Chapter 4 - Julian

"Her name is Emily,” I said, sighing and taking a step away from the shelves. "Stop being so intimidating, Nadia.”

I wondered what Nadia was doing here. She never called for about a week, and was here all of a sudden. She seemed to be glowing, smelling wonderful, too.

I turned my attention from her.

Emily looked so uncomfortable, eyes everywhere but locking on anyone's.

Nadia hummed, ignoring me. "What's your major?" “ English," Emily softly said.

She was so dainty which wasn't my usual type. But her presence was interesting. The way she carried herself … it all made me want to know more. It was such a shame I couldn't remember that night, but I comforted myself with the thought that at the very least, it was good.

And something told me that being around her would be a much better experience. But I couldn't do anything when Nadia with all her trouble was here.

She was really frightening Emily with her glare and while I appreciated it whenever she did it to other girls, I didn't this time. It kinda pissed me off.

“ New student, right?" Nadia continued. “ I've seen you around Ava Morales and she's pretty new, too."

Emily nodded, her hands red from gripping her books.

I reached out to help, but Nadia stopped me with a hand. I frowned. “What?"

“We have to leave," she spoke, not looking at me. “Your father called me." I let out an exhausted breath. "About what?”

She glanced at me over her shoulder. "Do you want me to say it in front of her?”

I looked back at the confused Emily and offered her an apologetic smile, for what? I didn't exactly know.

I grabbed Nadia loosely and dragged her outside before she could bother her further.

I could hear the click of a camera as we walked out of the library and ignored it. Even in the library, I'd never be safe from attention.

Outside, under some nearby trees, I let go of her, looking down at the blonde woman, questions in my head as she remained silent.

“Are you going to speak or just keep pissing me off?" I finally asked.

She smiled, her arms folded across her chest. “Just wanted to make sure you could still talk. He said he was having a dinner party with the VC of the university, and a few other important guys, so he wants you to come.”

I knew what this was. Not a request. There was no way for me to refuse. “ He could've just called me."

Nadia laughed. “Your phone is switched off." She smiled mischievously. “ I bet that's intentional."

I sighed. “Just wanted sometime alone without him bothering me. Guess that'll never be possible."

“You didn't seem alone, with that … new girl. She's cute," she said, sitting on the bench. “Where did you meet?"

I sat beside her, hands in my pocket as I tried to remember a few details other than the party. “ Ethan's party. I think we slept together,” I said, ruffling my hair as she gaped.

“You slept with her?" she questioned loudly. “Are you sure? Ethan told me you were drunk that night," she added, whispering.

"I was. But I woke up naked in bed with her,” I mumbled.

I turned to see Nadia quiet, her expression unreadable. “What?" “ Nothing," she said. “ It's just interesting. So … you like her?"

I tapped my chin. “Something like that. I do want to get to know her a little better. Maybe be friends."

She let out a laugh of disbelief. “You've never actively tried to be anyone's friend. I'm pretty surprised."

"Well, people change.”

I got up, gesturing for her to get up.

“ How did you know I was at the library?" I asked, walking side-by-side. “ Ethan told me.”

"Of course he did," I sighed.

We left for Ethan's place, stayed there for lunch, simply enjoying each other's company. Nadia eventually left for the guest room to sleep, tired from her various sessions and travels.

I sat alone in the living room, calmly staring off into space, thoughts swirling.

I was thinking about that party. I really didn't want to go. Sometimes I wished I wasn't the only son. I wished I had another family. So much pressure, so much expectations.

So much words of warning …

‘Do you want to embarrass this family? ’

‘You 're my son, do as I say. If you do, your future will be bright. ’ ‘What would people say? ’

‘If you follow the rules, your life will be great. ’

‘No. We don't report to the authorities in this house. ’ ‘Nothing is illegal if the people in charge support it. ’

‘Money. All that matters is money. Get money, more money, and more money. ’

‘Even if you report to the police, do you honestly think they'll do anything? I have money. We have money. So many connections, influence. ’

‘If you 're angry, suck it up. You know you have no choice. You never have. ’

My mind couldn't forget those words ingrained into my mind. My bones. My soul.

I grabbed the half empty glass of whiskey on the stool before me and drained the glass.

I heard a door open and moments later, Ethan plopped beside me. “You know, you've turned moodier than ever,” he began. "It's like you're a different person. I worry sometimes."

I could hear the concern in his voice, but no matter how close we were, I couldn't just say what's on my mind. It's deeper than that. Dark.

“ Is it family stuff?" he asked, concerned. “You wouldn't understand," I simply said.

"Okay.” Ethan gave up. "But just know, if you need anything, you can always reach out. I'm your friend. I'm here to support you.”

He raised his fist for a fist bump, and I reciprocated the gesture. “Thanks," I said.

He poured himself a drink. “ It's cool. You've never been the open type, and I won't give you to be. Unless it's something serious."

It was noon and I left for my place to decide on an outfit for the dinner party. I drove in silence.

“Incoming call,” was said aloud, and I answered it.

"Did Nadia give you my message?" my father asked in his usual gruffy voice. “Yes, sir."

“Good. I sent you the address and time. I expect you to be at your best behavior. There's someone I'd like you to meet.”

My jaw tensed. "Okay." The call ended.

I returned back to silence.

“ He's definitely going to matchmake me," I said to myself.

“Incoming call. "

I sighed and picked it.

“Julian," a female voice spoke.

I paused breathing for a moment. “ Hello, Mom.” "M- my baby,” she whispered.

I closed my eyes for a second, letting out air from my mouth. “What do you want?" I asked rudely.

“ I- I just … I just wanted to talk to you," she said pitifully. “To hear your voice."

“ I already said I'd come visit next week, you'll be able to see me then, what else do you want?" I told her, fighting the urge to hangup.

“ I know," she breathed. “ But can you blame a mother for trying to reach out to her child?” She sighed sadly. "You never call or text anymore. It's happened since highschool, but I assumed it was just you being stubborn … wanting to be independent. We really used to be so close. I love you so much, Julian. Why don't you want me to-”

"You know why,” I interrupted harshly. "You know why; I've told you why. I don't know why you want to keep having this conversation when you don't really care about what I think.”

I heard her sniffle. “ But you know this is hard for me. I'm doing this all for you. All of this is for-"

“Save it," I said, trying to control the anger in my voice. “ I'll see you next week. But we're not going to talk about this again. You've already made your point."

There was silence at the other end of the line. Silence, but I could also hear heavy breathing and sniffling.

“Goodbye, Mom," I said, right before hanging up and driving into my house.

***

The party was just like I expected. Boring and fancy.

As usual, I turned myself into the perfect extrovert and charmed my way into everyone's heart. It was difficult forcing a smile when I just didn't care. When I didn't want to be here.

I held a glass of wine in my hand, thoughts elsewhere.

I needed something warm and just … sweet. Something totally new.

My mind went to Emily. I silently cursed myself for not asking for her phone number back at the library. That has been part of my intention until Nadia came.

I didn't understand why I was so interested in her and wanted to know her better. I could be with anyone.

Whenever I looked into her eyes, it gave me nothing but comfort.

A large man who looked like he'd burst out of his suit came up to me, a wide smile on his face. “Julian, my boy," he said enthusiastically. “You shouldn't be standing all alone. There's so many beautiful young ladies here. I've heard of your reputation for women." He leaned closer,

whispering, “We're both alike in that area, and I might even go home with one today."

I faked a smile, my skin crawling because of his words. I was nowhere like him, I internally denied.

“ It depends on how I'm feeling tonight," I said, which he readily accepted, laughing loudly like I said the funniest thing ever.

“ I like you. Ah, you're so funny, just like your father.” He patted me on the shoulder before letting me be.

But my little peace was disrupted by my father, of whom I hadn't seen since stepping into the building.

He looked the same as always, his expression hard and eyes always showing disapproval. “Julian," he said. “Glad you could make it."

Not like I had a choice.

I nodded, offering him a small smile as he placed a hand on my shoulder, acutely aware that someone's always watching. Looking for something to post online. My father hated bad press, and me being shown to be a displeased son wasn't good press. Even if I hated him, the press didn't have to know.

“What do you think about the girls here?" he asked, locking eyes with me. “ I don't know," I replied honestly.

I hadn't met all of them. They were okay. Some were a bit overwhelming, but I wasn't unused to it. I knew some of their names and their popularity though.

He shook his head. “That won't do," he said, his voice lowered and even. “ I called you here because I want you to find your future wife." He continued, his grip on my shoulder starting to hurt. "I have a few girls for you to meet. Well, just one in particular. She's perfect.”

My tongue felt so heavy that I couldn't muster the courage to tell him off. To refuse him.

But his eyes which never showed emotions, that felt like a black hole, sucking you in, leaving you paralyzed with fear wouldn't let me.

He called over a woman walking past us. “Angelina! Just the girl I wanted to find."

He waved over a gorgeous red head dressed in black. She fluttered her eyelashes when she got closer.

"Son, this is Angelina Ross. She's the daughter of Adam Ross, the owner of AM Technologies.”

I could tell from his eyes what he was trying to communicate to me ‘ Don’t fuck this up’ and I sighed internally.

Turning to Angelina, I introduced myself. I didn't have to say much for her to swoon, which thankfully, made my father pleased.

“ I'll leave you to alone then."

With that, he walked away. But my eyes followed him as he walked away, grazed the hands of a woman, and held her hand, kissing her before walking up the stairs acting lovey-dovey.

That woman wasn't Mom.