Chapter 1

Victor and I were two years into this marriage and he still treated me as coldly as the first day we were married. After hearing the conversation between Victor and Liam this afternoon, I firmly believed I was fighting a losing battle. However, I refused to go down without a fight.

I spent the last two years changing nearly everything about myself to get Victor to at least notice me and acknowledge my presence. I even changed myself into a submissive and rarely even looked him in the eye. I changed my wardrobe from low-neckline and short dresses to respectable necklines, knee length dresses or maxi dresses.

No more loud colors, just mostly black, white, or grey dresses. I learned to cook and bit my tongue every time his mother would try to humiliate me if I made a mistake. I kept my hair at shoulder length because that looked like every woman he had dated.

I was no longer a strong woman who was unafraid to say anything, but a mousey woman who was afraid to speak her mind. I was never married for money. All I had wanted was for him to notice me.  

By the time I realized how much I had changed, I was a totally different person. It’s not like it would matter anyway. He had his head so far up Daya’s ass that he wouldn’t see anything about me. I decided to make some of his favorite dishes for dinner, and as soon as they were done, I put them on the table then set the table.

As soon as the table was set, I went to our bedroom and changed into a thigh-length royal blue dress that hugged all my curves. It had a plunging V neckline, so a bra was not possible but it showed off my breasts well. The blue in the dress highlighted my eyes and I left my long, waist length blonde hair down.

When I made it back to the dining room, I lit the candles just in time to see my husband walking in. I tried my hardest to hide my tears as I approached him and helped him take off his coat. I hung it in the foyer closet and invited him to take a seat, “Let’s eat. I’ve made all of your favorite dishes.” Without so much as a thank you, he walked to the dining room and sat at the table.

I expected him to not show or voice appreciation for my hard work. He never did. Up until now, I chalked it up to him being raised with money. I assumed he just took it for granted and just figured that’s what wives are supposed to do. I knew he didn’t think it was that hard to do.

I loved him though, so I would tolerate it until I could earn his love and respect. It still hurt at that moment. We started filling our plates and I started trying to get him to speak in sentences longer than one word. I asked, “How was work?” He answered, “Fine.” I asked, “Did you get a chance to review my designs?” He answered, “Yes.” I asked, “Did you like them?” He nodded, “Yes.”

He finally stopped me, “Listen, Harley, I don’t know what is up with all this, but we both know this marriage is a farce.” He took some papers out of his suit pocket and pushed them across the table to me.     

With a stone-faced expression he stated, “I want a divorce. Read through these and sign them. I am giving you two cars, one of the mansions and the beach house, along with enough money that you will never have to work again. I’m compensating you fairly.”

A sob was in my throat, but I refused to cry in front of him. Instead, he saw me angrier than he had ever seen me before, “I see. You are going to try to compensate me for wasting two and a half years of my life. I loved you and tried everything in my power to earn your love and respect. Now, on our second anniversary no less, you are going to put those in front of me?”

I took a deep breath to calm myself, “You’ll have to give me a few days to consult an attorney. I will protect myself. It’s very apparent that I have no one else to protect me.”

Victor raised an eyebrow at me, “That’s fine. I will let you have Monday off so that you can do that. Your attorney will tell you that it is a fair agreement, considering we’ve only been married for two years. I will be back Monday evening and we will decide where to go from there.”

I nodded in agreement, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would start shouting at him using a verbal collage of as many curse words as I knew or I would start bawling and begging him to try harder. He went to our bedroom, packed some clothes and walked to the door.

At that moment, his phone rang. When he answered, his voice was softer than I had ever heard as he answered, “I’ll be there shortly.” The tone of his voice made me decide that he never even liked me, much less loved me. He always treated me with indifference. I didn’t think I had even seen him smile since we got married.

He turned to me and added, “I realize my timing could have been better.” I huffed, “Ya think? Just get out before I start throwing shit.” He shook his head, “I’ve never seen you this angry before.” I responded, "What? Did you expect me to fall at your feet and beg you to stay?”

 I chuckled, “There are many sides to me that you haven’t seen and now, you never will. You never even gave our marriage a chance. You will never get to see how I love with my whole heart or how I would make love with more passion than you have ever experienced. Leave. I need you out of my sight.”

As soon as Victor was out the door, I rushed to it, locked it and then slid down the door and let the sobs wreck my body. I covered my face until I finally lay in a fetal position on the floor and cried until I thought I was done. I got up and blew out the candles on the table. I picked up the papers and took them to the bedroom. I sat them on my dresser and got into bed without even changing into my pajamas.

As I lay in bed, I could still smell Victor’s scent in the room and started crying again. I started remembering the only time we had made love. It was only a month ago and he had come home drunk.

Flashback

He had been so gentle with me and took everything so slowly. He worked me up with his fingers and tongue until I was a panting mess. When he entered me, the pain was gone in a matter of seconds and was replaced by bliss. His gentle thrusts were all I ever needed. I soon found myself spiraling out of control and screaming his name. It wasn’t long after I had come down from my high that he had found his release.

That was when my heart shattered and my world caved in around me. When he found his release, he roared Daya’s name; not mine.

I should have known. He had not touched me neither the entire time we had dated nor the two years we have been married. Why would I even begin to think that he had a sudden change of heart at this moment. I should have known he was thinking of Daya. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I went to the restroom and took a quick shower to clean up myself.

While I was in the shower, I sat on the bench, covered my face and cried until no more tears came. When he yelled her name, he might as well have reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. When I felt that I could act as normal as possible, I turned off the water and dried myself. I went to my dresser, put on a fresh nightgown and went back to bed with my back facing Victor.

For the first time ever, Victor reached out to me and pulled me close to him. I had wanted to be held by him for so many years and now that he was holding me, I knew he thought he was holding her. I tried to keep my body from giving away the fact that I was sobbing what was left of my heart out.

The next morning, I felt him get out of bed, I heard him gasp while he was in the bathroom. He turned on the water in the shower and I heard him curse softly. That was when I knew he had remembered that he had taken my virginity last night. I stayed in bed with my back to the bathroom door and pretended to be asleep.

After getting dressed, he walked out of the bedroom without even trying to talk with me about what happened. He never said anything about it.

Flashback Ends

Now, as I lay in bed, still crying, I wish I had fought him off of me. He did not deserve to take my virginity and I needed to make him pay for breaking my heart. I loved him with everything in me and received nothing but cruelty from him and his mother in return.

When I finally fell asleep, I was somewhere between sadness and boiling anger. I told myself that I would decide what to do next in the morning.