Chapter 52

“You are seriously so immersed by your acting, aren't you?” I pushed Jaxson as hard as I could, giving all the strength left in my body making him stumble.

“I am.” He said with a giggle. “Why are you being so cheeky to me suddenly?” Jaxson asked before moving next to my stance. We were only a few inches away from each other so I quickly moved back a little to catch my breath.

I can’t answer Jaxson’s question directly right into his face. And I guess he pretty sure knew the reason why I am so distant to him ever since I saw Daniella in his office. I just don’t want myself to meddle with whatever it is that they are into.

If they are still having an affair behind all of this marriage act that we are doing, sure they can. Who am I, really? Even if I completely dislike them for doing that, I don’t think I should care more.

“What’s running through your mind?”

I drew my eyes to Jaxson as he gently lay down next to me while I remained seated.

“Come on, Cattleya. You can tell me.”

My eyebrows rose slightly due to the drastic change of his attitude.

“Why are you acting like this, Jax?” I questioned him after slugging down champagne directly from the bottle. “I know you don’t mean anything that is coming out of your silly mouth. Seriously, if you like to play a game then don’t pick up with me. You’ll waste your time ‘cause I am not that kind of person.”

“What are you saying?” he puffed air in his nose before facing me.

I traced the redness on his cheeks as well as his sly eyes.

“You are drunk… That makes sense why you're suddenly acting like this again.” I uttered before staving off my head away from him. “I should've noticed it sooner.” I picked up my phone and gently rose up from the sofa.

I came to a halt as I felt Jaxson’s palm wrapped around my wrist. It was so warm and soft.

“Jax. Let me go.” I sighed as I tried to pull my arm away from his grip, but it was too tight.

I am so tired of being so naive that I melt into this man’s way of acting whenever he is under the influence of alcohol. This is not him. The real Jaxson that I know should be dashing to find Daniella right now.

“I am not drunk, Cattleya.” He mumbled, trying to look in my eyes. “Look, what did I do wrong to make you act like this? It’s sorely bothering the hell out of me.”

My brows furrowed as I stared into his face, keeping my voice from raising to him “Jax, stop playing with me. Okay? Why are you suddenly acting that you really care for me?”

“But I do care… For real-”

“Oh, shut up.” I cut him off. “You know exactly what you did. You know very well whatever it is I saw in your office yesterday- ”

“Now I see where this is coming.”

I was interrupted when Jaxson slashed me, making my brow raise, questioning his words.

My mouth hung open as my eyes swiftly widened when I felt my bottom back on the sofa as Jaxson tugged me closer to him.

“You are jealous.”

“What!?” I jolted as I did not expect what ye thought. “You don’t know what you’re saying Jax. When will you stop acting that we are a real couple? This marriage is fake. It is a relationship with benefits for both of us. So why am I going to be jealous? Huh?”

Jaxson puffed air on his nose, snickering as his finger touched mine, like pressing a doorbell.

“Absolutely drunk.” I hissed as I tried to avert my gaze from his eyes.

“You saw Daniella in my office, and you ran out without even checking the whole room yet.” He said calmly. “When she came to my office to bring me the documents, our wedding coordinators were already inside. So whatever is in your mind that has been building up since yesterday was all just false imagination. There’s nothing going on between the two of us.”

I couldn’t do anything but fix my gaze back to Jaxson. I didn’t know what my reaction would be. I don’t even know what to feel after what he had told me.

Should I be happy that he’s not having an affair with his ex-girlfriend and that Jaxson was still focused on his plan? Or should I not trust him fully because he might just be saying this to continue playing his games to me.

“See, I don’t even know why I am explaining this but that’s the truth, Cattleya. And I want you to believe me.”

I remained silent, staring at the floor and couldn’t even utter a word because I am still dumbfounded.

This man always confuses my emotions.

“Look at me,” Jaxson whispered but my eyes just remained staring at the emptiness. “Cattleya, look at me….”

I felt his warm hand crawl on my chin, and gently, he turned my head so my eyes could meet his.

“I don’t fucking care what other people think. I don’t care if they are going to believe me or not. But you. I want you, Cattleya, to believe me no matter what happens.” He said in a gentle tone while staring straight into my eyes. “Wherever we put our nose into now, we can never trust anyone. But I promise to always choose to trust you, and you should trust me too. Be friends with no one but me. This place is more dangerous than you imagine. And if you ever fall into their trap, you will end up like what happened to me.”

“But… What if you are the one who will betray me..?” I asked.

“Only then I can’t keep you any longer. And if that time happens, I need you to slap my face as hard as you can to bring me back to my senses.” Jaxson said before lowering his gaze to our hands. He gently took one of my hands and locked it around him. “I'm just afraid of what will happen if you'll be the one to betray me… You know I can forgive you a thousand times.”

A crease accumulated on my forehead staring at Jaxson’s face even though his eyes are still fixed on our hands tangled together.

“What’s gotten into you? Why are you suddenly being sweet to me?”

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me, Cattleya. But what I am certain of is that I can now fight back without being afraid of losing anyone and go home with no one waiting for me…” Jaxson muttered and I could hear a tinge of sadness in his voice.

“You know I’m not gonna be here forever, right..?”

I seemed to feel sadness when that came to my mind again. It will be harder for us to let go if this continues. I feel like I don’t even want that day to come.

I hate to admit that I want time to slow down.

I was stunned as he brought his face to my ears, feeling a bit of soft lips on my skin.

“The ruler can always change the rules, doesn’t he?” Jaxson whispered.

I had a hard time taking myself back as I heard those words. I couldn’t believe that he was also thinking about that day. It’s giving me that idea of Jaxson considering keeping me on his side. And it only means one thing to me, He is starting to see my presence.

“So…” He rubbed his hand on his pants with a brow raised. “Are you now gonna treat me back to normal again after I cleared things up to you and free those ridiculous thoughts in your mind?”

I bursted into giggles.

Is this really a good thing that Jaxson actually pays attention to me more than I thought he is?

I don’t know, but I am starting to like it.

“Can I at least get an answer?”

I simply responded with a nod, still giggling.

“That’s better. It’s very important that we have a great understanding of each other. After all, you will be living with me starting now. And there’s no goddamn way that I will be sleeping on the couch again.” He chuckled.

“But I never told you that?” I defended myself. “I had no idea you were sleeping on the couch. You know I always wake up later than you so I really don’t know where you always slept.”

“Well, now you know I'm never gonna do it again after getting your concern.” Jaxson said before lowering his back again and lying down. His eyes gradually lifted to the stars as he watched them.

“You are a much better person than I thought you are.” I muttered as I also began to lay on the couch and do the same way as Jaxson.

I can admit that I was wrong in what I thought of him. In fact, he is actually better than I expected.

“Too early to say that.” He muttered. “You think you already know me? I don’t think so, Cattleya. There’s so much more to see in me than what you think you already see.”

I answered him with a sigh.

I think it’s pretty normal to live with people and still not to get to know the entirety of them. As people say, sometimes, we lie even in our own diary.

But for as long as I know that Jaxson won’t do such things that will harm me and the people that I love, I think I will be okay.

I was surprised when Jaxson's body slightly stepped on me, making my eyes widened. I felt his hand run to the back of my head and I feel like my nerve will burst with the tension I’m having.

“Relax, I'm just going to let you use my arm.” Jaxson murmured softly and then I felt him gently place my head on his arm and use this as a pillow. “We're going back here tomorrow.”

“Y-You don’t mean in this position… right?”

I heard Jaxson chuckled.

“I'm not that kind of man, Catt.”

“Shut up.” I slashed his words. “You have been so into kissing me a lot these days and it's not even written in our contract.”

He abruptly coughed as he maybe spit on his own saliva making me laugh at his reaction.

“- See? You know what you’re doing.” I jokingly gave him a weak slap on his chest.

“Can’t you at least filter your words?” He exclaimed in a high tone while still not finished with his cough.

“It’s the truth, though. You are almost even acting like my real husband right now. Joining me here and spending our first night together after the wedding. Look how sweet you are to me and make my heart flutter like crazy— ” I came to a halt when I realized the words that came out of my lips.

My hand quickly flew to my mouth and then dashed up from lying down. I picked up my phone before I ran away from Jaxson with no plan of looking back.

“Why are you running? Hey! Catt!”

I heard him shout at me but I didn't look at him and just kept running away from the balcony, shaking my head vigorously.

I pulled myself together out of annoyance so that I was also conscious of what came out of my mouth at the same time as I forcefully bit my lips.

You are going crazy, Cattleya! You are insane! What did you just say there !?