Chapter 42: Feeling Jealous

Megan's POV

I found it so hard to chew my food as I was sitting in front of my ex-boyfriend, who had done nothing but torture my heart for eight years. I would be lying if I said that I never dreamed of this moment—to be with him. I know deep in my heart, even if I hate him, I am still longing to be with Ashton, and I know it is craziness because what he has done to me is unforgivable. Loving him all through these years has made me feel so miserable.

I could tell that Alice and Zach were doing their best to have a lively conversation, and they both wanted us to join them, but it seems Ashton and I have a silent war. And it is obvious we are both afraid of whatever will come out of our mouths, because I can't deny the attraction we feel for each other, and I am so scared to be alone with him even for a minute because I can feel it in my core—I will give in to the needs that I feel.

I could no longer stop thinking about how wonderful it is to be in his arms and to experience again those hot kisses we shared in the treehouse of his grandpa's estate. I wanted to go stargazing again with him and our son, and I hated myself for even thinking those things when I knew Ashton was already engaged. Can I do it even if I know I will be hurting again?

Well, I have been hurting every day for eight years now, and I think it is excellent, even for once, to make myself happy. And I know Ashton will always be the only person who can give me absolute happiness, and I know this is madness, but I am willing to be mad for three days to experience those moments again. I can tell that one kiss from Ashton will make all the pain I have felt in my heart go away.

I wanted to thank him after he saved me from stumbling on the ground earlier today, but now that I am facing him, it seems I have lost my voice. His intense gaze gives me shivers down my spine, and I can't stop the loud thumping of my heart. I want to tell him to stop staring at my face, but it seems tonight I have lost the courage to speak with him—maybe it was because of the photo album he left in my home. I couldn't believe he kept our photos together, and it brings back old memories I shared with him, especially the hot nights that haunted me for eight years.

And when I raised my head, I found him still looking at me. It felt like we were the only ones in the dining hall as I stared at him; this time, I didn't look away. I was gazing at his handsome face, and I realized nothing had changed about his physical appearance—I think he has become even more attractive.

His lips became fuller, and I wanted to have a taste, even for once. His compelling eyes are still looking at me with the same intensity, and I wished Ashton would make the first move again, like he did when he first approached me. Back then, my ex made my peaceful world chaotic, and then he broke my heart. How can I forget about him when he gave me the most precious gift—our twins?

We only stopped staring at each other when we heard Zachary and Alice clearing their throats. I could feel my face turn so warm, and I hated myself that even now, I still blush so easily. I could see the broad smile on Ashton's face as he looked at me one more time before focusing on eating his food.

I could feel my heart skip a beat, and I realized that kind of smile still had the same effect on me. I tried to keep my head down, but because of my embarrassment, I stood up, excused myself, and looked for a restroom since I needed to compose myself.

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard Alice ask me with tenderness, and I could feel the worry in her voice.

"Yes, I am okay, Al," I said as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I could still see the blush that crept onto my cheeks. I splashed some water on my face and couldn't believe she had followed me right away. I wanted to ask her to go back to our table when I heard someone speak inside the stall.

"I couldn't believe I would see Ashton and Zachary here. They are adorable in person, especially Ashton, and I wonder if the rumor is true that he broke up with his fiancée," the woman said, and Alice and I looked at each other.

"Maybe it is true. Did you see how Ashton was staring at his date? She is such a lucky girl for getting Ashton's interest. He will always be my long-time crush," the other woman responded.

"Well, his date is gorgeous as hell. Did you see her face and body? She looks like an angel, and she is so beautiful even without makeup. I think she is non-showbiz," the first woman declared. My face turned redder, and Alice was smiling like an idiot. I held her wrist and pulled her with me so we could get out of the restroom.

"Wow! I didn't know my best friend is an angel. I wonder why those girls can see your wings and I can't," she said, and I laughed.

"Would you stop it, Al?" I said as we made our way back to our table. I think my face became even redder. I wanted to calm myself, and I couldn't believe those girls were talking about Ashton and me. I realized I had so many rivals in Ashton's life—celebrities and even ordinary women were crushing on him. I suddenly felt jealous, and when we arrived at our table, I couldn't stop myself from feeling so frustrated.

"Hey, are you okay, Meg?" His deep masculine voice made me look at him, and I tried to give him a weak smile as I nodded my head.

"Can I talk to you later?" he asked, and I could feel all the nerves in my body come alive. I thought he would never ask.

"Sure," was all I could reply, since I felt so excited about talking with him. I don't think I could finish eating my food while looking forward to seeing him later. I could tell Ashton's mood changed when I agreed to talk with him; he was now talking with Alice and Zach, but he still kept stealing glances at me.

"Did you receive the invitation for our high school batch reunion?" Ashton asked us, and I nodded while Alice said yes.

"Are you two coming?" Zachary inquired.

"I am excited to attend the reunion, but I am still waiting for Megan's decision, and you know she is my boss. I couldn't be there if she doesn't come," she said, and I hated her for doing this now.

"You should attend the reunion, Meg. It would be fun, and I heard you became so busy after starting your business. You have to find time for yourself, Meg," Zach declared. I looked at him while, out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ashton looking at me. They were all waiting for my response.

"We are launching our new collection, and I don't want our schedule to be delayed," I responded.

"I hope you can attend, Meg," Ashton said, and the way he called me Meg made me feel so heady. I wondered why I was feeling this way tonight.

"I will think about it," I responded, and I wanted to cover my mouth right away. How could I say that? I was so determined not to come, and six words coming from my ex made me change my mind? I think it was because of the trees surrounding us that I am feeling this way. It seems I can no longer control myself.

I can feel the loud pounding of my heart in my chest as I realize that dinner is over, and I can't tell Ashton now that I don't want to speak with him. We all stood up, and when Ashton offered his hand to me, I hesitated, but I found most females were looking in our direction. To tell them to back off, I gladly took his warm hand, and I couldn't deny the electricity that traveled from my fingertips to my spine. I can no longer lie to myself—I still feel the same toward him.

When I raised my head, I saw Zach and Alice already outside the door, and I walked beside Ashton, feeling so excited about where he would take me. I was amazed when he brought me to the garden. I hadn't come to this place yet, and I realized they made the place ideal for couples because I could only see seats good for two.

They put colorful lights around the garden, and it made the ambiance more romantic. I could see a fountain at the center of the park, and as we walked closer to the middle, I realized there were fish in the pond surrounding the fountain.

And when Ashton found the perfect spot for us, away from everyone, he stopped walking and faced me. I could feel the rapid beating of my heart as he pulled me closer to him, and I was at his mercy tonight.

When he leaned down and captured my lips, instead of slapping and pushing him away, I curled my hands around his neck and kissed him back hungrily. I could feel fireworks around us when he deepened the kiss, and I realized how much I missed Ashton Pritzgold.