CHAPTER 12: What Jessica Might Have Heard

Jane’s POV

Jane sat cross-legged on Rebecca’s bed, phone balanced against her knee, replaying the same twelve seconds of video for the fourth time. Rebecca lounged against the headboard, filing her nails as the whole thing bored her.

“You’re gonna wear a hole in my screen,” Rebecca said. Why don’t you send it to yourself already? She then asked

“I can’t believe he actually says your name like that.” Jane laughed, but it came out thinner than she meant it to. “You weren’t lying; he does have a big dick. I’m so ashamed of how badly I want to feel it stretching me out.”

“I don’t lie about dick, Jane. I lie about everything else.”

“Comforting much.” Jane set the phone face down for a second, studying Rebecca instead. “How many times has it happened? Actually happened, not the version you tell me.”

“Does it matter?”

“It matters to me. I should know everything you do when nobody’s looking; I’m your best friend”

Rebecca set the nail file down with a sigh, as the question cost her something. “So many times that I stopped counting. There! Happy now?”

A knock rattled the door before either of them could say more. Jessica’s voice came muffled through the wood.

“Jane, you in there? Mrs. Hartwell wants formations redone before Friday.”

Jane fumbled the phone face-down onto the comforter as it had burned her. “One second! Do you think she heard us? She whispered to Rebecca.”

“I don’t know!” Rebecca whispered back with a giggle and a grin stretched across her face.

Jane opened the door just enough to slip through, leaving Rebecca alone with her nail file and her secrets. Jessica stood in the hallway with her arms crossed, something unreadable behind her eyes.

“You’ve been in there a lot lately,” Jessica said. “You and Rebecca. People are starting to say things.”

“What people?”

“Just people. Someone said they saw you both leaving Daniel’s old apartment building last week. I told them they were wrong. Were they?”

Jane’s stomach dropped somewhere near her shoes. “Of course they were. They were dead wrong.”

“Yeah. I figured that much.” Jessica studied her face a beat too long before turning to go, ponytail swinging behind her. “New formations, Friday. Don’t forget. And Jane? If something’s going on, you can tell me. I’m not gonna go running my mouth; you already know that too.”

“Nothing’s going on, sweetie. If something was actually going on, you’d probably be the first to hear about it, if not Rebecca.”

“Okay, sure. See you at practice!” Jessica didn’t sound convinced, but she let it drop and walked off toward the stairwell.

Jane shut the door and pressed her back against it, heart going harder than it had any right to for a lie that was, technically, true. Rebecca hadn’t moved from the bed; she was still nonchalantly just filing her nails like she had no worries whatsoever about anything.

“She knows something; I can see it in her eyes,” Jane said.

“She knows nothing. That little loyal hoe is fishing.” Rebecca set down the nail file and looked up, and for once her face didn’t have its usual armor on it. “Can I tell you something you’re gonna hate?”

“When have I ever stopped you?”

“Jackson’s been weird since the hospital thing. Distant. I think he suspects there’s more than just him.”

Jane sat back down slowly. “More than just him, who else would there be?”

“Just more. He asked me last week if I was seeing anyone else; I told him no.” Rebecca picked the nail file back up, avoiding Jane’s eyes now. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I’m unsettlingly bothered by the way he has been drifting away from me.”

“Because you’re scared of losing your water boy,” Jane said. It was meant as a joke, but it landed heavier than either of them expected.

“He’s not just-“ Rebecca stopped herself, jaw tight, and shook her head like she was shaking off a thought she didn’t want to finish out loud. “Forget it, let’s just watch the video again.”

“No, you’re gonna tell me.” Jane pulled her knees up to her chest instead, the video forgotten on the comforter between them. “You actually have feelings for him; that’s what this is. Isn’t it?”

“I have feelings for a lot of people; that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Rebecca, you’ve never once asked me to keep a secret about a guy before; you brag about them, you send me screenshots. This time you’re hiding your phone from me.”

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I’ve learned my lesson about bragging?”

“Or maybe this one’s actually real, and you’re scared of what that means when you’re also the reason your best friend is sitting on your bed with video evidence of you and him clapping cheeks.”

Rebecca didn’t answer that. She picked the nail file back up, turned it over twice in her fingers like it might give her something better to say, and set it down again without using it.

“Drop it, Jane.” For the first time since Jane had known her, Rebecca’s voice cracked at the edges, just slightly, before she caught herself and smoothed it back into boredom. “We were talking about your problem, remember? Jessica’s not stupid; she figures something is up if you yourself figure that she does, and girls know girls don’t congregate for no reason. Plus there have already been rumors on my name.”

“So what do I do, or better yet, what will you do?”

“You/wee get better at lying and keeping our mouths shut, or we stop giving her reasons to ask questions.” Rebecca stood and looked at her mirror, checking her reflection like the conversation was already over. “Skip practice less, show up early, smile more. People stop looking for cracks in something that looks solid.”

“That’s not a plan, Rebecca, that’s a performance.”

“Everything’s a performance; we’re cheerleaders, Jane. You’ve just never had to work at yours before, “Coach.” Rebecca turned from the mirror, arms crossed now, something almost sad flickering behind the usual bravado. “You think because you’re the captain and coach, because everybody already likes you, that the rules are different for you; they’re not. You slip up once, and this campus will eat you alive just as fast as it would eat me.”

“Is that a threat? You sound a bit off about all this”

“It’s a warning, a direction. There’s a difference.” Rebecca sat back down on the edge of the bed, quieter now. “I’m the slut here, I know what it costs, I know how high the stakes can be.”

Jane didn’t reach for the phone this time. She sat with her knees pulled to her chest, thinking about Jessica’s face in the hallway, about how easy it had been to lie, about how good she was getting at it. But what if somewhere on the other side of campus, a rumor with her name on it was finally finding new ears, and she had no idea which direction it would come from when it finally found her? How would she adjust to having to face the music by the time it did…