3- Are you upset

"Say something," Oliver plays with my hair as he still has my hand over his chest. He's touching my face tenderly and unlike before when I'll shiver from our spark, now I shiver in fear.

For three years, he put up an act. He must've had a blast watching me fool myself.

My God! All the nights I whisper how much I love him as he makes love to my body-- he must've laughed his ass off on his way to work the next day.

"Shall we go get dinner and then tomorrow we search for a bigger place?" He suggests in all his cruelty and I'm clenching my other fist.

" Or do you want to take this someplace else?" He draws closer to me, placing his hand on my cheek as he leans in for a kiss. "I want to fuck you so badly tonight till you squirt all over the sheets-"

"Don't fucking touch me!" I push him away with all my strength, trembling as I hug my arms. I feel exposed to his watchful eyes.

"Don't touch me," I whisper, holding his shocked gaze. "I don't want to be with you anymore-"

"The answer is no," he replies coldly, his tone dripping with impatience.

I have a feeling I should hold my tongue but I can't stand being here any longer, "I wasn't asking. I'm done-"

"Then pay me back," he says to my shock.

"What?" My limbs go weak at his words.

"You heard me. Pay me back every penny I've spent on Lucia."

He speaks my mother's name with a familiarity that is concerning, like they've been acquainted but the only time he's seen her was when I took him to the hospital. She was still in a coma, she still is.

"No, that's not... That's not the deal," where will I get the money? Her monthly bills cost about eight grand! Multiply that by twelve then by three years. That's a whole lot of debt. Even if I were to sell my kidney, I wouldn't be able to raise that sum.

"And breaking this apart isn't the deal. The only one who gets to call the shots around here is me," I've never seen such a fierce and fiery look in all my life. I'd be dead if he could burn me to the ground.

Why wouldn't he just let me go? He doesn't love me. He never has and never will. I just want to breathe for the first time in three years.

Only Oliver is capable of turning love into misery because I've never felt a love so miserable in all my years.

"Gold digger," I lower my head as my heart rate increases in anger and my face feels hot. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, cry in the middle of the road and pull my hair out.

I feel cheated. It's unfair.

I always thought one day he would come to love me but I'm having a hard time dealing with this realisation.

" A fucking pet! A cheap prostitute scores Billionaire CEO, Europe's most eligible Bachelor. No degree, no status, nothing to her name," I lift my teary eyes to his face as I repeat some of the harsh comments I've had to endure all these years because of him.

With a tight face, he says, "It'll blow over. The wedding will give them something else to focus on."

I can feel my world crashing down. I want to scream and yell at him, the betrayal pierces my heart and stabs my guts but I'm scared, scared of what'll happen to my mother.

A little voice wants me to give up, it's been years, she's showing no signs of waking up. If I let her go, he'll have nothing to hold over me.

I've said it before that my mother will never be collateral damage... I'm numb and in shock. I don't know what to do.

"When will you get married?" My voice is shaky and tiny, I feel invisible just like how he has painted me to be.

"I don't know. The date hasn't been set yet. We can go house hunting tomorrow but... You'll have to be in the shadows. Since news of my engagement is already out, they'll believe we're getting separated-"

"Which is what we should be doing," I tried to tell him.

"That's not anyone's decision to make but mine," he's standing before me again reaching for my hands and I shiver when he holds me. The tears rolled down my cheeks effortlessly, my heart weeping in his bitter sweet embrace.

His hands unzip my dress, sliding into my gown caressing and holding my skin so passionately as he kisses my neck. "Are you upset?"

Upset is an insult to what I feel. I don't even have the right to be upset. I am ashamed, I am hurt, I am bruised, I am in chains and unable to breathe without the reality of my stuck up position choking meaning.

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

Love me.

Choose me.

Want me.

Need me.

"If there's anything you want, I'll get it or do you want us to do it raw tonight? I know you like that. What are the chances that you'll get pregnant for me?"

Whenever he says that, my heart always does a flip but today, it's different. Can I really raise a child in this loveless pretentious contract relationship?

No, tonight is all about me.

"I want you... to cum inside me tonight," I'm trembling with a clenched fist as I make my demand. "All night long."

If he won't give me his love, he can as well give me a part of him.