Chapter 43

Zayden

   The door opened, and she came into view. She had her eyes on the floor, avoiding eye contact.

   I watched as she climbed on the bed and under the covers without saying a word.

I expected her to Interrogate me, as other people would.

But she just lay there pretending to be asleep. I clenched my fists; my first thought was that she would end the contract after all; no sane woman would want to marry someone like me.

I overheard her conversation with Aiden. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I got tired of waiting for her to come to bed, so I went out to find her.

  He wasn't lying though. I did eighty per cent of what he told her, it was only left for her to believe it or not.

I knew Aiden would do this, everything was in the past. He was supposed to keep his mouth shut.

I sighed, closing my laptop and joining her in bed.

I felt her stiffen.

She was scared of me.

I opened my mouth to speak but closed it right back. What the fuck was I supposed to say?...... I'm sorry I killed my mother and some kids. I only did it because it felt satisfying.

I rolled my eyes. That would only make it worse.

"Lillian," I called but she didn't respond.

I still had to apologize for today. If only I had listened to my inner voice and not acted recklessly. In the end, Helena sabotaged everything.

To everyone, she lost her job and was in her home, sulking away, but to me, she was locked in a place where she couldn't see the sunlight.

Helena was too stupid to act on her own and I'll make her spill the mastermind behind her plans.

Lillian shifted." I know you're not asleep."

She cleared her throat." I'm trying to sleep."

Her voice was distant. There was this strange ache in my chest.

" I'm sorry for today," I spoke.

She remained quiet.

I bite down on my lips." I said I'm sorry."

She sat up immediately, her eyes blazing." Is that what you're going to keep saying? Anytime you hurt me, you'll apologize and you think everything will go back to normal?"

I sighed." I know, I'm trying okay!"

She snapped, her face turning red." You are not! Because if you were then you would have walked away."

The first tear slid down her cheeks. She wasn't crying because I hurt her, she was crying because of what she saw.

I don't know what Aiden showed her or told her after they left the balcony, but the Lillian right here was not the same Lillian at dinner.

I hesitated before speaking."It's not that simple, I can't control it. I'm trying but I can't."

She shook her head. I don't like the look in her eyes. I also do not like the discomfort in my chest.

"If it happens again, you won't get a second chance." She lay down again and covered herself up with the sheets.

"Just give me time," I whispered.

She didn't respond. I released a frustrated sigh and left the room. She wouldn't understand, no one ever does.

         

By the time I returned, she was fast asleep. I went over to the bedside table and popped two pills in my mouth.

  I lay in bed, waiting for the drug to kick in.

Lilian moved and a soft whimper left her lips. I turned to face her and found her trembling slightly.

" Lillian?" I called softly, gently touching her.

Her body was cold, and her muscles tensed.

I sat upright, moving closer to her side and then flipping her to lie on her back.

Her cheeks were wet, and the trembling of her limbs had increased.

" Lillian!" I shook her but she didn't respond.

  Don't tell me she was having another seizure.

I was proven right because the next second, she began jerking uncontrollably. Soft whimpers living her lips. Her body was stiff and she was clenching her teeth with her eyes closed.

I panicked, the doctor said to first turn her to her side, with her mouth facing down. Then time the length of the seizure.

I cursed. My phone was on the nightstand. I was terrified that if I let her out of my hold, she'd fall to the ground like the last time.

It was hard putting her on her side because her limbs wouldn't stop shaking.

"Lillian, calm down; you'll be fine." I don't know if she could hear me, but the doctor said to whisper words of encouragement. It may help her relax.

I remembered the him saying to loosen any tight clothing. I couldn't tell if her night dress was tight or not so I just took off all her clothes.

" You'll get through this, you'll be okay," I whispered, hoping she'd hear me.

I put a pillow on her back and rushed to pick up my phone.

   I waited, staring at the timer. I was beginning to feel dizzy, the drugs were kicking in.

Fuck! I can't fall asleep now. Not until she has regained consciousness.

As much as I wanted to close my eyes, I remained awake, waiting for her seizure to end.

It was hard but I managed.

    Ten minutes later, she stopped jerking, and the next two minutes her eyes slowly fluttered open.

I raised her gently till she was lying on my lap. She looked around before gazing up at me.

I sighed in relief."You're okay." I whispered, my eyelids incredibly heavy.

She frowned and then looked down at her naked body.

Her breathing escalated." What did you do to me."

" I didn't....." I paused.

She struggled to get up. I reached out to help her, but she slapped my hands away.

" Don't touch me !" She snarled.

I sighed." You shouldn't move around too much."

She didn't listen to me. She grabbed her clothes which I had tossed on the floor.

" What did you do to me!" She yelled again.

I stood up, walking over to her." Lillian, calm down. I didn't......"

I didn't get to finish my statement when her hands connected with my cheek.

I gritted my teeth.

" Why the hell did I wake up naked!" She yelled.

I ran a hand through my hair." Because I took off your clothes."

She gasped, horror written all over her face.

I stared at her. Why does she always think the worst of me?

" Lillian, I didn't......"

She slapped me again, "Get away from me."

She rushed past me, tears running down her face.

" Lillian wait.....it's not what you think."

She didn't listen and just slammed the door in my face.