Chapter 3 - Shea

"What do you think of this dress?" Eva parades out of her closet in a beautiful navy blue knee-length dress. Her dark hair falls in silky waves down her back, and her eyes sparkle with their normal luster. This is the 5th dress she's tried on since we got to her house almost two hours ago. 

"I think you look amazing."

She sighs heavily, sinking onto the corner of her bed next to me. "You've said that about all of the dresses Shea! You aren't helping me decide in the slightest!" She shoves my shoulder playfully and I can't help but smile. 

"Okay, fine... let me think..." I look at the small pile of dresses on the bed next to me. "I liked the red lace one on you best. It made your ass look amazing." I hand it back to her from the pile, hoping my answer is sufficient. 

"You're right!" She exclaimed. "My ass did look great in this dress, and I need all the help I can get if I'm going to make out with someone tonight." She giggles and winks at me. "Okay, now, what are you going to wear?"

I look down at the clothes I have on, I hadn't planned on wearing anything different tonight. "I guess just this." I have on jeans and an oversized emerald green graphic t-shirt. It was my go-to style recently. Show as little skin as possible, don't wear anything too tight. 

"Heellll no!" She scoffs. "You CANNOT go to a party in that. Not when you're going with me!"

"I didn't bring anything else with me, and I told my mom that I was staying here tonight, so if I go home to get a change of clothes that isn't PJ's. She's going to know something is up."

"Lucky for you, I have an ENTIRE closet full of clothes." With no further discussion, she hopped up from the bed and walked back into her closet. 

I sat uncomfortably, unsure if I should argue the issue further or just bear my fate with as much grace as possible. I hate drawing attention to myself or my body. From a very young age, I garnered the attention of more people than I would have liked. My body developed early, and it was always a source of insecurity for me. When all of my friends were getting training bras and talking about their little rosebud breasts, I was shopping for boring nude underwire bras to support my growing body. My mother always told me it was nothing to be ashamed of, but still, I hated it. None of the cute clothes my friends wore looked right on me, and any time I was out I would get stared at. I learned early that oversized t-shirts and a pair of baggy jeans were the best way to avoid attention.

I never particularly thought of myself as fat, but with the media's constant bombardment of perfectly toned flat stomachs, and shirts so small you couldn't wear a bra with them, I felt hopelessly out of place. 

"Here, try this one." Eva walks out of her closet holding a backless baby doll dress. 

"I can't wear a bra with that!" My cheeks flush at the thought of my back exposed for everyone to see. "There is no way in hell I'm wearing that Ev."

"Pleeaasseeee! Just try it on! Humor me." She puffs out her bottom lip in a pouty expression and gives me the biggest brown puppy dog eyes I've ever seen.

"Ugh, Fine. But this does NOT mean I'm wearing it tonight." I take the dress from her, slipping into her closet to put it on. I opt to leave my bra on for the sake of the try-on because I am for sure not actually wearing this dress tonight. When I step out of the closet and stand in front of her full-length mirror I barely recognize myself.

Eva squeals and comes to stand next to me, her face glowing as she looks me up and down. "If I didn't know for sure that you weren't into girls, I would for sure try and seduce you right now." She laughs. "Do a spin, let me see ALL of you!"

I follow her instructions, turning slowly in the mirror before her. I can't admit it to her, but I actually like the way the dress makes me feel. 

"What's on your back?" Her words are like ice picks through my heart. I turn my back to the mirror staring at the top of the ugly pink scar peeking out through the hole in the back of the dress. "Shea, baby, what's wrong? You look like You've seen a ghost."

"I need to change, I can't wear this dress tonight." My heart feels like it's in a freefall race with my stomach to see which can reach my feet first. I scramble back into the closet, ripping the dress off and throwing my t-shirt and jeans back on. Nausea in my stomach threatens to cause lunch to make a reappearance. 

Eva knocks on the door gently. "Hey Shea," Her voice is slightly muffled through the door between us. "Honey, are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" I hope my voice sounds casual because my insides are trembling so hard I can barely stand. I open the door and give her what I hope is a smile, but I think it probably looks more like a grimace. "Sorry, that dress just isn't my style," I say flatly. 

"Okay..." She smiles back, but her eyes are full of questions and pity that I can't quite handle right now. 

"How about you just do my makeup," I say, changing the subject. "Something like what you did for homecoming. I really liked that." I knew that would hook her, Eva was amazing with makeup, and I rarely let her near my face. Aside from the occasional concealer, mascara, and lipstick I almost never wore makeup.

She beams triumphantly at me like I just let her win at a game. "Perfect! Come sit and I will glam you up!" She takes my hand gently and sits me in the chair directly in front of her vanity. 

I wait patiently as she works her magic, following her orders when she tells me to close my eyes or suck in my cheeks. While she works my back starts to ache. I can't help but think about the scars on my back. The dull pain I feel radiated from that point, spreading up through my shoulders threatening to bring memories, that I would rather not relive at the moment, from the depths of my mind. His face flashes behind my closed eyes, that wicked smile pulling on the edges of his mouth. 

"Finished!" She dabs the last bit of who knows what across my cheeks and steps back, admiring her work. I stare at my reflection, and a tiny smile threatens to come out. 

"I love it." My skin looks absolutely flawless, and there is a healthy pink and gold glow radiating from my cheeks. Eva lined my eyes, giving them a sleek elongated look, and whatever lipstick she used just enhances the natural color. I actually feel beautiful. "You've worked your magic again." I smile at her. 

"If you won't wear the dress I picked, will you at least let me accessorize you as well?" She's already rummaging through her jewelry box, handing me a simple gold necklace with two simple gold bands, one inside of the other, and a small opal-Esque pendant hanging from the center. 

"That's beautiful." I breathe. Something about the necklace draws me in. 

"It's supposed to symbolize, mind, body, and soul. The Stone in the middle is Opalite, it's supposed to help you understand your worth. My crazy old aunt gave it to me a few years back, and honestly, I don't think I've ever worn it. Platinum is more my color than gold."

I place the necklace gingerly over my head, admiring the way it rests on my chest in the mirror. "It's so pretty."

"It suits you." She says confidently. "It's settled, you have to wear it." 

Just then her phone buzzes from the bed, and she rushes over to check it. I stare at myself for another minute in the mirror, admiring the glow that the Opalite seems to give off in the mirror. 

"Luke says he's tired of waiting on us." Eva comes back to the vanity to touch up her mascara and lipstick. "Since he's driving us tonight, we should probably hurry so he doesn't leave without us." She giggles and stands next to me. "Are you ready?" She links her arm through mine and we head out of her bedroom.