He is determined not to lose her again, so he musters all his courage to express his thoughts to her. He wonders why they can't be more than just friends and why they can't be lovers. However, her psychological condition is the main obstacle, causing her emotions to be in constant conflict. The young man comes from a wealthy family; he is a billionaire with a mysterious past that remains unknown to society. Only the lady knows his deepest secret and has played a significant role in his life in the past. When they meet again, the memories of his past come back to him. Then the billionaire hopes that maybe, at present, they can be more than just friends. However, the lady wants to say goodbye to him. Would she stay? Or would she say goodbye? Will they fall in love? Or is it impossible?
View MoreCHAPTER I
Saturday, 2:00 pm in
Bosnia and Herzegovina time zone.
A drop-dead gorgeous, dark hair young man walking down the stairs heading towards his car. His car looks expensive.
His long black coat glistens in the late afternoon sun. His appearance reveals that he belongs to a wealthy clan. Probably his a billionaire.
His face displays a strong confidence but in his eyes there is a deep sadness.
The moment he reached his car his cellphone chirped and vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and stared at the screen.
In his messenger. " ? "
The message contains only a question mark.
He nodded. Trying to recall who the message sender is and what is the missing link. And as far as he remember, it is just an inquiry about his post on social media which at present he is no longer connected. Then he decided to reply.
“You inquire on my post and that was years ago” he replied.
“Sorry but I don’t remember your post, what is that all about?" the sender replied.
“No worries, I’m no longer connected to that business, not anymore." he replied.
"Okay. Where are you from?" the sender asked.
"I'm from Bosnia and Herzegovina" he said.
"Sorry, I’m not familiar" the sender replied.
“It is in Europe." he said.
"Okay." the sender said.
“How about you where you from?" asked the young man.
He get inside his car while waiting for the reply.
Few minutes had passed. Still no answer.
He decided to go for his friends are waiting for him at the nearby restaurant .
On the other side of the world,
In the country where the sender resides is already evening.
They have different time zone.
The message sender is sleepy now and decided not to reply that’s why the young man got no reply from her.
The massager is a woman. A woman who is older than him. She decided not to reply when she read the young man's country name. For in her mind there are flashes of memories which she cannot explained. As if she's been there before, but what she knew is not and that is impossible.
And when she open the profile of the young man and saw his photos, he looks familiar but she cannot remember where or when and how they met. And maybe not. Or maybe yes but a long time ago that she can hardly recall. She’s unsure.
Suddenly, because of that thoughts she got headache.
She decided to get some sleep to ignore her thoughts about the young man.
"Those things are impossible. It never happened." she whispered.
And then again she is talking to herself.
"I'm just a little unwell today. I have to get some sleep and maybe tomorrow might be good."
And then she fall asleep with that thoughts in her head that result to a bad dream.
It’s not so surprising that she behave like that for she has a psychological disorder which is called personality disorder.
Personality is the way of thinking, feeling and behaving that makes a person different from other people. An individual’s personality is influenced by experiences, environment (surroundings, life situations) and inherited characteristics. A person’s personality typically stays the same over time.
A personality disorder is a way of thinking, feeling and behaving that deviates from the expectations of the culture, causes distress or problems functioning, and lasts over time. Personality disorders are long-term patterns of behavior and inner experiences that differs significantly from what is expected. The pattern of experience and behavior begins by late adolescence or early adulthood and causes distress or problems in functioning. Without treatment, personality disorders can be long-lasting. Personality disorders affect the way of thinking about oneself and others, the way of responding emotionally the way of relating to other people, and the way of controlling one’s behavior.
There are specific types of personality disorders. One of them is the so called Borderline Personality Disorder. Person with BPD have trouble regulating their emotions effectively. They may experience splitting, which is a term that refers to seeing things as all good or all bad.
Frequently sees things in black and white terms, which means things and people are seen as either all good or all bad.They don’t believe good people can be bad sometimes or can make mistakes, which can lead to becoming consumed with anger toward people. For them, things, experiences, and people were either all bad or all good, totally wonderful or totally worthless, completely positive or completely negative.Splitting is considered a coping mechanism that helps a person with BPD avoid getting hurt. It allows them to discard things and people they have decided are all bad.
Splitting is an unconscious attempt to safeguard ego and prevent anxiety. A defense mechanism commonly developed by people who have experience early life traumas, such as abuse and abandonment.
In essence, people with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. They have an intense fear of abandonment. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.
Intimacy avoidance describes the degree to which an individual withdraws from close emotional contact from a relationship partner.As a result an intimacy phobic person, even if she or he did stumble across their ideal partner, they wouldn’t choose them. Intimacy phobias are after one thing, and that is to avoid being hurt.
This suggests that romantic relationships with people with BPD are more likely to end in a breakup.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often have rocky relationships, both romantic and platonic.
They experience constant changes in emotions.
In short, in a person have BPD, everything feels unstable: relationships, moods, thinking, and behavior—even identity.
Self-image, goals, and even likes and dislikes may change frequently in ways that feel confusing and unclear.
In addition, people with BPD often experience a profound lack of self-image and self-concept. They may feel like they don’t know who they are, and their perception of their own identity may vary widely over time. They might even have trouble seeing their past self, present self, and future self as the same person. They change who they are depending on their circumstances and what they think others want from them. Their thoughts and feelings change to match the current situation.
And sometimes they has experienced mild forms of dissociation from time to time. The experiences that go along with dissociation, includes amnesia.
The type of temporary amnesia that last hours, days, weeks, months, or longer. It involves wandering or unplanned travel, in which the person may establish a new identity in a new location very different from their old life. This involves people being unable to recall specific information about themselves, often due to a traumatic event or intensely stressful situation.
And that is exactly what happened to the message sender. She wandered and developed a new identity in her new home which is very different from her old life.
So maybe or maybe not the young man is part of her past but she cannot recall who he is, how they met and where the specific place is.
She can hardly recall.
But maybe there will be a chance that she will remember her past for all is temporary.
And then she fall asleep with that thoughts in her head, about the young man that result to a bad dream. Her dream is about what happened a long time ago in her life ….
CHAPTER XLVIIWhen Atif arrived home he found Haya in their room sleeping.Atif felt relief.But Atif got nervous when he saw the flyers on the floor. The flyers contain the prices of the tickets going to Asian countries.He was sitting on the bed beside Haya. Too disappointed. Thinking that what he thought about Haya a while ago is true.He thinks that Haya really bought a ticket and is about to leave him again.Maybe because they always misunderstand each other lately so she decided to leave him again.But Atif won’t allow that thing to happen.Haya was awake from deep slumber. He felt that someone was sitting beside her.When she opened her eyes she saw Atif.When Atif sees that Haya is awake he begins confronting her about the flyers that he saw on the floor.“What is this flyer all about?" Atif begins to ask Haya about it."It's just nothing." Haya a
CHAPTER XLVIFridayIts winter eveningThe wedding chapel was decorated with pure white flowers as white as the snowflakes falling because it's winter.Atif is on the Altar waiting for Haya to walk down the aisle. He is so handsome in his wedding suit.He is wearing a dark blue suit.Haya is wearing a white with blue color motif wedding gown.The motif of her wedding gown is like the color of a clear blue sky.Haya walks slowly going to the altar where Atif is standing.Atif waits her patientlyAs she begin to walk towards the altar the wedding theme song is sing by the famous singer in town.The music which they dance during Atif’s birthday party with the title Never Thought (That I Could Love) by Dan Hill.Haya reached the altar.The wedding ceremony begin.Few hours later the wedding ceremony was over.They are now husband and wife.After the wedding Haya li
CHAPTER XLVIn addition she wanted to show to her father that she is more useful than her father's family that her father chose over her way back a long time ago.Her father left her in her Aunt Selma's house because of her stepmother.The other side of her personality, the bad side dictates her to take revenge. She is consumed with anger this time.But the other side of her personality which is good dictates her to help her father because she is still her father even though he abandoned her when she was a child.Haya got so confused about what she felt at this moment.Then a few hours later. After the two sides of her personality fight inside of her, the bad side wins. She is ready to do bad things again.She will just listen to her father's wish to take revenge.Haya slowly walks in front of the mirror.She decided to reveal her real physical appearance. She removed the dye on her hair.She removes her makeup th
CHAPTER XLIVAtif arrives at home.Because it is the weekend all of the members of his adoptive family are in the mansion, taking rest.No one will go to the office or business trip. Jasmin call at the back of Atif when he is about to walk inside the mansion. Atif didn't notice that Jasmin was in the hallway when he arrived.“Atif it's already morning, where did you sleep last night?” Jasmin asked with wide smile on his face.Atif turned around and answered.“In a friend’s house." Atif answered in a serious tone."Really? Some of our employees saw you hanging around in one of the apartments near the place of the perfume factory. So you have a friend in that kind of place? Probably a new one?" Jasmin asked."Yeah, I have. Is there something wrong with having a friend living in that kind of place?" Atif answered.“Oh there's nothing wrong with that. Just saying because there are rumors coming
CHAPTER XLIII Atif's trauma manifested when he saw this kind of scenario. He still can't forget his experiences when he was a little boy wandering out in the icy street of the city downtown. Haya sees on Atif's face that he is somewhat afraid to go outside. She guesses that Atif still remembers his experiences a long time ago. Haya pat Atif shoulder and said; "It's okay. You can stay here tonight. It’s dangerous to drive home when the weather is bad." Haya said then smiled at Atif. "Thank you." Atif said, trying to calm himself. He doesn't want to show his weakness even to Haya. Yes he is still afraid of that kind of scenario. His fear manifests when winter comes. But he never showed it to anyone. What people see in him is that he is a man that isn't afraid of anything. That he fears nothing in spite of his look of being gentle and sophisticated. But he knew he couldn't really hide it from Haya. Haya can read ev
CHAPTER XLIIThey are about to begin eating their food when Atif's phone on Haya's pocket rings.Haya pulled it from her jeans pocket.Atif tries to get his phone from Haya when he sees who is calling. Nea is calling. The lady that Atif dated. They sometimes talk to each other when Nea calls him."Will you please give me my phone?" Atif asked Haya in a gentle manner.But Haya just gave Atif a sharp look and still didn't hand the phone to Atif until the call ended.Atif doesn't understand why."Is she angry?" Atif thought.Then Atif's phone rings again. And it's Nea again.This time Haya turned off the phone and put it back in her pocket.Atif didn't insist on getting his phone again.He just began to eat his food silently.Then he heard Haya talk."Finish your food first then I will give you your phone. You are not allowed to use your phone while eating." Haya said."What?! I'm not a ch
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