8. The Excuse I made For her

Elowen’s POV

I woke before sunrise. For a few seconds, I didn’t remember where I was. Then the familiar ceiling came into focus.

Veyra Estate. Home. The word still felt strange.

I got dressed and went downstairs before most of the household was awake. Mother couldn’t have anything too heavy in the morning. 

She preferred warm food, and anything too oily made her nauseous. I remembered because I had spent years making sure she ate properly.

I found the cook already preparing breakfast.

“Could I use the kitchen?”

She looked surprised.

“Of course.”

I prepared Mother’s usual breakfast myself. Nothing complicated. A small bowl of porridge, sliced fruit, and warm herbal tea. I placed everything on a tray and carried it upstairs. I had almost reached Mother’s room when a servant hurried toward me.

“Miss, you don’t need to take that.”

I stopped.

“Why?”

“Lady Seraphine already prepared breakfast.”

I looked down at the tray.

“Oh.”

The servant smiled apologetically, “She said she would take it up herself.”

I nodded.

“All right.”

I turned around. I should have taken the tray back to the kitchen. Instead, I stood there for another second before walking toward Mother’s room.

The door was slightly open. I heard Seraphine’s voice inside.

“Just a little more, Mother.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“You said that three bites ago.”

Mother laughed softly.

“You’ve become very bossy.”

“Only because you refuse to listen.”

I stopped at the doorway. Seraphine was sitting beside Mother’s bed, holding a spoon. The breakfast tray sat on the table. Exactly what I had prepared. Except hers looked neater. Mother opened her mouth for another spoonful.

Seraphine smiled, “There. See? That wasn’t difficult.”

Mother shook her head.

“You’re enjoying this.”

“A little.”

They both laughed. I stood quietly outside. No one had asked me to come. No one had asked me to leave. I looked at the tray in my hands. The food I had prepared suddenly felt unnecessary.

Seraphine glanced toward the door. Her eyes widened slightly.

“Elowen.”

Mother turned.

“Oh, darling.”

I forced a small smile.

“Good morning.”

Seraphine immediately stood.

“You made breakfast too?”

I nodded.

“I didn’t know you were already doing it.”

She glanced at the tray.

“You still remember everything she likes.”

“I do.”

Seraphine’s expression softened.

“I know you used to handle all of this.”

There was something careful about the way she said it.

“I hope you don’t think I’m trying to take your place.”

I looked at her. She stepped closer.

“You can give me the tray. I’ll put it away.”

“No.”

Her eyebrows lifted.

“I mean…you can keep it.”

She smiled.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Mother watched us quietly.

Seraphine touched her arm.

“Elowen used to take care of everything for you, didn’t she?”

Mother smiled.

“She did.”

Seraphine looked at me.

“I’m sorry if I’ve stepped on your toes.”

She sounded sincere.’That was the problem. If I told her to stop, I would sound bitter. If I complained, it would look like I was angry that Mother had another daughter.

If I accepted her apology, she would look guilty.

I didn’t want any of it.

“You should continue,” I said.

Seraphine blinked.

“What?”

“Taking care of her.”

She glanced at Mother. Then back at me.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Mother’s eyes followed me.

“Elowen…”

“I have other things to do.”

I turned before she could say anything else. I carried my untouched tray downstairs. I didn’t hear anyone call after me. By breakfast, the entire house seemed to know how useful Seraphine had become.

“She remembers everything.”

“She’s so attentive.”

“She barely lets Lady Isolde lift a finger.”

I heard it as I passed through the hallway. Then Caelan walked into the dining room. Seraphine was already there with Mother. He smiled when he saw her.

“You’ve been up since dawn?”

Seraphine nodded.

“Mother needed breakfast.”

Caelan looked at Isolde.

“You should be resting.”

“I was,” Mother said. “Your sister wouldn’t let me.”

Seraphine laughed. Caelan smiled.

“You’re taking good care of her.”

“I’m trying.”

“You’re doing more than trying.”

I stopped near the doorway.

He hadn’t seen me.

I could have walked away. Instead, I stayed for a second. Caelan reached over and squeezed Seraphine’s shoulder.

“Thank you.”

She smiled.

I turned away.

There was nothing wrong with what I had just seen. That was what I told myself. Mother had lost fifteen years with her biological daughter. Of course she wanted to make up for them. Seraphine had missed birthdays, illnesses, ordinary mornings.

She had missed everything. Maybe Mother was simply trying to give her the years they had lost. That didn’t mean she loved me less. I repeated that until it sounded almost believable. Later that afternoon, I went upstairs to check on Mother.

I stopped outside her door. Footsteps sounded behind me. I moved aside immediately. A servant passed. Then another. I waited until the corridor was quiet before reaching for the door.

I didn’t know when I had started doing that.

Listening first and waiting. 

Making sure nobody would suddenly appear behind me.nInside, Mother was asleep. I checked her medicine. Everything was in order. I didn’t wake her. I simply adjusted the curtains and left.

I was halfway down the corridor that evening when I heard voices from Mother’s room.

I stopped. It was Caelan and Mother. I hadn’t meant to listen. Then I heard my name.

“Elowen seems calmer now,” Mother said.

I stood still. Caelan was quiet for a moment. Then Mother continued.

“She doesn’t argue anymore.”

My fingers curled around the edge of my sleeve.

“I think she’s tired,” Mother said.

“Maybe,” Caelan replied.

There was another pause. Then he said,

“Maybe that’s because Elowen isn’t.”

I stopped breathing. Mother didn’t respond immediately. Neither did I. I stood outside the closed door, staring at the floor.

I had spent days saying less because I was tired of fighting. I had thought my silence would keep things peaceful. I had thought withdrawing would stop people from seeing me as a problem.

But apparently, even my silence could be used against me.

I turned away from the door. I wondered how many things they had already decided about me simply because I had stopped explaining myself.