Chapter 80: Sutton

It felt like the earth had been pulled out from under me. If I hadn’t already been sitting, I was sure I would have collapsed. My mind reeled as I questioned what I’d just heard. Nova inched into my consciousness.

“That’s not possible,” I insisted. “I saw him… He had to be… You told me he had to be dead.”

“I know,” Lucas rushed. “And I believed that. But he somehow survived.”

I pulled my hand from his grasp, rushing off the lounge. I needed some space. I needed my head to stop spinning. I needed this to not be happening. My hand covered my stomach as it churned, making me feel sick. Lucas sat there, watching me.

‘Sutton…’ Nova spoke gently. I pushed her back. I don’t know why but I didn’t want her to witness this.

“How are you so calm about this?” I demanded. “He’s coming for me. He’ll kill me.”

“He’s not going to fucking touch you,” Lucas growled, shooting to his feet. “I can assure you, I am not as calm as you think. I want to rip his damn throat out. I said if I ever had the chance I would. But keeping you safe is all that matters.”

My brow furrowed. A weight fell in my gut.

“When…?” I choked out. “When did you say that?” His jaw clenched. He didn’t respond. “Lucas… how long have you known?”

“You didn’t need that nightmare hanging over your head…”

“How long?” I yelled.

“Two weeks,” he ground out.

I nearly gagged. My head racing as I tried to piece things together. I felt like everything was falling apart. Nova tried to reach me again but I ignored her.

“That’s what you were doing when you left?” I stated. “You were gone for days.”

“I met with Soloman,” he explained. “He’s been helping us look into your mother. Your stepfather told…”

“My father?” I bellowed. “You spoke to my father? What did you tell him?”

“I didn’t tell him anything about that night,” Lucas said. “He doesn’t…”

“Why did you keep this from me?” I demanded. Realization hit me. “You knew… you knew he was still alive when you announced our relationship. When you broadcast my name over the whole pack. You led him right to me.”

My entire body was shaking. It was getting hard to breathe. I couldn’t sit still but it felt like wasn’t in control of my movements either. My heart raced so face I thought it would beat out of my chest. I felt hot. Really hot. A black haze started to form at the edges of my vision. My knees felt wobbly.

“Sutton…” Lucas reached out, keeping me from hitting the floor. His hands went to my face. “We’ll leave. I’ll get you out of here. I’ll take you home. You don’t have to face him. Either of them.”

“Because I can’t, right?” I spat. “Because I’m not strong enough. Because I’m too weak.”

He began to speak but I pushed him away. I didn’t want to hear his excuses. I wanted to listen to his stupid platitudes. I just needed to get away. I stumbled to the nearest door. It led into the bathroom. Slamming it shut behind me, I fell against it, slipping to the floor as I tried to take a breath.

‘Sutton…’ Nova eased. ‘Breath, Sutton.’

‘I… I can’t,’ I managed as tears started to fall. The door at my back vibrated from Lucas pounding to be let in. ‘He… he’ll kill me. He’s coming.’

‘He won’t,’ Nova stated. ‘Lucas won’t let him. Rhonen won’t let him. No one here will let that happen.’

‘I can’t, Nova, I can’t face him,’ I sobbed.

‘Yes, you can,’ Nova said. ‘You need to. He must see how strong you are. How strong we are. Now, breathe.’

I inhaled as deeply as I could. Closing my eyes, I released it. The cold tiles began to cool my burning skin. Lucas had gone quiet on the other side of the door but I could still sense him there.

Another deep breath.

My heart started to slow and the shaking slowly subsided. My thoughts started to organize. I was working through the situation. I was still scared. Nova may have been right but I still didn’t believe I was ready for that right now. I wanted more time. But I also knew we couldn’t leave. Despite what Lucas insisted. I wasn’t safe anywhere, especially not on the road on our own.

“Baby…” Lucas’ muffled voice came through the wood. “Sutton, I wasn’t keeping this from you because you’re weak. I kept it from you because you were happy. I wasn’t going to take that from you. Not until it was necessary. I thought we had more time.”

I dropped my head back against the door.

‘He was protecting us, Sutton,’ Nova told me. ‘You know that’s all he wanted to do.’

‘I know,’ I replied.

And I did, but I was still fighting off the feeling of betrayal. Along with all the insecurities and fears I had been doing so well burying.

‘He was taking care of you, Sutton,’ Nova argued. ‘He wasn’t betraying you. Face this, Sutton. Stop trying to bury it.’

I sighed heavily. She was right. But I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to show him that I was strong when I didn’t feel it.

Nova was strong… Lucas was strong… If there was any real strength in me, it was because of them. Because of him.

I turned, pressing a hand to the door that separated us. I knew Lucas was still there. He wouldn’t leave me. He was my mate. My real mate. If anyone could get me through this, it was him.

And I knew exactly how he could do that.

Pushing to my feet, I tore the door open. There he was. His eyes met mine with a deep longing. I closed the distance, pulling him in as my lips found his. His fingers tangled in my hair as the kiss intensified. As much as I wanted to give in to where this would go, I couldn’t yet. I broke away, speaking through the heavy breathing.

“I can do this,” I told him. “As long as you’re with me, I’m ready.”