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16: Pacified

Insanity.

If there is one word that could describe that night, it would be that word. I could not believe that I had actually brought myself to do that with Landon. I gave in. I gave my virtue to him and I could not believe that I really did that. Even when I was with Carter, we never came to that point. Or maybe Carter had just amazing self-control to step over his limits. And it was different with him before because I was a human and he needed to be careful.

But then, it was also different with Landon, a lot different because in the first place, I had no feelings for him. I did not love him the way how I loved Carter before. So what the hell pushed me to throw all my inhibitions away and go with the flow. It is very obvious that Landon just wants to play. Of course what else could be the reason why he did that? It is impossible that he developed some kind of feelings for me in those couple of weeks. And Landon is certainly not the 'f

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