Chapter 004

CHRISTIAN

I want a divorce… Her words rang in my head as I shut the door behind me.

She wanted a divorce.

Finally.

She had said the words I had waited to hear from her lips since the moment I watched her walk down the aisle toward me in a gown that was never meant for her.

Why then did I feel a sharp pain in my chest at the thought? Why was I pacing the hospital hallway like a madman on the loose?

I paused and turned towards the exit. I needed to get away. I needed fresh air to cool my head.

I nodded absent-mindedly at the nurses as I hurried past them. As soon as I left the hospital building, I took a few steps forward and turned to the corner on my left. I walked for a bit longer. There was a blind spot around there.

I found it on my second night at the hospital… my wedding night. It was the perfect spot for this nasty habit I picked up. I had my image to protect.

Digging into my suit pocket, I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and flipped it open. I grabbed one and lit it with shaky hands before taking a long drag. The smoke curled around my mouth, burning its way into my lungs as I leaned against the cold wall.

I burnt through the first stick and was at the tail end of the second. I was supposed to feel better by now.

But I didn't.

Charlotte’s hurt face teased my mind, and I let out a frustrated groan. Why was this so hard? I've kept my emotions in check for three years. So why now?

I rubbed my palm over my face and pushed myself off the wall. A sliver of panic crawled up my spine.

Why did I care that she was hurting?

This was what I wanted. This was what was best… For everyone. Especially her. I could never give her the love she wanted.

But the thought did nothing to ease the pressure crushing my ribs.

I took one last drag and tossed the cigarette away, grinding it under my shoe. The smoke had failed to calm me. I needed something else. Anything, to drown the thoughts in my head.

Hitting the gym would be perfect, if I could leave.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave Vivienne alone now more than ever.

Earlier, when she had said my name, my heart stopped. I thought—God, I actually thought—she remembered me. Only for her to wake with a blank look and the same question that shattered my heart the first time I heard it: Who are you?

I swore softly under my breath, punching the wall with my fist.

This was going to be harder than I thought. All I wanted was to be with the woman I loved. How can that be so difficult?

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying hard to steady myself. I didn't have time for self-pity.

Vivienne was awake. She was the only one who mattered.

Straightening myself, I popped a gum in my mouth and headed back into the hospital. I arrived just in time to catch the doctor and Mr. Rockford, Vivienne’s father, exiting her room.

“Christian,” Mr. Rockford called as his gaze rested on me. “I didn’t think you were here. Have you had any sleep at all? You look… tired.”

That was one way to put it. I felt like shit. And I was certain I looked and smelled like it too.

I shrugged, my gaze flickering past them to the door behind. “Nothing I can’t handle. Vivienne comes first.”

“I was just telling Mr. Rockford, there is nothing either of us can do at the moment.” The doctor cut in, glancing impatiently at his wrist. “She is suffering from amnesia, and we have yet to determine if it’s long-term or not. It might have been as a result of the trauma from the incident. Apart from that, she’s responding well to treatment, much to our delight.”

He took a step forward. “If you’ll excuse me–”

“You’re not excused.” The sharpness in my voice surprised me.

He froze. Mr. Rockford lifted a brow.

I glared at the doctor, feeling the last thread of my restraint stretch. “You’re not excused until I say so.”

“Mr Hale, with all due respect, I’ve a surgery scheduled–”

“Then you had better stand still and provide me the answers I need,” I snapped, “Or you might as well resign from your post now.”

He shut his mouth instantly, his shoulders stiffening.

Good.

It was easier to get their attention when I was cold and aggressive.

“She remembered me earlier today. What went wrong?” I kept my gaze on the top of his head.

A smirk touched thecorner of my lips as he gulped. “The brain sometimes suppresses memories surrounding trauma,” he stated, his eyes stuck on the ground. “It could be five, ten years back. She remembers her early life and the people in it.”

I glanced at Mr. Rockford. He nodded, a big smile on his face.

Guilt clenched hard around my chest.

She remembered her father. And she remembered Gloria. She’s only known Gloria for a couple of years. I grew up with her.

I turned away, feeling my mask slip away. What if she was unconsciously trying not to remember me because of–

“You’re dismissed,” I said flatly, waving my hand at the doctor.

I lost track of how long I stood staring at the ceiling. I wished i could take back what happened three years ago.

“She’s going to remember with time,” Mr. Rockford’s voice interrupted my thoughts. He squeezed my shoulder lightly. “You’ve nothing to worry about.”

“And you should take it easy on the doctor. Poor man almost bit his tongue in his haste to respond,” he chuckled and gave me a tap before releasing me. “Why don’t you take the night off and freshen up. I’ll stay here with her.”

“No,” I replied too quickly and caught myself as Mr. Rockford cocked a brow.

I faked a smile. “I made a promise to spend tonight with her. I can use the restroom to freshen up.”

“Christian–”

“Please, Marcus,” I called him by his first name, knowing it would end whatever argument we were about to have. “I want to be here.”

It worked.

He smiled and nodded. “Fine. Have it your way. I’ll be here in the morning to see her before going to Japan.”

I nodded in agreement.

He headed out, pausing as he walked past me. “Take care, son.”

I remained standing, staring at her door long after he was gone. Guilt kept me rooted to the spot. It had been easy to atone for my sin when she was in coma.

Now, she was awake… and she doesn't remember me.

She doesn't remember the accident.

I grabbed the handle and pulled the door open before I lost my nerve. My eyes instantly fell on her sleeping form.

I tried hard not to stare at Charlotte’s bed as I walked towards Vivienne. The bedside lamp cast a pale glow around her face. She looked peaceful, except for her sunken cheeks.

“Vee,” I called softly, pulling a chair beside her bed. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Softly, I stroked her cheek before grabbing her hand and covering it with both of mine. The beeping of the machine punctured the silence in the room.

“Vee… baby, can you hear me? Why won’t you remember me?”

My phone vibrated in my pocket just as I raised her hand to my lips. I inhaled her smell, my mind reeling back to the night of the accident. Guilt rushed me like a wave, knocking breath out of me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, finally letting the tears run down my face. “I’m so sorry, baby. I thought I was doing the right thing… for you. I never meant for you to end up here. I’m so sorry. We’ll go ahead with the marriage if that’s what you want… I promise.”

I planted wet, desperate kisses all over her arm. My phone vibrated again.

I ignored it, but the incessant vibrating continued.

Angrily, I pulled out the offending object, took a quick glance before placing it in my ear.

“Jake,” I said calmly, feeling the anger drain out of me. “What’s so important?”

“Mr. Hale, sorry to disturb you, but you asked me to call if anything unusual happens with Ms. Charlotte. She’s heading out.”

That was something unusual for Charlotte at this time of the night, but I could tell that wasn’t the end of it.

“She has her bags with her,” he said with a hint of fear.

I jerked out of my seat, knocking my chair back in my haste.

She was leaving.

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. A cold hand squeezed my chest painfully, stifling my breath.

She’d meant it.

“Mr Hale… what should I do?”

Jake’s voice snapped me back to the present. Before I could process what I was asking, I said the words. The ones I knew went against everything I was trying to achieve.

“I’m on my way. Keep her there….” then almost like a silent prayer. “Please.”