The Dice Game I Could Never Win

Julian stepped out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. He glanced at me.

"Is the itinerary done yet? Chloe just sent a few more trending restaurants. Add them to the list."

"There's no need," I said, looking at him with a calm voice.

"What do you mean, no need?" Julian paused mid-towel.

"Nothing. I’m just tired and want to rest." I turned toward the closet and began flipping through my clothes.

Julian walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

"If you're tired, get some rest. I’ll let Chloe figure out her own itinerary." He rested his chin on my shoulder. "Don't be mad. Tomorrow after work, I'll go to the mall and buy you that skincare set you've been wanting as an apology, okay?"

He was always like this.

Slap me in the face, then offer a sweet treat.

He thought a tiny crumb of favor would make me swallow every grievance, just like before.

"No need," I said, gently pulling away from his embrace.

---

The next evening, Julian came home carrying several large shopping bags.

He set them on the sofa and called me over like he was showing off a treasure.

"Chloe, come see what I got you!"

I walked over. The bags were filled with sunscreen, beach hats, and bright, colorful beach dresses.

Everything was strictly for a seaside trip.

"Chloe said this brand of sunscreen is amazing, so I picked up a set for you too," Julian said as he pulled out a vibrant red beach dress and held it against me. "This dress will look great in photos. I'll make sure to take plenty of pictures for you two."

I looked at the price tag.

Small size.

I was five-foot-six and I usually wore a medium size.

Chloe was tiny so she used to wear small sizes.

"It's the wrong size," I said flatly.

Julian froze for a moment, glanced at the tag, and laughed it off.

"Haven't you lost weight recently? The fabric is stretchy, so you can squeeze into it.

“Besides, Chloe uses a small size too. If it really doesn't fit, you can just give it to her and I'll buy you a new one."

His casual, matter-of-fact tone left me without even the energy to get angry.

This was his idea of an apology.

Buying a brand Chloe liked, picking Chloe's size, and then claiming it was a gift for me.

My phone screen lit up with a voice message from Chloe.

Before I could tap it, Julian had already picked up his own phone.

He played the voice note on speaker, and Chloe's sweet, cheerful voice echoed through the living room.

"Julian, I'm so excited for Miami! I feel bad that Chloe has to compromise for me this time, so you better make it up to her!"

Julian held down the talk button, his voice dropping into a tender tone.

"She understands. Just make sure you get your own things packed."

After sending the message, he turned to me.

"See how thoughtful Chloe is? She actually cares about your feelings."

I looked at him, feeling that the man I had been with for seven years had become terrifyingly distant.

I said nothing, turned around, and walked into the bedroom.

I took out a separate duffel bag.

Into it, I packed heavy jackets, a windbreaker, and a pair of comfortable walking shoes, everything I would need for Aspen.

Julian walked in and watched me pack, looking confused.

"Why are you packing such thick clothes for Miami? It's still warm down there."

"I get cold easily," I answered without looking up.

"Suit yourself. Just don't ask me to carry your heavy stuff later." He shrugged and turned to pack his massive 28-inch suitcase.

His suitcase was packed to the brim with snacks, first-aid kits, and various beach gear, all prepared for Chloe.

I watched his busy back in silence.

He zipped up the big luggage full of beach gear.

That night, I opened our joint travel savings account and turned off the automatic monthly transfer.