The Calm After the Wreckage

“Joseph said that if I didn’t get a divorce and have this baby, he’d kill himself. You know how crazy he can be. I don’t have a choice. He’s the father, after all–”

The voice on the other end of the phone stopped abruptly after I said the words “end it for good.”

Sarah York paused for a long while, as if she hadn’t heard me clearly, before she asked, “Dan, what did you just say? What do you mean by ending it for good?”

I picked up a seashell and rubbed it in my palm as I replied, “Is it that hard to understand, Sarah? What I mean is: once we’re divorced, it’s over between us. There’ll be no ‘after the baby’ and no remarrying.”

“Why?”

Her tone immediately shifted.

“Are you speaking out of anger again? Didn’t I promise you? As soon as I give birth and settle things with Joseph, I’ll cut all ties with him immediately. I’ll come back, we’ll remarry, and we’ll live happily ever after… Dan, can’t you just trust me one last time?”

I had, in fact, trusted her.

At our wedding, when she said she would love me for the rest of her life, I trusted her. When my grandmother and I emptied our savings to support her startup, and she said she would make sure we lived a good life, I trusted her.

When I was battling depression and attempted suicide, and she promised she would break things off with Joseph Greer, I trusted her then, too. Yet every single time, reality would prove me otherwise, just like right now.

Barely ten minutes after hanging up the phone, Joseph posted on his feed.

[As soon as that ex agreed to the divorce, she rushed over with a diamond ring to propose. Baby, your mommy loves us so much!]

Attached was a maternity photo of Sarah, with Joseph’s hand on her baby bump, a sickeningly tender look in his eyes.

If this were in the past, I probably would’ve raged like a madman, cursing them with the vilest words imaginable. However, right now, my heart was calm.

I even liked the post and left a comment.

[Wishing you two a lifetime of happiness.]

After all, we ran in the same social circles and shared plenty of mutual friends.

The moment I posted that comment, several friends who knew the truth immediately came to my defense. Before long, my phone buzzed again, with Sarah’s name lighting up the screen.

“Dan, did you see Joseph’s post?” Without waiting for my answer, she rushed to explain, “Joseph didn’t mean anything by that post. He wasn’t trying to make you mad. He’s just… He hasn’t been very emotionally stable lately.

“You know how expectant fathers can be sensitive and overthink. I was just afraid he might do something drastic, which is why I bought the ring to calm him down.”

Only after laying all that groundwork did she soften her tone to get to her real point.

“The doctor stressed over and over that the baby needs their father around at birth. Dan, please delete that comment and like. Don’t lower yourself to his level.”

She’d rather beg me to delete my comment than tell Joseph to take down that sickening post. However, I didn’t answer, nor did I delete it.

In the end, Sarah was the first to yield under the silence. She let out a sigh, pulling out that same old line I was sick of hearing.

“Please don’t be upset, alright? I’ve sent Benji to pick up your favorite takeout, and he’ll bring it over to you in a bit. Be good and wait just a little longer… Once the baby is born, all of this will be in the past, and we’ll go right back to the way we were before, okay?”

Listening to her empty promises as she painted a picture of a fictitious future, I suddenly laughed.

“No.”

The evening ocean breeze felt a bit chilly, and my voice carried a trace of coldness to match.

“Sarah, what on earth makes you think I’d ever go back to the way we were?”

Long ago, when she cheated on me time and time again, when she held her lover in her arms and swore her love to him, we were already past the point of going back.