All my vulnerable woe fleets away into panic as I realize what Jake intends to do. Jake boxes and practices martial arts as a fitness regime and he used to be a scrapper in his teens, always in trouble. I know he’s a fighter, but I’m still beyond terrified. Ray and Jake are equally matched in body size, almost in height and definitely in aggression so there’s no telling what the outcome will be, and I can’t bear it.
I run after him screaming his name manically; he’s much faster than I am and he’s already out of the building tearing off in the direction of a lone figure walking in the distance. Jake can run like the wind. I can’t even begin to catch up, throwing my stilettos off and proceeding barefoot, my body shedding adrenaline fast and I get a cramp in my leg so badly I fall. Panic sears through me as I try to get up, they’re too far from me to really see what’s happening but the figures have collided. They’re a jumIn the apartment we sit drinking coffee, we don’t talk about what happened, instead, I tell him about Sophie and that I want to help her. I can’t tell him why without explaining about my mother’s injuries. I know that if I tell him Ray is the reason she’s in the hospital he will go back out and find him, drag him to the police station or worse and I know it’s pointless. My mother will never point a finger at him. I already know that she won’t even break up with him after what he’s done. She’ll be angry at me for letting Jake beat him.Such is the twisted logic of my mother.“Isn’t that what your mother does?” he asks gently. I watch him carefully, realizing I’m still scanning his face and hands for injuries obsessively. I’ve been doing it since we walked into the apartment and I still can’t rest at seeing no evidence of any, aside some bruised knuckles. He’s indestructible, like a her
I wake early next morning, completely entangled in Jake’s limbs on my side of the bed, lying on my back. He’s wrapped around me possessively. One arm around my waist, pulling me into his abdomen so that his face is in the nape of my neck, the other behind me. His arm is bent so his fingers are entwined in my hair above. His legs looped through mine and twisted so I’m immobile in every way and I am stiflingly hot because he’s so naturally warm. I try to maneuver out of his grasp, but my efforts only cause him to pull me in tighter, making it near impossible to get out.Who knew Jake was a cuddler in bed? More like a squeezer; suffocates all life out of you.Although part of my brain isn’t surprised because he’s so hands-on and touchy-feely in every part of waking life that I guess being this way in sleep is a given. I lay still, staring at the dark ceiling for a moment listening to the heaviness of his deep breathing. He seems so peaceful
He’s dreaming and acting out in his slumber; sleep walking in a way. I’m confused, disappointed, but also relieved and yet conflicted. He’ll never know what we did, he’ll have no memory of it. I’m not sure if I want this or not. I have no clue what the hell I’m doing, or even thinking.I think about kissing him again, trying to rouse him properly, but don’t. Instead, I slide free and get out of bed, aware of how close I just was to screwing everything up with him. Despite being completely captive to how kissing him felt, as though I’ve broken some line of trust, that I abused him in his sleep, and it makes me feel disgusting and vile. No better than my mother’s perverted lovers and what they did to me. I climb out of bed and get up quickly, in a rush to put distance between us and cool my overheated senses.I wander to the sitting room, shaking. Unsure what to feel. I’m angry and so confused.Why would I kiss
“I want a second take so I can at least say I remember that time I made out with you in my sleep.” His husky voice sends tremors through my stomach. I wriggle free and he lets me go, grinning wildly. He tilts his head boyishly. “At least this time you’re smiling about it, Bella.” I turn to look at him knowing my face is probably puce from top to bottom, met with the relaxed easy look on his face. I shake my head and tilt it to the side to match his. His mentioning the kitchen kiss in such a blasé way makes me feel calmer. I wish I had his ability to brush things like this off so easily. Make it all out to be nothing except forgettable misdemeanors. I guess when you’ve had more bedroom romps than hot meals, it’s easy. This really is nothing to him at all.“I can’t be mad about things you do while unconscious.” I lie, fully mindful that this is all on me. A secret I’ll never tell him. He stops for a mo
Sophie spends a half hour in the room with my mother as we wait in the hall. Jake has asked me a dozen times if I’m sure about not going in and I glare at him coldly. He clamps his mouth shut and looks away. His jaw tenses in agitation, but he leaves it alone.He just doesn’t get it at all; he has no way to understand my relationship with her when his own mother is everything you could want in a parent. Kind, caring, protective, and loyal. She would move mountains for her sons and is an advocate for abused children across all states. He wouldn’t understand.My mother is the polar opposite. I spent my childhood being her carer, protector, and mother. Fighting off aggressive men she brought home. I bought my baseball bat with money from a news delivery job at eleven and I used it more than once to shield her from overly violent arguments with her current beau. Even at such an early age; my fire and rage uncontrollable. It saved me from advances so many time
Everything Sophie owns is in the car with our bags, which isn’t much. She is, after all, a runaway from a poor town and impoverished parents. One grubby and torn rucksack that’s so full the zipper is coming undone.The trip to the airfield is short and silent as we all mull things over in our heads. Jake has glanced down at his cell a ton of times and I know he’s been waiting for his mother to call back with more definite plans for Sophie. In the meantime, we have agreed that we’ll both stay at his Manhattan apartment with her until she’s placed in a safe environment through the proper channels. He has more than enough rooms for all of us. Jake feels she needs me there to feel safe as having her with him alone just doesn’t feel right to him, considering her back story. It’s not appropriate.Sophie is sitting with eyes as wide as saucers; all of this so overwhelming to her and I think, realization, is finally dawning that this is th
The day is tiring, and my hair has endlessly stuck to my face in this humidity. Vegas is hot and dusty and I’m still grumpy and tired. We flew out here right after Sophie was taken away by the care worker and Jake’s mother, Sylvana Carrero. The beautiful, kind goddess, who looks so alarmingly like her son, but in a very feminine way. I love her in every way; anytime I meet her, she has this easy charm and stunning green eyes and the ability to put you at ease, much like he does.I fought tears when hugging Sophie goodbye; our time together so short, yet she has come to mean so much to me. Jake bought her a new cell and pre-set both of our numbers and emails into it as a parting gift, that way we can always stay in touch and she knows we will be there if she needs us. We are to be her eternal guardians in life, and I know that from this day on, I will always be in Sophie’s story. We have a bond like no other. We understand each other.“Want to try th
The casino is everything I imagined it would be; I’ve watched enough episodes of CSI to not be awed at the splendor of the vast red carpeted room, filled with machines and tables and noise. He tries his luck at a few tables and soon looks bored. He’s never been much of a gambler; he likes to have situations laid out in a way that he controls the players and always wins. It’s why he’s his father’s second in command with his inherited skills. Although after the Hunter merger, I’m beginning to think his skills surpass that of Senior, seeing he knew how to play him well.“You want to hit a club instead of this?” he’s close to me and I can already tell he’s fed up with the casino. I glance at a couple of women appraising him up and down and am mildly irritated. Maybe I should point him in the direction of the two leggy blondes and go back to the room. Have my quiet night after all. Seeing them look him over like fresh meat