away because I suddenly got the idea that maybe he was just being nice so he could convince me to have sex with him. He wouldn’t be the first guy over the years that looked at me and thought that I would be an easy mark. You know the chunky best friend who comes from the trashy family. She will always put out to whoever pays attention to her because she gets ignored so much. She’ll be grateful to any guy who even talks to her. Believe me, those guys are easier to spot than you might think. They always seem overly sweet and caring, but as soon as you show no interest in anything sexual with them the first time you meet them, their whole demeanour changes.

I had one guy get really pissed when I told him that I wasn’t going to give him the blowjob he asked for five minutes after I met him. He looked over to where Sara was dancing with Kevin. It was the night she met him, then grabbed my arm and tried to drag me off into the woods. He was going on about how my slutty friend was going to be busy for awhile so I had nothing better to do. I’m just grateful that Trish and Duke had seen what was happening and came to help. The guy was a lot stronger than most guys I’ve dealt with. It turned out the guy was from their private school and was pissed that Sara had turned him down to dance with Kevin.

There had been a few other guys like that over the last year or so, but never to that extreme and never any of the guys that knew Trish, Duke and Kevin. It was guys from our high school that would have sex with almost anyone just to add them to the count.

Jacob had likely sat and watched as guy after guy came up to Sara, and only a few that were obviously only there because their buddies asked them to come had talked to me. The only reason I hadn’t worried about it at first was that Trish had introduced him to me, but now that I had some time to think, I thought it might be a good idea to make sure that he understood that nothing like that was going to happen. But the second I felt his arms wrap around my waist in a move that was so fast that I had barely had time to register that I was about to fall off the dock, something changed. Every nerve ending in my body lit up like a Christmas tree. The tingling that I had felt earlier intensified, threatening to short-circuit my brain cells. Maybe it did because the only thought that I had when we landed in the boat was ‘oh fuck it’. I no longer cared if he was just using me for a roll in the hay, a bang in a boat? See fried brain cells. I wanted to experience this. Everything in my body was screaming at me to just let things go where they were going to go.

As my lips connected with his, I felt his strong arms tighten around me. A level of want that I had never even thought possible took over. I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew what I wanted. And what I wanted was to feel Jacob’s hands on me, everywhere. I wanted to run my hands up and down the hard sculpted chest and abs I could feel pressed against me as I lay on top of him. The thought of running my tongue all over his heated skin flashed in my head.

Jacob let out a small growly purr-like noise. That sound sent more tingles through my body that ignited little flames of desire between my legs. The feelings were so new I didn’t know how to process them. I was in complete overload. I wanted to just let go of my doubts and give in to the feelings that this solid, handsome man was stirring in me, but I was scared of it too. What if I got pregnant? Then all my work to get that scholarship would be for nothing. I could feel Jacob thread his fingers into my hair at the back of my head and start to pull me down to deepen the kiss. That is when I knew I had to put a stop to this. Using more willpower than I thought I had, I started to pull away before things could get any more out of hand. I pushed back against his hand and pulled away from him. He didn’t try to stop me, but he kept his hands on me to keep me balanced as I scrambled off of him as fast as I could without rocking the boat. I sat for a few seconds on the front of the boat catching my breath. When I stood, Jacob didn’t say anything. He just held the boat still while I climbed back onto the dock. Once we were both back on the dock, I kept my head down, looking at my shoes.

“You probably think I’m a tease, and I’m sorry that I did that, but also not sorry.” I started to stammer out, trying to explain myself without sounding like a complete idiot and hoping that he wouldn’t get mad.

I felt Jacob’s large, strong, warm hands cup the sides of my face and his thumbs gently push on my chin to tilt my head up. I once again found myself staring into those beautiful hazel eyes. “Don’t ever say you’re sorry to me for stopping things that were making you feel uncomfortable. The last thing that I ever want to do is make you feel like you have to do something.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “But if you’re OK with it, I would like to just stand here and hold you while I get certain parts of my body back under control.” I looked at him, confused by what he was saying, then I felt his hardened length pressing against my stomach. My eyes widened in surprise.

“It was a pretty amazing kiss.” Jacob chuckled. That sound warmed me almost as much as being held by him did.