Chapter 4 - Promises

CLEMENTINE

 I didn’t know what it felt like to have a parent. I was raised by a family member who treated me like I was their very own housemaid. I had to beg if I needed something and I was only given too little, while constantly being reminded that I should be eternally grateful to them because they took care of me when no one wanted to.

It was a daily struggle and I kept questioning why I was born. If I wasn’t enough for my mom and dad to stay. If I hadn’t done enough for them to like me. Was I not the daughter they asked for that it was so easy for them to decide to leave me?

My question was never answered. It’s just that I stopped asking them… until I saw those two lines. I didn’t feel anything but fear, and the thought kept running in my head… I didn’t want to be like my parents. The only way for that to happen was if I didn’t have the baby.

When I arrived at his apartment, I was welcomed by a hug. It was a huge relief to see him smile when I handed him the photo from the ultrasound. His eyes twinkled when he traced his finger on the photo. My heart warmed at the sight of him. Whatever fear I had immediately went away.

How lucky this baby is to have a loving dad.

The smile was still on my face when he turned to look at me. In an effort to appear nonchalant, I unnaturally transitioned into a straight face and awkwardly looked away.

“Thank you, Clementine,” he whispered before wrapping his arms around me. He felt so warm and comfortable that I had no desire to walk away from him, even when I should really let go and keep my distance.

Because the truth is, I was so scared to do it alone. I was on autopilot, having no idea what to do. Up until now, I still wonder if I’m doing the right thing, and I’m so scared to ask, so I let Sancho hug me instead. I displayed my momentary weakness as I leaned on him.

“I should have gone with you,” he whispered while lightly tapping my back.

I wasn’t crying yet, but when he did that, I became aware of the heavy weight on my shoulders. I cried so hard and sobbed.

“I’m sorry for being selfish,” he said, which caught me off guard. “I saw how hard you’ve been working for your dreams. How big of a sacrifice it was to ask for this. So, thank you, Clem.”

“Just promise me two things.” I continued to seek his warmth when he stepped back. I badly wanted to hold his hand but I didn’t. “After all this, promise me we’ll never see each other and when we do, don’t look my way. If we haven’t forgotten about each other by then, let’s pretend we don’t know each other.”

It sounded ruthless, but this is necessary. I had to hear him promise that to me.

“Promise me, Sancho,” I said when he didn’t respond. “I need you to promise me these.”

His lips parted, trying to speak, but he closed his mouth, forming a thin line as he swallowed. “What’s the second one?”

“I need you to promise me that—” I paused as my vision became blurry with tears. “That you won’t forget to feed the child. Buy the baby lots of clothes and toys. Lots and lots of them. Celebrate every birthday and holiday together. Just… promise me you'll love and cherish this child forever.”

I didn't want this baby to grow up like me. I needed Sancho to promise that he'll provide the best life.

“I promise,” he finally agreed.

“It's a deal, then.”

It seemed like both of us had thorns removed from our chests as we looked more relaxed after our talk. Sancho wasted no time. When I was about to sleep, he knocked on my room door with a piece of paper.

‘SUPPORT AND LIVING ARRANGEMENT AGREEMENT’

That was written in bold letters.

“Are you scared that I'll change my mind?” I asked, seeing how serious this document looked. He's doing the right thing to ask for this. It's just that I wasn't expecting him to do this so soon. It hasn't even been two hours since we had that conversation.

“I know you wouldn't, but still, we need to talk about this today.”

I read the terms, and it was almost impossible not to be surprised. Me living under the same roof, all my expenses being covered, and allowing me to personalize the guest room which is now called ‘my space’.

“What do you mean additional support?” I asked. It was under number 2, Financial Support. I squinted my eyes. “And I'm not obligated to repay? What if I ask you for $10,000 right now? Is that the kind of additional support you were talking about?”

“I might ask you what you're going to use it for.”

“And if I don't tell you?”

“Then I'll just trust you and give you the money.”

I sighed, massaging my temples. For someone who works in finance, it looks like it'll be very easy to scam him.

“Were you testing me?” he asked.

I laughed in disbelief. “This contract was obviously made for my benefit. So, I'll have this and review it. I'll let you know if I have any revision suggestions.”

“Of course, you're free to add whatever you want.”

I rolled my eyes. He might as well give me the moon and the stars while he's at it.

“Clementine,” he called my name. I gulped when my eyes landed on his lips that looked like they were begging to be kissed. I wanted to jump on him and make him lay on the closest bed from where we are. It's fascinating how this is actually the first time I am sleeping in the guest room because when I stay here, I'd always stay in his room.

“What?” I asked, pretending to be frustrated when the only thing that frustrates me right now is the blurred lines between us.

Sancho must have caught my thoughts. He leaned in and whispered, “Anything you want to discuss before I leave?”

“Sancho.” I warned him. I pushed him away, but it instead backfired when I felt how hard his muscles were. “Stay away from me, please.”

He laughed when my cheeks turned a different shade of pink.

“Good night, Clem. You know where to find me,” this asshole said, having the time of his life teasing me. “In case you need anything.”

Oh, I'll stay in my room and stare at this paper for a long time. I'll make sure to add a thing or two… for my own protection, for goodness’ sake.

He moved closer, pausing when we were cheek to cheek. I could feel his breathing on my cheek and I was trying so hard not to push him away or pull him closer and beg him to just plant his kiss there… and everywhere.

But he didn’t.

I still have my shit together but I'm scared I might lose it anytime soon.