Chapter 004

CHRISTIAN

I want a divorce… Her words rang in my head as I shut the door behind me.

She wanted a divorce.

Finally.

She had said the words I had waited to hear from her lips since the moment I watched her walk down the aisle toward me in a gown that was never meant for her.

I flinched as memories from last night provided me with the answer to my question. My jaw clenched with guilt as an image surfaced uninvited. Last night was everything I’d dreamt of for years and yet, denied myself every single time.

I nodded absent-mindedly, barely acknowledging the nurses at the reception as they tried to get my attention. Pacing myself, I strode out of the hospital and headed towards the back of the building. There was a blind spot around there. I found it on my second night at the hospital… my wedding night.

I dug into my coat pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, flipping it open with shaky hands. Taking the pen-shaped lighter from my breast pocket. I lit a stick and inhaled deeply, letting the smoke burn its way into my lungs as I leaned against the cold wall.

It didn’t work.

Charlotte’s hurt face clouded my vision. 

Rubbing my palm over my face, I pushed off the wall and began pacing, agitation coiling tight in my chest. 

Why did I care?

This was what I wanted. This was what was best… For everyone. Especially Charlotte.

But the thought did nothing to ease the pressure crushing my ribs.

I took one last drag and tossed the cigarette away, grinding it under my shoe. The smoke had failed me. I needed something, anything, to drown out the chaos in my head.

The gym would have worked. If I could leave, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave her alone now more than ever. 

Earlier, when Vivienne had said my name, my heart had nearly stopped. I thought—God, I actually thought—she had remembered me. Only to doze off and wake up with a blank look and the same question that shattered my heart the first time I heard it– ‘Who are you?’

Heavens. 

This was harder than I had expected. Picturing Vivienne’s blank look and Charlotte’s hurt face was driving me insane.

I ran my fingers through my hair, dragging in a slow breath before focusing my thoughts back to what mattered. 

Vivienne.

Straightening, I headed back into the hospital, just in time to catch the doctor and Mr Rockford, Vivienne’s father, exiting her room.

“Christian,” Mr Rockford called as soon as his gaze rested on me. “I didn’t think you were here. Have you had any sleep at all? You look… tired.”

That was one way to put it. I looked like shit and smelt like it too. 

I shrugged, my gaze flickering past them to the door behind. “It is nothing I can’t handle. Vivienne comes first.”

“Just like I was telling Mr Rockford, there is nothing either of us can do at the moment.” The doctor cut in, glancing impatiently at his wrist. “She is suffering from amnesia, and we have yet to determine if it’s long-term or not. It might have been as a result of the trauma from the incident. Apart from that, she’s responding well to treatment, much to our delight.”

He took a step forward. “If you’ll excuse me–”

“You’re not excused.” The sharpness in my voice surprised even me.

The doctor froze. Mr Rockford lifted a brow.

I said a little too harshly. Mr Rockford cocked his brow at me in surprise. I stared down at the doctor. I was on edge, and the man I pay hundreds of thousands a month will not walk out on me. “You’re not excused until I say so.”

“Mr Hale, with all due respect, I’ve a surgery scheduled–”

“Then you had better stand still and provide me the answers I need,” I snapped, “Or you might as well resign from your post now.” 

He shut his mouth instantly, his shoulders stiffening.

Good. 

I learnt at an early age that money had a language everyone understood.

I cleared my throat, hating the vulnerability clawing its way up my chest. “She remembered me earlier today. What went wrong?”

“The brain sometimes suppresses memories surrounding trauma,” he replied cautiously. “It could be five, ten years back. She remembers her early life and the people in it.”

I glanced at Mr Rockford. He nodded, a tiny smile sprouting between his lips. She remembered her father and Gloria, her bestfriend, but not me. She has known me longer than she has known Gloria. 

Why in the world was that possible?  

A pang of dread flashed through my chest. What if she was unconsciously trying not to remember me because of–

“You’re dismissed,” I said flatly. 

I stared, lost in my thoughts, with my guilt eating away at my insides. 

“She’s going to remember with time. You’ve nothing to worry about,” Mr Rockford squeezed my shoulder lightly. “You should also take it easy with the doctor. Poor man almost bit his tongue in his haste to reply to you,” he chuckled and gave me a tap before releasing me. “Why don’t you take the night off and freshen up. I’ll stay here with her.”

“No,” I said hastily and caught myself as he gave me a concerned look. “I made a promise to spend tonight with her. I can use the restroom to freshen up.”

His face wrinkled with concern. “Christian–”

“Please, Marcus,” I called him by his first name, knowing it would end whatever argument we were about to have.

He smiled and nodded. “Fine. Have it your way. I’ll be here in the morning to see her before going to Japan.”

I nodded in agreement. “You’ve been good to her,” he whispered as he walked past me. “Take care, son.” 

I stood, staring at the door long after he was gone. Guilt kept me rooted to the spot. It had been easy to atone for my sin when she was unaware of anything. Now, she was awake… and she doesn't remember me. 

Because she doesn’t want to?

I shoved the thought away and pushed open the door, my eyes falling instantly on her sleeping form. I walked straight ahead, fighting the urge not to glance at Charlotte’s bed. The bedside lamp cast a pale glow, enough to see her face. She looked peaceful, except for her sunken cheeks.

“Vee,” I called softly, pulling a chair beside her bed. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Softly, i stoked her cheek before grabbing her hand and covering it with both of mine. The beeping of the machine punctured the silence in the room. “Vee… baby, can you hear me? Why won’t you remember me?”

My phone vibrated in my pocket just as I raised her hand to my lips. I inhaled her smell, my mind reeling back to the night of the accident. Guilt rushed me like a wave, knocking breath out of me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears spilling down my face. “I’m so sorry, baby. I thought I was doing the right thing… for you. I never meant for you to end up here. I’m so sorry. We’ll go ahead with the marriage if that’s what you want… I promise.”

I planted wet, desperate kisses all over her arm, my tears slowly subsiding. My phone vibrated again. I ignored it, but the incessant vibrating continued. Angrily, I pulled out the offending object, took a quick glance, and placed it in my ears. 

“Jake,” I said calmly, feeling the anger drain out of me. “What’s so important?”

A pause from his end, followed by the sound of someone panting. “Mr Hale, sorry to disturb you, but you asked me to call if anything unusual happens with Ms Charlotte. She’s heading out.”

That was something unusual for Charlotte at this time of the night, but I could tell that wasn’t the end of it. “She has her bags with her,” he said with a hint of fear.

I jerked out of my seat, knocking my chair back in my haste. 

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. Something cold squeezed my chest painfully, stifling my breath. She’d meant it.

“Mr Hale… what should I do?”

Jake’s voice snapped me back to the present. “I’m on my way. Keep her there….” then almost like a silent prayer. “Please.”