Chapter 4

When her work was done, Nadine picked up her small bag. She put on the cap that had fallen earlier, then ordered an online taxi to go home.

Inside the car that sped through the quiet night, she could only stare blankly at the empty road ahead. Every gust of wind reminded her of a reality she could never change.

But deep inside her heart, a faint hope remained — at least she was still breathing. That meant she could still earn money to support her family and pay for her father’s treatment.

---

Nadine lay on her narrow bed, her quiet sobs breaking the silence. Tears streamed down her face, soaking the pillow, as if every ounce of grief and shame within her was trying to escape all at once.

When her tears finally subsided, she rose unsteadily and went to the bathroom. The sound of running water filled the small space, covering her trembling frame. She washed herself again and again, trying to erase something that water could never remove. Her hands rubbed her skin until it stung, as if she could scrub away what still lingered.

But the longer she tried, the clearer it became — there was no water pure enough to wash away that pain.

After a long while, she stepped out of the bathroom. Her body was weak, her eyes swollen, her hair disheveled. She put on her nightclothes and stood before the small mirror on her desk. The reflection staring back made her breath catch.

Her cheeks were red and bruised, the side of her jaw slightly swollen. Faint marks trailed along her neck — reminders of a rough touch that had left more than physical wounds. Nadine touched her neck carefully, the pain radiating not only from her skin but from somewhere far deeper.

“I can’t go out looking like this…” she whispered to herself.

Every inch of her body ached; her head throbbed, and her vision swam. Her wrists were bruised, as if invisible hands were still holding her down. She sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the cracked ceiling, and murmured softly,

“Father… Mother… I’ll endure this. I’ll keep working so Father can continue his treatment. I’ll be strong, for both of you.”

Her eyes slowly closed. Her body still trembled, but her mind refused to give in.

That night, amidst the pain and despair, Nadine made a promise —

she would not let anything destroy her completely.

A promise whispered only to make herself feel strong.

---

The next morning, Nadine woke up weak and sore. Every movement felt like tearing open a fresh wound. She forced herself to stand and clean up again. Her gaze fell upon the mirror, and for a moment, she barely recognized herself.

But beneath the bruises, there was something else in her eyes — not just sorrow, but a faint spark of resolve.

She knew the road ahead would not be easy. Yet even though the world had stolen her dignity, she still had the will to live.

Nadine took a deep breath, looking at her reflection once more, this time with firmer eyes.

“Starting today,” she whispered, “I will not be a victim forever.”

“But how can I go to work looking like this?” she murmured, frowning. She sat for a while, thinking what to do. After a moment’s hesitation, Nadine decided to call her friend, Clara.

“Hello, Nadine,” Clara answered cheerfully.

“Clara, I’m sorry I haven’t called,” Nadine said softly. Her lips hurt with every word that left her mouth.

“Where are you? Why didn’t you come to work?” Clara’s voice sounded anxious.

Nadine went silent. Her whole body ached, especially her cheek that still burned from last night’s slap. I hope my ear isn’t damaged, she thought, gently touching her face.

She reached for the small mirror beside her bed. Her face was bruised, her lips cracked, her eyes swollen. “I can’t go to the shop looking like this,” she whispered.

“Nadine? Are you still there?” Clara’s voice rose slightly, startling her.

“Sorry, Cla… I just woke up. Um, can I take a day off?” Nadine’s voice trembled, fighting to stay steady.

“What’s wrong?” Clara asked, surprised.

“I’m just tired, Cla. Working all night was harder than I thought,” Nadine answered quietly. She covered her mouth to muffle her sobs. Tears rolled down again, unstoppable. The memories from last night flashed before her eyes — cruel, painful, uninvited.

Clara was silent for a moment before saying, “Yeah, it’s tough at first. Okay then, just rest today.”

“Thank you, Clara,” Nadine murmured softly.

“I’ll tell the boss you’re not coming in. Get some sleep, okay?”

“Thanks, Clara.” Nadine tried to sound cheerful, pretending to be fine so her friend wouldn’t worry.

“Alright, I’ll get back to work now. Bye,” said Clara before hanging up.

When the call ended, Nadine placed her phone on the bed and burst into tears once more. “Father… Mother… I miss you. If only you were here, I would hold you tight. I’m sorry, Mother… I failed to protect myself,” she whispered between sobs.

Nadine stared blankly at the ceiling, unsure of what to do. Her head throbbed, her body weak. “How do I get rid of these bruises…” she muttered, reaching for her phone to search online for home remedies.

After reading several articles, she set the phone down and slowly made her way to the bathroom. Every step sent pain through her body.

“It hurts…” she whispered when the ache flared. Her head grew heavier. She turned on the faucet, splashing her face with cold water, hoping the pain would ease even just a little.

She walked out carrying a small bucket of cold water. Dipping clean cloths into it, she began pressing them gently against her cheeks, forehead, and neck. “I hope the bruises fade soon,” she murmured, closing her eyes.

The sting spread across her skin. “Seeing a doctor would be too expensive… I don’t have enough money,” she whispered. “Payday’s still a week away. Maybe later… if the dizziness doesn’t go away, I’ll buy medicine from the store. It’s probably only five thousand rupiah.”

She pressed the cold cloth to the corner of her cracked lips and winced. “It hurts…” she whispered weakly.

---