Chapter Four

SUSAN’S POV

I lay in bed, thinking about how my life would be without Mark. At least he was sincere, I thought. As Val said, I would have to let him go. I couldn’t share my man with other women. I believe love should be guarded. Letting my two years of love, hope, and investment go away hurt so much—worse than I imagined—but I would be fine. I picked up my phone to immediately end things with Mark, I deserve better.

Val returned with coffee. “What are you doing, Sus? Just stay off your phone for now,” she said, pulling the phone away from me.

“Here you go,” she handed me the cup. “It’s hot. Sip it slowly. It’ll help you.”

“My phone, please,” I demanded.

“Why?” Val asked.

I sipped the coffee and groaned. “Arghh. This tastes awful.”

“You should finish it if you want those headaches gone,” Val said. “Plus, it’ll make you sleep. You need that too.”

“I need to send Mark a message,” I said. “I want to end things. I don’t want him showing up at my house, calling, or texting. I need to end things.”

“And you have to do it now?” Val asked. “You should sleep and wake up and think straight.”

“I’ve walked this path before, and you know it,” I said. “Mark knows me. If I take more time, this relationship will continue. I’d rather do it now. That way, he knows I’m serious and things have changed.”

“You’re right, babe,” Val said, concerned in her eyes. “But are you sure about this? You’re hurting, and I can see it in your eyes.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, taking a sip of coffee and stretching out my hand for my phone.

Val handed it to me. I set my cup on the desk beside the bed and typed a message to Mark: Our relationship is over. Don’t call or show up at my house again.

“Done,” I said, sending it.

Val hugged me tightly again.

She checked her phone. “11:46 a.m. Oh, Sus, I really have to go now. I need to do my laundry and clean up. I still have emails to respond to.”

“Alright, Val. Thank you for always being a friend,” I said, looking at her with gratitude.

“Anytime, Sus. Anytime,” she said, heading to the door.

“Please don’t forget to lock the door behind you,” I reminded.

“I won’t,” Val replied, her voice fading as she left.

I was alone again, with my pain and reality staring at me.

It’s a new beginning, Susan, I told myself. Mark is gone, but there’s a lot more ahead—work, dreams, and other men too. I chuckled as I imagined my life with the men who would come after Mark.

We’ll see how it goes, I said, smiling softly.

I finally made it past the day. I slept harder than Val explained and woke up with a feeling of giving life another chance.

I checked my phone. Nothing interesting—just Val checking up on me like she wasn’t the one who knocked me out. The day had passed, and I was tired of staying in bed. I got up. Thankfully, Val helped heat my pasta, which would have spoiled if she hadn’t. I popped it in the microwave, sat down to eat, and stared into thin air.

My mind raced through possibilities until it clicked: “I should try clubbing again, it used to be my thing until….”

No, Susan. No clubs yet. You need to heal.

But I could heal at the club. There are many ways to heal, I argued with myself. Eventually, I decided.

I took a shower, went to my closet, and pulled out a red-hot revealing gown Val had bought me before I met Mark.

She said the gown screamed danger and could hide my subtle heart.

For the first time, that gown felt like a perfect plan.

I called a cab because I didn’t want to drive. I chose a different club—one for executives, intense-looking, and one I’d sworn never to enter. I dared this time.