Terror, ice cold in it’s grip, wrapped around me as I make a run for it,Chills dripping down the base of my spine, my heart in my throat as I cross the remaining five steps towards the door,I’m right in front of it, dread pulsating through my blood at an all time high, my hands outstretched for the handle seconds earlier,A scream tore through my throat as I felt his hand close around my bicep, yanking me towards him,Breath built up in my throat, another scream bubbling up,Adam slapped a hand around my mouth, sealing it, pushing that blood curdling scream back down my throat.I clawed at his hands, dread beating a violent rhythm in my heart, but he wraps his around my shoulders, ignoring my nails against his skin as he dragged me back in.Still I struggled, dragging my feet, stretching my hand out to grab onto anything that would give me an advantage,Yet he dragged me, against my struggles, his heavy breathing echoing in my ears.My legs go weak, pain exploding in my right leg, a
I blink repeatedly, my breath quickening as my heart stopped in my chest,I looked around the room that was devoid of Adam but it held secrets that made the temperature drop to chilling degrees,My hand goes to wrap around me as I stood still, battling the ice settling into my soul as I stared at the left wall of Adam's bedroom.The wall that was once covered up with a mirror was now bare and I could see the secrets it held,The mirror was pushed to one side which made the horror so clear to see,My nails dig into the fabric of my sweatshirt and I take shaky breath after another, hoping the wall of pictures I was staring at was not reality,I hoped it was a dream, maybe even a nightmare, but not reality,‘Please, please don’t be real', I begged, throwing my pleas to the cold room and hoped I would blink and they would be gone.But my nails pressing into my skin, painful even through fabric was proof enough that I was very much awake,My mouth drops open as I stare at pictures of me, o
A laugh escapes my lips when Simon bolts from his chair the moment the clock strikes 5,He takes a look at me and a smile fills his face,‘I guest I’ll be leaving first today', he grabs his jacket, sliding into it in seconds,‘I’ll call once we get home', picking up his suitcase he walks towards me and places a kiss on my forehead,‘I love you', my breath gets stuck in my throat and my mouth flops open and close as I searched for the right reply,‘I…’, it was the second time he said those words and yet, saying it back seemed impossible,‘I’ll….I'll call you', yet Simon smiles at my alternative, he places a kiss on my forehead again and bounds out of the office.A smile lights my face as I watch him go.Seconds later it fades, my happiness overtaken by fear as I put my things together.I walked out of his office, uncertain, walked stiff as a rod as I rode the elevator down and contemplated a decision which seemed now like nothing but a moment of weakness.Between relief and s
‘I can’t let you leave’, he repeats and tiredness that I masked with coffee comes creeping back,‘I done with this', I bite out through bone deep tiredness that made me forget cool headedness ‘I’m tired of this fighting’‘This back and forth with you Simon', ‘Aren’t you tired?’, I throw the question at him even when his mouth stays sealed while I spoke.I'm tired of this all so I'm going to leave'‘I'm going to go and you can just forget all of this happened'‘Just pretend that the last few months was a dream, a figment of your imagination’,Still he doesn’t speak so I turn away from him, run my hands through my hair,‘I'll write the letter again', I take his silence for acceptance, his drooped shoulders for defeat.But I feel his hands enclose around my arms, both hands holding onto me with a light touch,It’s just impossible Tina’, he whispers refusal again, and my eyes snap back to him, a biting remark on my tongue.‘You should have thought of that last week, before I
‘I'm leaving’, I slap a letter of resignation onto Simon's table the minute I entered his office, not even offering him greetings,I strode in with conviction that this was the only option,To leave and pretend the past few months never happened,Said conviction was what built grit into my steps, built strength into my arms as I slammed the letter on his table,But despite the fact that the slam of my hands still echoed in the brightly lit office, and my eyes were narrowed to slits, it didn’t stop the droop in my shoulder,Neither did it stop my diminishing confidence when Simon looks up and our eyes meet.We state at each other for all off five seconds, and in those moments the events of the day before play across his pupils,With it, reminiscence flash across my mind,The crying mess I became the minute I got home, Forcing myself to bed, yet only grabbing fitfuls of sleep, waking up repeatedly to fresh tears on my pillow,‘I can fix this', I had told myself in the dead of
Then I’m marching away from him, stomping back inside, away from cool evening air and the ellipse pool that reminded me of our stolen moments together,With relief I find that Simon doesn’t follow as I hear no footsteps from behind me.As I move back up the stairs, my stomp gradually reduces into a walk, red clearing from my vision,My shoulders are slumped again when I get to the room that had my son in it,Unbelief crowds into my head, realization dawning on me.I push open the door, to see Ajax occupied with one of the numerous action figures on the shelves, ‘Let’s go home', his face falls, but he gets up, lifting toy Spiderman with him,I walk in, picking up his bag, and hitching it on my shoulder then I hold his hand in mine,‘Aren’t we going to say bye to dad', Ajax pauses and looks up at me as we walk out of the room,‘I said bye to him already’, I pull at his hand and he follows nodding.We walk down the stairs and my heart stops when I see Simon standing at the foo