Chapter 6: Second thoughts

I kissed back without hesitation, giving just as much as I was getting. I wasn't a good kisser when we met; I didn't know the first thing about kissing. He was patient with me, telling me what to do, and now I was better—still clumsy, but better.

His tongue probed at my bottom lip before pushing into my mouth, and his hands wandered over my body. I felt hot everywhere, wanting him to touch my skin.

I wanted his skin on mine, and I was needy for it.

Our kiss became desperate, and I tugged at his shirt to get a feel of his toned skin. Oliver's lips strayed from mine to my face, and he slid his hand down to cup my breast, his thumbs brushing across the nipples that hardened into a tight bud through my dress.

"Ela." He mumbled, and I shuddered in response to the hot air brushing lightly over my skin. I arched into him, trying to ease the tension that had built up within me.

My hands wrapped around his neck, pulling his head down so he could steal my breath away with his kiss. He answered my need and sealed his lips with mine while his hand travelled down to pull up my dress, so his hand sang on my skin.

My breath tightened in my chest as his fingers wandered up and came to rest against my clothed sex.

"We are going to have sex tonight, right?" I broke the kiss to ask. He was turning me on with his lips and fingers, and I felt good being touched and wanted more. My body yearned for him more than it ever has.

His brow furrowed. "Do you want us to have sex tonight?" he asked while rubbing me through my cotton pants.

I never liked it when he turned my question around and made me answer it. It always felt awkward.

His thumb flicked over my erect clit, and I hissed and squirmed in response. "It's what lovers do, especially married lovers," I answered, finding my voice.

He pulled his hand away from me, and I almost whined. "I know all that, sweetheart, but do you want to have sex tonight?" He pinched my cheek.

"Yes," I responded without hesitation. I enjoyed his hand on me a moment ago, and if that was the roadway to sex land, I was ready for it.

He grinned, and his eyes flickered in adoration. He leaned in and kissed my lips tenderly. "Good, because I want that, too."

Knowing we were on the same page should have made me happy, but I was instantly terrified. If there was something I remembered from Mrs. Idah's class, it was that the first time would hurt depending on the size, and the image of him inside me gave me anxiety. I didn't know what to make of the pain to come or how bad it would be.

My worry must have been evident on my face as he asked. "What's wrong?"

I smiled nervously. "I don't know; I feel terrified."

"Don't be; I will be gentle." He assured me before getting off and stretching his hand. "We should shower."

I took his hand, and he pulled me onto my feet. He stepped away and pulled off his shirt, which left him naked from the waist up. 

Surprised, I asked in a tone of alarm. "What are you doing?"

He smiled and said, "I'd like to believe you shower naked." He said and took hold of his plain black trousers and unzipped them before pushing them off onto the floor, leaving him in his boxers.

I drew a silent breath and held myself together with my last will. 

His body was toned and ripped in all the right places. Oliver wasn't bulky, but he wasn't thin; he had a well-built body that matched his six-foot-two-inch height and made him look dreamy. He had a bearded chest, which I knew because I had seen the hair peek out whenever he wore a polo.

I stood with my hands wrapped around myself, and my uneasiness was not leaving. I was about to see him naked for the first time, and him, me. He had the perfect body because he regularly worked out, but I had never been to a gym before, so I had reservations about my body.

"Take off your clothes, Ela. It's only fair I get to see you, too," he said, although his hands were already on his boxers.

"I can't," I mumbled.

"Why?" He asked before adding, "You do not want me to see you?"

I felt a rush, and I knew it was from shame. If Oliver knew I was ashamed of my body, he would be disappointed, but how could I ever compete?

"You are perfect," I told him, and I meant it from every point I could think of.

He walked up to me and cupped my face in his large hands. "And you are so precious; you don't even know." His eyes bore testament to the fact that his words were true. "Let me see you, my love."

I nodded, and I turned. "Help me with my zip," I said, and he helped unzip the sundress I had on, and I turned to look at him. I pulled at the dress and slowly pushed it down to the floor. I stepped out, being left in my black bra and cotton SpongeBob pants. My cheeks flushed at the realisation of what I had on, and I wondered what was going through his head.

I glared at him when he pressed his lips together, "Don't you dare laugh."

He shook his head and said, "I won't. I think it's sexy on you."

My nose scrunched up. "You don't mean that."

"And how will you know?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but I shut it up. I unhooked my bra and let it fall, and I heard a sharp drag of breath. The response I was getting fueled my confidence, and I pulled off my pants. With everything taken off, I stood naked before him.

"Goodness! You're just so gorgeous. My beautiful wife has the sexiest body," he said in a pride-filled tone. 

"It's your turn to take it off." I found enough confidence in his compliments, and I eyed his boxers..

He hesitated. "Warning, I can't compete with that." He pulled down his boxer, and he stood naked before me.

My eyes lingered on his face for a while before travelling down to his shoulders, his bearded chest, and toned abs, and then down to his waist and lower. I swallowed when I saw him—the very thing that made him a man. It hung there, somewhat hard and throbbing, surrounded by a nest of trimmed hair. My core clenched.

This was what he looked like, naked. He wasn't too big or too small, but it was big enough to hurt a first-timer for sure.

"Second thoughts?" He asked after a moment of silence went by, and I didn't stop looking at his growing erection.

My eyes snapped up to meet his unsure ones. I didn't answer his question because I had nothing to say. "We should shower," I said instead.