I was on the bus this morning on my way to the office. It wasn’t packed in the street, unusual traffic. The bus was speeding because there were only a few vehicles ahead. It only took 15 minutes to reach the intersection of the 24th street while usually there was a traffic jam near the old market.
It might be because of the rain, so most people weren’t eager to go out. No wonder because it was cold, and the road was wet with the puddles, not quite an ideal condition to go out. It was more comfortable to sleep at home, especially curled under a thick blanket. Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford such a luxury on the workdays.
Still, I enjoyed this morning because of the calming sound of a few vehicles around. The petrichor—the soil earthy scent after the rain—was comforting too.
I exited the bus after it reached 26th street. Crossing the street, I waited for the next bus at the bus stop. After five minutes, a bus stopped at the bus stop. It was almost full. I rushed to sit in the front row, near the driver. When I sat, the seat sounded instantly.
A passenger who sat behind me clicked his tongue. I ignored him because why should I let a stranger ruin my mood?
After twenty minutes, the bus reached the Better Lane. I immediately got off the bus. Crossing the street again, I finally arrived at the office after walking for 5 minutes.
The office where I worked was like a giant house from the outside. However, if we walked inside, we could see the office building. The company had a textile factory in a town. Most of the time I worked in the office, unless at the end of the year. We had a stocktaking where we counted and checked the inventory in the factory storage.
“Morning, Lana,” Cecil greeted me as we met at the gate. “So, how’s it yesterday? Winning it?”
I pulled her hand so she would follow me to the office cafeteria in the back of the office. No one was there, just the two of us, because it was early.
“What a mess!” I said to my best friend. “Instead of winning, my name wasn’t even listed on the finalists’ list. I spent a lot going to the capital. What a waste of money!”
Cecil gasped and widened her eyes. “How could it be? Spill me with everything! I want the details!”
So I told her everything. My face was damp with tears again. While telling her what happened last night, I repeatedly wiped my tears with a tissue. However, a few workers walked to the cafeteria. So, I took a deep breath, trying to control myself to stop crying because I didn’t want others to see me in such a miserable state.
“You should be mad at those who held the event. How unprofessional!” Cecil hit the table.
A few workers who just came to the cafeteria glanced in our direction. They might be startled or curious.
“Shh! Keep your voice down! I’m embarrassed if anyone hears us,” I whispered.
“Why should you? You did no wrong. The steering event committee is the one who should be embarrassed. How on earth could they do this to you?! Announce your name as a finalist and out of nowhere, suddenly your name wasn’t on the list on the awarding night?” Cecil’s pitch was rising. “If you want, you can sue them.”
Sue?
Cecil held my shoulder and shook it a little. “Lana, say something?”
“I’m clueless about what I should say because you suggested I sue the committee. It’s impossible! Besides, it won’t change anything.” I let out a long sigh. Then I glanced at my watch. “We only have a half hour left. What do you want to eat?”
“Salad and orange juice. You?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “I’m not hungry.”
“Hey, you must eat. I know you must be disappointed and upset, but you must eat something so you can have the energy to work.”
“But I don’t have any appetite,” I said weakly, wiping my tears again.
“I’ll treat you with a beef sandwich and orange juice, okay? You’ll feel better after eating.”
Finally, I gave up. Cecil ordered our food. After the server brought us our meal, we ate in silence.
You know what? Cecil was right! After eating, I was better and was more relieved after venting to my friend. Good food and talking to our friend were the best medicine all women needed, probably men too?
Cecil was a colleague and also my best friend from high school. She knew me well. That’s why I was so happy when I found out I could work in the same place as her.
“Let’s go. We can’t be late. Don’t let Miss Johnson warn us.” Miss Johnson was the human resource assistant manager in the office.
“Thank you, bestie! You’re the best!” I hugged Cecil tightly.
“For sure! Cecil!” She said while winking, then laughed aloud.
Her laugh was contagious. I laughed too. We entered the office by holding hands. Cecil walked first to the attendance table and swiped her card in the machine. Later, she waved her hand. “I go first, okay? I must rush to finish last month’s report!”
I nodded and waved at her too. After swiping my attendance card to the machine, I put back the card in my wallet.
***
For a few days ahead, nothing unusual happened. One day, I was late. It was because a passenger took too much time to enter and leave the bus so we all had to wait for a while.
So, I rushed to the attendance machine when smelling an unfamiliar manly perfume around. Before I could turn around to see who was the one who wore the perfume, a confident and deep voice greeted me, “Good morning!”
I turned around without paying attention to the man and said, “Good morning!” Then I could only stand there, too stunned to say something else.
A guy, a head taller than me, smiled at me. What a warm smile! It could melt butter. He was like a famous model. Tall, white, with thick eyebrows, and a lovely smile.
However, his expression was startled when he saw me. Unconsciously, I touched my cheek. Probably, there was a stain there. Then, I wiped my hand on my clothes. Maybe something was wrong with my shirt?
I stopped myself when the handsome guy said, “Sorry, are you done?”
“Uh?” I was clueless of what he was talking about.
“Using the attendance machine I meant.”
“Oh, y-yes. I’m sorry to block you.” I waved my hand in the machine’s direction. “Take your time.” I moved to the side to give him space.
When I just walked three steps from there, the handsome guy called me. “Sorry, can you help me, please?”
I turned around and approached him. “Y-yes? What do you need?” Ouch! Why did I stammer?
“I have never used this one. Can you help me? Oh, by the way, I’m Edward Johnson. You?” He offered his hand to me.
I shook his hand. “L-Lana. Lana Smith.”
So, this was our new boss! I was sure we would talk a lot about this new, young, and handsome superior later. Edward Johnson was the only son of our boss, Mr. Robert Johnson, the CEO here.
It had been two months since my first date with Edward. We were getting closer in and outside of the office. He even fetched me home from the office every day. The rumors that we were lovers spread in the office. The close relationship between the boss and the assistant was the easiest gossip to share. The positive side was none dared to insult or talk negatively with me. Probably they were afraid. If the rumor was right, I could tell Edward whatever I wanted. But then, the negative side was many staff started wearing their masks, especially The Trio Gossipers. They were so sweet with me while before they rarely greeted me. Fortunately, Cecil, Jenny, and Anna stayed the same and treated me like usual. This morning when I arrived at the office, Cecil pulled my hand to the cafeteria. “Come to the cafeteria!” she said.“Why? Do you want to treat me?” She widened her eyes. “Me? You should be the one who treats me. You owe me the story.”“Uh? Story? What story?” I pretended I didn’t
The trip home was faster. I didn’t realize we had already arrived at my parents’ house because I was so happy with the date tonight. “Come inside?” I asked, despite doubting he would go. I enjoyed the night with him until I wished we could prolong it. “Okay.” Again, he opened the door for me. “Your parents’ house is comfortable. I love visiting it. Your parents are wonderful too.”I widened my eyes. “Really? Are you sure you don’t make mistakes?” I joked. We were already in the living room. He chuckled. “Yes, your parents are great. As if I hadn’t met them for the first time.”I just smiled to hear that. My dad and mom could be so welcome and warm when they met with people they liked. I wondered if Edward became my husband, he would surely be their favorite son-in-law. He snapped his fingers before my face. “What are you thinking of?”“Oh? Uh? I enjoyed tonight. Thanks to you.”He nodded while smiling tenderly at me. “I also enjoyed tonight. Thank you, Lana.” His eyes beamed beau
I was silent, waiting for him to continue his story. Again, he let out a long sigh. “You know, after my professor commented on it, I couldn’t sleep that night. So many things whirled in my mind: disappointed, sad, and upset. I didn’t have any freedom, even to choose something I liked.”I couldn’t find the right words to comfort him. Some of my schoolmates experienced the same thing with him. When obligation and responsibility conflicted with the heart's desire, one had to make a sacrifice. In Edward’s case, he sacrificed his dream. After thinking about it, I asked carefully, “Did you regret you couldn’t do what you wanted to do the most?” I didn’t want to hurt him because this kind of question could be like pouring salt on an unhealed wound. For so many times, I could hear his sigh. I thought he wouldn’t reply because he was quiet for a while. Finally, he answered, “No, it wasn’t a complete regret. I did what I had to do. Besides, everyone is born with a different responsibility
“It’s fate. Life and death are in the Almighty’s hands. We can only live and do what we should do. You know if the day wasn’t the time for her to die, even if there was an accident, she would still be alive.”He didn’t answer at first, but then he sighed. “Yes, it’s possible.... but....”“Living in guilt won’t bring her back to life.”“I know, but it’s hard to let the guilt go.” His voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat several times. “I don’t know. Maybe because I have gotten used to carrying the guilt.”Suddenly, I got an idea. “Close your eyes.”“What for?”“Just do it!” I said.He slowly closed his eyes though he seemed curious about my request. “Now imagine Laura is here. What will you say to her?”He immediately hugged me. “Laura, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so stupid. If I could turn back time, I’d make it up to you. I’m so sorry! It’s just a stupid game. I didn’t mean to be serious with her,” he said. His tears fell to his cheeks. “Laura has already rested in peace ther
The next day, when I prepared myself for the date, my mom started the interrogation. “Where are you going, Lana? With whom? Do I know them?”“I’ll go with my new boss, Mom. He’s nice,” I said calmly. I had gotten used to her many questions. “A date?”“No. It’s just to build a good relationship so our work will be good.”My mom raised her thick eyebrows. “Oh, really? Then why do you keep searching for clothes if you aren’t dating?”“Well, I need something good to wear. Besides, it’s embarrassing if I go with my boss but I wear a bad one,” I said, giving her a make sense explanation while shrugging. “I see. But then, last year you had an office event. How come you weren’t as busy as now to find a new cloth to wear?” She seemed still curious. “Mom, I want to pee. Later, okay?” I rushed to the toilet. In the toilet, I let out a sigh of relief. If I didn’t escape, my mom would continue interrogating me until she found a satisfying answer. For six years without ever going to any date
I gaped instantly. A double raise? Was it a dream? “Boss, are you sure? When you mentioned double, do you mean I must do the work as your assistant and also as the accounting staff?” I asked him because I had to know for sure. It was a too-good-to-be-true offer. “Hold on. I’ve got things to do. Let’s discuss it later.” Then he hung up. I continued my work to find some folders and documents I needed to prepare the current month’s financial report. After a while, because I was too busy and focused on the work, I didn’t realize Edward already sat before me. “Answering your last question, I asked you to be my assistant full-time. Another staff can handle the accounting. So, you can focus. What do you think? Say yes, please?”Without further ado, I nodded. It was a dream come true! From last year I wished to get a raise. Now I got it, double! Who didn’t want it?***It was five p.m. already. The time flew so fast. I had finished piles of work. When I prepared to go home, Edward approac