Chapter 6: An Adventure

Kiera's POV

"Where are we going again?"

Jayden asked for the third time.

"New York." I said.

"But why New York?" He asked again.

I looked away from the window, the clouds, the flat grey Atlantic below them and down at Jayden with his coloring book open on the tray table.

"We're going on an adventure," I said.

"What kind of adventure?" He asked.

"The kind where we figure it out when we get there." I smiled.

"Will there be good food?"

"Yes." I said.

"Okay." He went back to his coloring. "I want a burger when we land."

"Sure." I said.

He smiled, satisfied, and I turned back to the window.

The clouds were thick below us, flat and white. We're been here for seven hours, seven hours of Jayden treating the flight like a personal gift from the universe, interrogating the flight attendant, discovering every button on the seat panel, announcing to no one in particular that the clouds looked like dogs. The woman ahead had turned around twice and both times Jayden had given such a bright smile that she'd smiled back without wanting to.

That was the thing about my son, you could never stay annoyed at him.

I pressed my forehead lightly against the cool glass.

"Mama." Jayden didn't look up from his page. "Are we going meet your family in New York?"

"Something like that." I didn't turn.

"Like cousins and stuff?" He asked.

"No." I kept my eyes on the clouds. "We're going to your grandfather's place."

He went quiet for a moment. "I have a grandfather?"

"You did, he's gone now." I kept my voice even. "That's why we're going, to sort some things out."

"Ohh." He said slowly. "How come I never met him?"

"He wasn't around much." I said quietly. "When I was growing up."

"Like my dad?"

The question landed quiet and clean.

"Yeah..." I said. "A little like that."

Jayden nodded slowly. "Was he nice?"

"Sometimes." I said. "But not always."

"Okay." Jayden said quietly. "Are you sad he's gone?"

I felt the question land hard in my chest. I looked at my son, those ice-blue eyes watching me, had no idea how much weight he'd just set down on me.

"It's complicated," My voice came out low.

"You always say that." He said.

"Because it's always true." I said.

He looked at me for a second, then he reached over and put his small hand over mine on the armrest the way he'd started doing lately, when he sensed I needed it more than he did.

I turned my hand over and held his.

The clouds moved below us and I let myself think about Henry Carrington properly for the first time since the phone call

I remembered the exact morning. It was a Friday. I was ten, still in my school uniform, eating breakfast at the kitchen table when he came downstairs with a bag, like he was going away for a weekend. He kissed my mother on the cheek, told me to be good and walked out the front door.

He didn't come back.

By Christmas there were divorce papers, by spring there was another woman and a whole rebuilt version of Henry Carrington, with no room in it for the family he'd decided weren't worth keeping.

My mother never said a bad word about him, not even once. That was the part that gutted me, watching her protect his name with her silence while she worked double shifts and told me everything was fine. I'd learned to hate him quietly because she'd never let herself, and now he was dead.

Dead and he'd left me everything and I still didn't know if that was guilt or love. He was gone and complicated it in the most permanent way possible by dying before I could ask him why.

"Mama." Jayden's hand tightened on mine. "Is this where I'm going to meet my daddy?"

I looked at him.

"Possibly." I said softly.

"Possibly means maybe yes." His voice came out soft.

"Possibly means possibly." I said.

"Okay." He leaned his head against my arm. "We'll figure it out when we get there."

I pressed my lips to the top of his head and didn't say anything.

We landed at JFK past four.

The city rose up through the descent the way it always did, huge and completely indifferent.

"It's so big," Jayden beamed, face pressed to the window.

"It is." I smiled.

"Bigger than London?" He asked.

"It's different than London." I corrected.

He pulled back from the window thinking hard. "Are there dragons?"

"No." I said.

He pulled back from the window looking mildly disappointed.

The terminal was loud, bright and relentless, every language at once, luggage carts, chaos. Jayden walked beside me taking everything in. I kept my face calm and neutral.

"Mama, that man has a very big hat." He pointed.

"Jayden," My voice came out sharp. "Don't stare."

"Okay," he dropped his finger.

"Mama, my lace is undone." He pointed to his shoe.

"Hold on." I steered us to the side, out of the flow of foot traffic, crouching down to kneel Infront of him. "Give me your foot."

He kept his hand on top of my head automatically, the way he always did for balance, and I worked through the knot.

The display screens above the arrivals hall cycled behind him, news, weather, corporate advertising. I wasn't looking at them, I was looking at his lace, then I heard the Carrington Financial Group name, from the screen's audio, a corporate announcement, and my hands slowed down without meaning to.

I glanced up.

There was the logo, my father's company. A ceremony, an award, the camera sweeping wide across a stage and then cutting close.

The camera cut to a face, and the floor dropped out from under me.

A man in dark suit, with broad shoulders and sharp jaw, standing at a podium.

I knew that face.

I hadn't seen the face since six years ago while I was still wearing my gala dress and my marriage was ash.

He was the stranger.

The man with no name who I'd left before morning and told myself it meant nothing.

He was on the screen above JFK airport receiving an award from my dead father's company.

"Mama, you're done," Jayden said, looking down at me. "My lace is done."

I didn't move.

"Mama?"

The screen cycled and he was gone.

I stood up slowly, kept my eyes on the screen for one more second.

"This can't be happening," I breathed.

"What?" Jayden looked up.

"Nothing." I took his hand and turned away from the screen. "Come on, let's go find your burger."