Chapter 46

Lillian

 

  I zipped up my bag, placing my headset over my ears. Despite my loud music, their grunts and moans still echoed throughout the air.

  I was used to this, I agreed to this. We had a deal, so it shouldn't bother me, yet here I was feeling every bit of miserable.

I stood in front of the room, with my backpack on my shoulders, waiting for them to finish their rounds.

  That slapping sound and deep groans made my core quake. I wasn't jealous, I was angry. Angry that I had to endure this because I couldn't fend for myself, angry that I had to make a deal with the devil to survive.

The door swung open, and I didn't notice until there was a bump on my head.

" Move aside!" She pushed me away from the door, her naked body coming into view.

Her golden hair was a mess, her makeup smudged with her juices pooling down her legs.

She had no shame, prostitutes had no shame. She was disgusting and reeked of the aftermath of unholy sex.

"Change the sheets before nightfall; it's gross." She spoke, tossing over her skimpy clothes on her slender body.

Tyrell walked out of the room with just a towel wrapped around his lower body. He tossed a bundle of Cash at her and she giggled.

" Till next week." His voice roared and she picked up her purse and hopped happily away.

He turned to face me." Isn't it too early?"

I was incapable of expressing emotions." I have a test coming up, I need to pay up my tuition."

He scrutinized me, then walked into his room. He returned soon after with a bundle of cash.

" Here you go."

I whispered a thank you and turned to leave. At least he paid my tuition f*e. Thomas barely fed me, he should have left me at the orphanage. I wouldn't be in this position If he did.

" Wait, are you just going to leave like that, little bird?" He scoffed.

I turned around and went on my knees. It was already a routine, something I had to do to or I would be punished.

I kissed his feet, saying the words he had imprinted in my memory." I belong to you and no one else."

He ran a hand through my hair, pulling me to my feet so I could face him. My scalp hurt but I kept a straight face.

" And why do you belong to me?" His voice was low.

I didn't look in his eyes, it's against the rules." Because am worthless, no one wants a worthless girl like me except you."

He nodded, satisfaction written all over his face." Who loves you?"

I made the mistake of looking up. My eyes met his mismatched ones and I immediately regretted it.

He knocked my head against the door twice, a soft cry leaving my lips. I could taste the metallic taste of blood from my burst lip.

" Who loves you!" He asked again.

My lips quivered." No one except you."

He smiled." And why is that?"

I swallowed," Because I'm not worthy of love, including the one you selflessly show me. I don't deserve it, a worthless and pathetic girl like me deserves only suffering."

He patted my head." Off to college now, make me proud."

My steps were wobbly but I managed to exit the house, my face devoid of any emotion and my heart as hard as stone.

*******

Worthless, pathetic, worthless.

Worthless, pathetic, worthless.

Worthless pathetic, worthless.

Worthless pathetic, worthless.

Worthless pathetic, worthless.

The voices were becoming loud, so loud that immediately I snapped my eyes open.

My vision was blurred at first, but within seconds, I could see clearly.

  The first thing I noticed was a white ceiling and then I looked around to take in my surroundings.

" You're awake! thank goodness." Jade gasped, her cheeks were wet from tears.

I sat up." Jade?"

She wiped her cheeks but more tears kept falling." You had an accident, I was so scared."

The pieces started coming back into place. Zayden and I were at the studio, then in the car and then there was another car coming at us, and then everything blacked out. That means, me going to college and that disgusting woman was another dream. More like my suppressed memory coming back to me.

I sighed heavily, at least I didn't wake up with a scar today.

" I can't fully remember." My voice cracked.

Jade sobbed." I'm just thankful you don't have any injuries, just a few scratches. The last time you had an accident, I thought you'd never wake up."

It then occurred to me that I wasn't particularly feeling any pain. I scrutinized my body.

There were bandaids on my elbow and cheek. Apart from that, nothing more.

That meant Zayden wouldn't be hurt as well.

" Where is zayden?" I asked.

She stopped sobbing, her eyes softened.

My heart raced." Where is he?"

Jade bit down on her lips." The ICU."

My lips quivered, terror ripping through my rib cage. I scrambled off the bed and to my feet.

" I want to see him, take me there." I gasped. A million terrible scenarios flashed before my eyes.

Jade grabbed my hand." You have to rest first, think about him later."

I slapped her hand away." No, I want to see him, Now!"

Just then Aiden walked in.

" Lillian, you should be resting!" He scolded.

I ran over to him." Zayden, I want to see him. Please."

His expression fell." You can't."

My eyes were beginning to sting." Why not?"

" He's still in surgery."

It felt like my heart stopped beating. Why was he in surgery while I was unharmed?

We waited and waited, till finally the doctor came to inform us that Zayden was out of surgery.

I rushed down to the ICU immediately, and at the sight of him, I broke down.

"The paramedics pulled you out from underneath him. It was a gruesome sight." The doctor said.

Tears escaped my eyelids like rain. I intertwined my fingers with his on the bed.

It's my fault.

He was in this state becoming of me.

I'm pathetic.

"Why is it this critical." I sobbed louder, my shoulders shaking.

The doctor sighed." He had a concussion and dislocated his right hand. We had to pull out six broken glass buried deep inside him,he lost a lot of blood. All that could have been you."

My hands were trembling. My chest hurt, it hurt so bad seeing him with all those medical equipment connected to his body.

I couldn't hold back the tears so I let them all out.

The doctor left after a minute of stalling, and so did Aiden.

" Can you give me some time with him, please," I asked Jade.

She nodded and left me alone with Zayden.

I touched his face, memorising each feature. My chest arched so badly, and I think I understood why.

You won't understand how much you care for someone until you're so close to losing them.

I don't know if it's love or I simply just like him but I just realized that my heart beats for him.

Right now, the rhythm isn't the same. It won't be until I see him back on his feet.

I never left his side till the sun went down. The police came around, it was obvious from the CCTV that it wasn't just an accident.

I knew that it wasn't just an accident. They asked questions and showed me pictures of Tyrell with half his face covered, but I denied knowing him.

The police can't handle him and I'm not giving out any useful information till Zayden wakes up.

Tyrell was unstoppable. It's me he wants. I know what he is capable of and to what lengths he goes to get what he wants.

This is just the beginning of his reign of terror. I'll end that terror myself.