The Ties That Bind

There was a topic that filled the newsroom with discussions and debates about the current political crisis; however, that did not occupy Ella’s thoughts. She was seated at her desk, with her hands resting on the computer keyboard yet her mind seemed to be somewhere else. His hopeful eyes filled her mind and the secret she had to swallow weighed her down greatly.

“Ella you been looking at that screen for an hour now” A voice interrupted her day dream. She glanced up and saw Michael Thompson a seasoned reporter who is both wise and kind and always ready to make a quip. "You okay?"

Ella forced a smile. That she was only thinking about her next piece, a lie she uttered.

'Well,’ if you ever need to ventilate, I am here.’

To that Ella only nodded, though she cannot accept the offer anyway.

That very evening, as the lights of the city came on, Ella peeled potatoes on the chopping block which was in front of the kitchen stove and Lily was playing around the legs of the table. The sudden ringing of the doorbell broke her from her thoughts, quite a rare event since she kept people at a very high distance.

Opening the door she saw Sophie with a worried look on her face. With much concern she said to her. We have to talk.

Ella's stomach knotted. "What's wrong?"

Hi, It is Natalie Chen,’ Sophie said before walking in. ‘She is digging, Ella And she is getting close.’

Panic surged through Ella. "How close?"

Sophie sighed. “Darn near, literally… She is inquiring about your maternity leave, why have you never dated again after the gala.”

Ella's mind raced. The barrier she provided herself with wither and dissipate.

The very next day, there is a conflict of interest where Ella confronts Natalie. “What are you looking for, Natalie?” she asked, her voice calm even though she was boiling inside.

Natalie took a deep intake, her eyes flickered and she leaned back on her chair. “The truth, Ms. Ella. That’s what we do here.”

Ella's resolve hardened. “So are some truths supposed to be headlines?”

Natalie looked at her with pity, something which she seldom showed to anyone. “I know that you're hiding something from me, Ella, there is something else that is going on and it is not concerning Alexander Knight.”

Ella turned to leave – whatever it was, her secret was still safe.

Sophie was always there for her, always at her side and offering her support. They go out at night, and they discuss everything and nothing, as if the fact that Ella had a child for Alex could be hidden from the world for a few more days.

And then one night, while lying in the bed watching Lily sleep, Sophie turned to her and said. As much as you wish to conceal it, you cannot continue to do so, Ella. She is entitled to know her father.

Ella was moved and she started crying. This I know, But how do I say it to her? How do I say it to him?

Sophie took her hand. “With honesty. With love.”

Ella's decision was made. Yes, she decided she would tell Alexander the truth, regardless of what the consequence. Thereof, she set a date to meet him at the park, a more secluded place than the park can best be described as the greenery outside town.

Her heart palpated in anticipation, then grew still as she neared the park where the rendezvous with Alexander was at. The foliage rustled, twirling in yellow and orange beauty around the tree wherever he waited for her on the bench. His company was a source of consolation and, at the same time, it made her recall the hidden fact.

Alexander, Ella said brightly, but her voice quivered slightly.

He got up, and maintained a natural grin on his face. “I didn’t know you were here, Ella,” he greeted with a warm smile, trying to read her eyes for the answers he wanted.

They sat, and the bench was a no-man’s land of sorts in a web work of relationships that encompassed them. Ella put her hands in her lap and the words that she was going to say had formed a ball in her throat.

I wanted to tell you… tell you about that night, she said hesitating, though her eyes remained focused on the colored leaves on the ground.

Alexander could not help but sit up and take notice. “Yes?”

It is at such a moment that Ella finds herself weakening; the memory of Lily’s sparkling eyes and her sweet giggles crossing her mind. It’s only that, that night meant more to me than what I’m able to let on a dreadful truth, which she could not yet announce.

Alexander, being a man of few words, nodded, but his face showed that he was as confused as he was understanding. That was the first time it could be said that I had a memorable night, too, Ella.

They began to talk of other things, while the implication of what had occurred before lay like a spider web between them – slight and invisible, yet strong.

After arriving back at the office, Ella was once again called to Diana’s office. The editor-in-chief’s office was an office of secrets, and Diana was the key.

“Ella, you are a puzzle,” Diana stated as kindly as she could but at the same time demanding. “And still, I get the impression you are still holding back on me.”

Then the two women looked at each other, and with that look a determination glances in Ella’s eyes. “I’m trying to give you all I can give, Diana.”

Diana looked at her attentively, still wondering why there was no sound between them, as if there was a gap. “Alright, point taken for now,” she agreed, but deep inside Ella understood that it was but a lull in the war.

Sophie waited for Ella at home and there was a bottle of red wine with two wine glasses on the dining table. “You look like you need this,” Sophie said and filled each glass to the brim carefully.

Sophie sat beside her and took her hand, Ella then slowly sank into the sofa, she felt relieved with the company that Sophie had offered her. “I almost told him today,” she said, and unconsciously breathed a sigh, the heat of the wine on her chest.

Frowning slightly, Sophie said, “What stopped you?”

Ella tasted it and the smoothness of the wine helped her to calm down. Their answer is simple – and terrifying: ‘Probably fear – fear of the change.’

Sophie put her hand on top of Ella’s and turned to her, and said. > “Whenever you are ready, Ella,” Lily has a right to know the truth, and so does Alexander.

Ella felt better when Sophie said that, the confusion that had filled her head clearing up like a fog.

The days stretched to weeks and Ella saw Lily progress every day, uttering new words, walking, and these were episodes that Alexander never got to see. The guilty feeling stayed with her; it was an unwelcome feeling, though it accompanied the feeling of love she had for her daughter.

As one fine morning, Ella was offering push on swings to little Lily laughingly; thus Ella made up her mind. She would tell Alexander, not today or tomorrow but one day she would certainly tell him the truth. Since there were secrets that individuals could not bear alone and truths that needed to be spoken out.