CHAPTER ONE

I sat at the living room patiently waiting for when my husband would return home, Sean

was arriving very late from work every now and then.

I sighed and turned on my phone to check for any message from him but there was none and he hadn’t reply to the ones I sent too.

I rested my head on the chair and closed my eyes. I don’t know how much time had passed when the front door opened with a click

He entered still looking put together in a white dress shirt and black pants his jacket hanging on his arm.

Our eyes met and I smiled at him but he didn’t return the gesture. Ive been waiting for him all night and he couldn’t even smile back at me.

“Why are you back so late?” I said walking towards him to take his jacket from him but he walked pass me ignoring my attempt to help

“Why are you still awake Claire?” He asked avoiding my question,and walking towards the stairs

“I was waiting for you” i stated “I even made you your favorite” I added with excitement walking towards the stair closer to him.

“ Im not hungry,and Ive told you to stop waiting for me.” he replied and walked up the stairs to our bed room

The shower ran for exactly seven minutes. It was always seven minutes,Ive counted it several time

I stood at the foot of the stairs with my hands still stretched out wishing he had handed his jacket to me then kissed me In the forehead,apologizing for not calling or reply to my messages all day but that was my delusion speaking.

Sean had never reached back. He was polite the first two months of our marriage, then I got pregnant and he was more than polite and I thought we were making progress and that finally he was going to love me,he actually cared or should I say he only cared about the baby, so when we lost the baby the situation got worse.

I had spent the past few months translating his indifference into devotion because that was what good wives in families like ours were taught to do: if a woman cant keep her husband happy then she has failed being a woman.

I heard the water shut off. Footsteps. The guest room door closed with a soft, final click.

Only then did I move and walked to the position I was waiting for him to come home, still processing the faintly smell of his cologne and someone else’s perfume (something floral and expensive I would never wear).

I sat there and let down a few tears,it was all my fault,I wasn’t good enough,too plain and too ordinary of cause Sean couldn’t love someone like me.

“But I wasn’t going go give up,I’ll fight for our marriage,I love him and I’ll make him love me too” I thought as I wiped my tears away

He is going to love me.

He is going to care for me.

And tomorrow im going to wake up then make sure his breakfast is ready,work clothes prepared,lunch packed and ready for him. He’d see me,it’s just a little time and he’d love me because I love him and I don’t know what I’ll do without him.

“Tomorrow will be a great day” i smiled standing up and going to our bedroom,he isn’t sleeping next to me tonight but he will soon,with all these thoughts and hope in my heart I laid in the bed, imagining all the good memories we were going to be having soon.

I was going to be a great wife so Sean will love and care for me,I just have to do better,Ive been a bad wife and I have to Improve and do better.

I won’t even care about the perfume that didn’t belong to him or me,if I was a better wife all that wouldn’t have happened.

My phone light up indicating I had a message,I picked it up hoping to see Jane’s message,no one ever texted me if not Jane she was my best friend and the only one who cared about me after my mothers death,dad only ever texted me when he needed me for something or when he could rub the love he had for his wife and other daughter in my face. My stepmom and stepsister don’t like me at all to want to text me.

I sat up seeing the message was from my dad “be home tomorrow” it read, I wonder what it is now, I hated going home.

After my mom died when I was fifteen,my dad remarried my stepmother and she had a daughter my age, but they didn’t like me,I didn’t even do anything to them they just hated me and my dad didn’t care about me in the first place to want to care about why they treated me like shit.

I didn’t send a response but I would go,I could never say no to my dad hoping that one day he’ll see me and love me like a father should love his daughter. All night I couldn’t sleep,I was trying to think what could this meeting probably be about. Whenever I’m called home,it’s always never good and I’m always the one to get hurt.

I laid there staring at the moon through the balcony glass wishing tomorrow will be a good day.