EPILOUGE

”Rose, get down here, breakfast is ready!”

”Coming, mom!”

A pair of skin-tight ripped jeans and a cropped t-shirt. Perfect.

I giddily slipped on my outfit of the day and put my hair in a high ponytail. The jeans hugging my broad hips nicely as the t-shirt hugged my waist, showing off my hourglass figure.

Some lip gloss, blush, and mascara too tie everything together, and then,

”Perfect,” I gushed as I stared into the mirror.

”Took you long enough,” my mother jokingly scolded as I came into the kitchen.

”Is that pancakes I smell?” I said, ignoring her statement.

”Only the best for my babies first day,” I shrugged her off as she gripped my head gave me a kiss on the cheek.

”Boundaries mom, I’m not a baby anymore,”

”You certainly aren’t,” she said sadly.

I looked at her and took her hands In mine. My mother was my entire world, I never knew my father as he walked out on us before I was born. My mother had raised me all on her own. She never bothered finding another man, she said she was content with her life and didn’t want the unnecessary drama of a man.

”Everything will be fine mom, I promise. It’s just high school,”

”Your last year at high school,” My mother corrected. She wiped away a tear and started piling pancakes on my plate.

I watched her every move, my eyes glancing up at her face occasionally. Seeing her sad, whatever the reason, always broke my heart.

”I’m okay sweetheart,” she said and kissed my hands before putting my plate down in front of me.

I dug in right away and started dreaming away, wondering what my senior year would be like.

There was cheerleading, the yearbook, and occasional event planning.

I had a lot of things on my plate, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I liked keeping busy and anything that could give me extra credit, I took.

”I have a little present,” My mother said and I immediately stiffened.

”Mom you shouldn't have-” I started off. Knowing how tight on funds we were I didn't want her to spend anything on me.

”Oh hush up you, I do and I did,” She said, giving me a glare before she walked over to the counter, picking up a blue little box from her purse.

Her torn hair, which was once blonde, long and luscious, fell in a low ponytail.

”Here you go," She said with a smile and took a seat.

Her hand went to her heart and I was on her right away.

”Mom are you-”

”I’m fine sweetheart, open your gift,” I looked at her alarmed but did as she asked.

I opened to box and in it laid a beautiful gold pendant with a red stone embedded in the middle.

I smiled as I took it out and held it up in front of me.

”A rose,” I breathed out.

”A beautiful rose, for my beautiful Rose,” She cooed and helped me put it around my neck.

She clasped it and I heard her heavy breathes as she stroked the back of my head.

I quickly wiped away a few stray tears, biting my inner cheek to keep the others at bay.

She came back and was about to take a seat when the phone started ringing.

I gave her a quick smile and then stuffed my face with pancakes, drowning my sadness with food.

I saw how her expression changed, her face wrinkled and her mouth was left open. Her hand came up to her chest once more and she clung to the necklace around her neck. It was a small silver pendant, of two hearts intertwining. I had gotten it for her for Christmas four years ago and she wore it every day since.

She hung up the phone a took a few deep breaths. I slowly lowered my fork down and dug my nails into my palm.

’Do not cry’ I told myself. Over and over again.

”Mom,” I called for her. She stared at the phone, unresponsive.

I pushed my chair back, slowly standing up.

I padded my shirt, nipping at the hem. It was an involuntary defense mechanism I had whenever things got tough.

I walked over to her and placed a hand on my mother's shoulder. She jumped and then plastered on her famous fake smile, raising a wall that she was so used to keeping up.

”Don’t,” I said and grabbed her hand in mine.

”Not with me,” I led her back to the table. Watching as her wall slowly came down, or crumbling down, I couldn't tell.

”Was it the doctor?” I asked her. I tried keeping my voice as steady as possible.

”I don't want to bother you with this sweetheart, not today,” I squeezed her hand gently, staring into her eyes, my best smile was plastered on my face.

”Was it the doctor?” I repeated.

”It was, the test result wasn’t what we had hoped for,” She had a coy smile, trying her best to seem strong for her daughter.

”The cancer is back?” I asked her, my face falling for a millisecond before I pulled it together.

My mother nodded her head, sadness, and fear evident in her entire being.

”We’ll get through this mom, we always do,” I pulled her in for a hug. A long, tight hug.

All the while planning on how I would make this better, how I would pay for her treatments, and how I would earn enough money to pay the expenses of the house and food.

”Stop that,” she scolded and pulled away. She gripped my shoulders and stared me down in my seat. That certain stare only a mother can give.

”Don't do what?” I asked her innocently. 

”You will do nothing Rose. You will go to school and live your life like a normal kid, that's what I want for you,” She caressed my cheek and placed a kiss on my head.

’Don’t cry’

”Speaking of which,” She said and got up. My mother held out her hand for me which I grabbed.

”It’s time to go,” She gave me another kiss and a big hug. One that didn't give me the same comfort they usually did. This hug did something different, it filled me with unease and a shivering feeling to my bones.

It felt like one of those hugs you give to someone that you're not sure you will see again.

”I love you, sweetheart,” She said as I walked out of the door.

”I love you too, mama,”