Jacob POV“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”It’s a quote from Lao Tzu that’s been going through my head ever since Emily shut that door with me standing behind it.I wouldn’t call myself a romantic. Once upon a time, I didn’t even believe in love, but this woman has stirred my loins back to life. She’s like a fire burning bright, setting the darkness alight. The very thought of her makes me dizzy with desire, but I fear this morning may have been the last time I’ve ever seen her.The furious look on her face was something I’ve never experienced before. To think I am responsible for her pain is something that I can never forgive myself for.My cousin Mason walks in, distracting me from my thoughts.“Don’t worry, bro, the cavalry has arrived,” he says, holding two tumblers and a bottle of whisky.I called him immediately after leaving the hotel. He’s my closest ally and best friend. I needed someone to confide in and not j
Jacob POV “Buddy, are you excited for your party?” I ask as Liam comes bouncing down the stairs. “Yes, I am. Can we go now?” He eyes me impatiently. It’s his fifth birthday, and I’ve planned the ultimate bash at Adventureland in Long Island. Leaving nothing to chance, I had the amusement park closed to outsiders for the day so we could have the lay of the land. Also, I had ulterior motives—I figured Liam would score brownie points with his school friends after another bullying incident. Last week, he returned home, sobbing, saying the other kids were making fun of him once again because he doesn’t have a mom. My little guy, the sensitive soul that he is, didn’t take it too well and ended up spending the rest of the day holed up in his room. Through his closed door, I could hear the occasional sob. When he didn’t come down for dinner, I went up, begging him to eat something. “Buddy, you’re not going to eat? It’s your favourite—mac and cheese,” I said behind the door. “I’m not hun
Emily POVImagine planting a seed and watching it grow—from the first green shoots fighting to break though the earth, to the colorful flowers popping their buds as the roots become stronger and colonise their place in the dirt.My mom used this analogy once when I asked her what it was like having kids. It was one of the few tender moments we shared as mother and child. Being the nurturing kind wasn’t her strong point. But then again, neither was being a parent.I often think about what she said, knowing I didn’t have the chance to see my own son take his first steps or say his first words. It’s his fifth birthday today. Every year, like clockwork, I make him a cupcake and light a candle. I sing “Happy Birthday” and then send a silent prayer into the heavens, hoping he’s happy, healthy and safe.I often try to picture what he looks like at different stages of his life. Does he have my brother’s goofy grin? Who are his friends? Does he ask about me?Before leaving the apartment, I tak
Jacob POVAfter the confrontation with Emily, I asked Mason to take the kids home. I took his car and followed her home, keeping a safe distance at all times.She pulled up in front of a tall brownstone building in Brooklyn. Looking dilapidated and manky, I’m sure it’s seen better days.Watching her input the door code, I waited until she was out of sight and in the building before going in after her. I’m not in the business of stalking, but granted, if given the chance, I think I’d make a great detective.I took my imaginary cap off to myself, and once the door buzzed open, I waited to hear her footsteps on the stairs. It sounded like her apartment is on the top floor.I hadn’t thought my plan out this far. Now, standing on the landing, I decide what my next move is. I hear water running and guess she’s probably taking a shower or bath. I go back to the ground floor and patiently wait. Hopefully, she comes back down.Ten minutes into loitering around the lobby, a guy with a Yankees b
Emily POVIf I could describe holding my son for the very first time, I would call it a cosmic shift. Jacob and I broke into big smiles when Liam called me Princess Aurora, convinced that I was still in character as the princess from the theme park.“Yes, she is, but she’s also your mom,” he says, waiting for a reaction from Liam.Without questioning his dad, he reaches up to me and I oblige by giving him the biggest hug. For that moment, it felt like we’re distant stars colliding into each other, setting off a series of explosions.His embrace feels warm and tender. He smells like cookies, dirt and innocence. If I could bottle it, I would.We stand like that for a long time, neither of us wanting to let go. When we eventually do, he whispers, “You’re so pretty,” and smiles a big, sheepish grin.I take a closer look at him and notice he’s wearing PJs two sizes too small for him.“Dad wants to chuck them, but I really like them,” he says. “Maybe we could get you a pair as well, then we
Emily POVYears from now, I’ll replay this memory in my head like a movie on repeat, every scene meticulously wrapped in tissue paper and saved for preservation.We play for hours, never mind the fact that it’s the early hours of the morning. Liam speaks with an urgency while regaling me with stories of monsters and princesses, as if he’s afraid I’m going to leave any minute now.“What’s your favorite song?” he asks, his eyes filled with curious excitement.I sit and think before I answer. No one’s ever asked me that before.“Mmmm, that’s a tough one. What’s your favorite song?” I ask in return.“Dad likes Otis Redding. He said he used to play all of his songs when I was little ’cause his voice was the only thing that calmed me down. So if I were to pick one, it would be ‘Dock of the Bay,’” he says.“That’s a really good choice. I quite like Otis too,” I yawn at him.“I really like Ariana and Beyonce as well. Dad says it’s important to have diversity,” he adds. “I don’t know about th
Emily POVTo say I wasn’t expecting Jacob’s proposition is an understatement. But then again, he’s full of surprises. I was completely floored.He sees the look of astonishment on my face while he patiently waits for an answer.“What about my place? I have six months left on my lease,” I say, still trying to process what he’s said.“No offense, but your place is a dump. I don’t know how you managed to stay there for so long without catching the bubonic plague. And after what happened there, do you really feel safe going back?” he asks, concerned.To be honest with him, I had never really thought that far. In normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be given a choice, and I’d be forced to go back. That’s the difference between people who have money and those who don’t.But I have the feeling Jacob is aware of his privilege, so I don’t broach the subject with him.“I don’t know. It’s a big adjustment. All my things are there,” I say, trying to think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t accept his
Emily POVAfter only three hours of sleep, I feel as light as a dandelion. Now, sitting in the sunlit kitchen, my hunched shoulders start to relax, and I can’t take the smile off my face.Using the most of my time, I make Liam blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs. I wonder if he has any allergies. Also, what’s his blood type? Has he been in any accidents? I’ll need to make a list of questions to ask Jacob when he’s awake.Jacob is the first to come wandering in.“Mmmm, that smells delicious,” he says while wiping the last vestiges of sleep from his eyes. “What is it?”I go over and swat his hand away from the pancakes.“It’s for Liam. Is he awake yet?” I ask, looking behind him.“After the day he’s had, I very much doubt it,” he says and goes over to the counter to make us coffee.The fresh smell of grounded coffee beans invigorates me and I grab myself a cup. Inhaling the aroma, it reminds me of working at the restaurant, a memory that now seems so far away.“Liam says you take him