Inevitables

Time moved slowly, sluggishly, like my heart,

It's sound, a turbid rhythm in my chest, like wading in mud water, dragging my head through varying degrees of shock,

Of all things I anticipated, expected, planned for, this was the least of them.

I didn't even think it possible, it was not a scenario I saw happening,

My eyes watch, sluggishly, same as my heart at the teardrop that track Ajax's cheek trailing onto his lap.

‘He's dad, isn’t he?’, he says it again, and my head rears back in a whiplash.

The fact that he repeated it, a statement this time, proved the extent of the situation, it was a testament to how much of a mess I was in.

‘Why is he not here with us?'

‘Did he do something bad?',

‘Is dad a bad man?’, with each question, his voice raises, bordering on hysterics, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

‘Why don’t you want me to meet him?', he asks again, yet my mind travels, trying to pinpoint what could have given it away,

I had been very careful to never mention the