First Kiss, Lingering Doubts

“Have some milk. You need nutrition,” Alpha Jacob said.

He slid the glass full of milk toward me. My fingers itched to reach it, but I stopped.

I looked at the glass, then at my plate with a chicken salami sandwich and a sunny-side-up egg—my favorite breakfast I hadn’t had in ages. My stomach tightened with excitement, and I couldn’t wait to dig in, starting with my favorite.

“No, I really enjoy this,” I said, pointing to my plate. “It’s just that…”

I bit my lip, stopping myself from saying too much. I didn’t want to bother Alpha Jacob with my past. A memory crept in—when I was fifteen, I had once eaten this dish meant for Asher and got punished by his mother. My lips trembled remembering that.

“Just what?” He raised his eyebrows and smiled gently, making it easier to speak.

“It’s just that I never got to eat it fresh back in Blue Moon.”

I couldn't help but pout slightly.

My stomach ached for more chances to enjoy this dish fresh and hot every day.

The aroma made me pause for a moment, savoring the smell before taking a bite.

“No worries, you can try anything here. Actually, why don’t you try mine?” Alpha Jacob said, nudging his plate toward me. Surprise froze me in place. Could he really be offering me his food?

My throat tightened and I almost choked, my hands shaking slightly as I tried to swallow. Did he really care about me that much?

As I coughed, Jacob quickly came to my side. “You’re a bit clumsy, Natalie,” he said with a small smile, gently wiping my lips. My heart skipped, and I couldn’t stop staring at his green eyes, filled with care and attention.

Caught in my intense stare, Jacob held my gaze. I knew I should have looked away, but I didn’t.

I continued staring at him, not wanting the moment to end.

The air between us felt heavier with each second. His eyes slowly lowered and stopped on my lips, making my heart race so fast it almost hurt. The feeling was new to me—scary, but exciting at the same time.

I waited, my heartbeat picking up, unable to look away. Before I even understood what I was doing, my eyes slowly closed, quietly showing I wasn’t pulling back. He moved closer, answering a want I couldn’t say out loud.

“No, Natalie, this isn’t right,” my inner voice shouted, trying to warn me. It reminded me that this moment might not last, that one day he might reject me once he knew everything about me.

I had to stop myself from wanting something that might break me later.

Trying to listen to myself, I tried to push him away. But he caught my hand firmly, stopping me.

Slowly, my strength faded under his hold.

My body softened, and before I realized it, my arms moved on their own and wrapped around his neck, giving in to the moment completely.

This was my first kiss, and the tickling feeling was new to me. My knees felt like jelly. Back when I was Asher’s mate, he never looked at me, never held my hand, and a kiss was something I had stopped hoping for.

Having a boyfriend outside the pack was also impossible.

So when Jacob’s cold lips touched mine, a strange excitement rushed through me.

My stomach felt like it was full of butterflies, and I didn’t know how to handle the feeling. I was completely lost in the moment until he suddenly pulled away.

I almost frowned, disappointed that it ended so quickly, but then he asked in a teasing tone, “Do you like it?”

His eyes were playful and focused on me, and the intensity made my cheeks heat up. I lowered my gaze right away, trying to hide how flustered I was.

I didn’t know if he could tell what I felt, but he didn’t wait for my reply. He leaned in and kissed me again, this time deeper, and something inside me reacted before I could think. I wanted to kiss him back just as strongly.

Then, without warning, he lifted me into his arms. My legs wrapped around his waist on their own, and the closeness made my heart race. But what he did next left me stunned.

He carried me to the bed, still kissing me, and before I could say anything, he gently laid me down and positioned himself above me.

"Jacob, it's still daytime…" I tried to use the time of day as an excuse to slow things down, but he kissed me before I could finish.

My mind kept telling me to stop, yet my heart reacted to every touch he gave me. When his hand moved under the back of my blouse, the coldness of his fingers made me shiver, and he used the moment to deepen the kiss. His other hand moved to the buttons of my pajama top, opening them one by one while he kept kissing me without pause.

For a second, everything in my head went quiet. Then I forced myself to act, even though it felt difficult. I slowly reached for his hand, stopping him, my chest tight with confusion.

"Jacob, are you sure about this?" I asked quietly, the question slipping out before I could hold it back.

He stopped and frowned, clearly taken aback by my hesitation.

I felt the moment slipping, but I couldn’t stop myself. I had to be sure he wouldn’t regret anything once we marked each other.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, his voice sharper than before, a hint of irritation slipping through because of what I said without thinking.

“Do you still doubt me?” he asked again, pushing further. His stare made my throat tighten, and I couldn’t get a single word out. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. It was my fear. What if one day he saw I wasn’t good enough? What if he walked away? I had no idea how I would survive that.

He waited for my answer, his face calm and unreadable. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and that only made my stomach twist more.

A knock came at the door, breaking the silence. Jacob stood up, ran a hand through his hair to fix it, took his phone, and walked out with a tense look.

I got up fast and buttoned my top—the same buttons Jacob had opened before. My hands shook so much I could barely push them through the holes. My stomach tightened as Jacob’s face flashed in my mind.

Why did I act like that? I was his Luna, and I had refused him. Would he punish me for it?

I tried to breathe slowly, but my throat felt dry. It should be okay, I kept telling myself. I didn’t do anything wrong.

But the thought of my future scared me.

Jacob would reject me one day anyway… so maybe it was better if it happened now instead of later.

Should I apologize? Maybe he would give me another chance. But even then, I didn’t think he would ever see me as his Luna again.

These thoughts kept going in my head. I walked around the room, my fingers twisting together. Time felt very slow. After a while, I got tired.

I sat on the bed and let out a long breath.

My eyes were about to close when a sudden knock on the door made me jump up.