The Fairness I Never Got

I walked home alone through the pouring rain. By the time I reached the house, I was soaked through.

The moment I stepped inside, my phone buzzed.

My mom had tagged me in the family group chat, asking what I planned to do about meals while I was home alone for the next few days.

For one ridiculous second, warmth spread through my chest.

My eyes even started to sting.

I thought maybe she actually remembered me.

Before I could type a reply, another message appeared.

'Don't touch anything in the fridge. Everything in there belongs to your brother and sister. We divided it evenly between them, so if you take anything, you'll ruin the balance.'

The warmth vanished instantly. That same question I had carried with me for as long as I could remember surfaced again.

'What about me?'

I did not type it.

I had already asked that question too many times.

No one had ever cared enough to answer.

Instead, I replied with two simple words, 'Got it.'

Sometimes, it felt like everyone in my family had quietly agreed that nothing in this house was ever supposed to include me.

I put my phone away and went into the kitchen to look for food.

I checked every cabinet I could think of.

The only thing I found was a box of bread shoved into a corner. It had already expired, and a few slices were beginning to grow mold.

There was nothing else.

That night, I went to bed cold, hungry, and completely exhausted.

Somehow, I still managed to fall asleep.

Sometime after midnight, something cold and wet landed across my face.

I jolted awake.

A muddy jacket had been thrown over my head.

The hallway lights were on now.

The house had been silent when I fell asleep, yet voices suddenly filled every room.

The storm had apparently gotten worse. The highway out of town had been closed, forcing my family to abandon their trip and come back.

Kendra stood in my doorway with her arms crossed. She looked at me as if I were already wasting her time. "What are you waiting for? Can't you see I want you to wash that?"

Mud streaked the jacket from top to bottom.

After landing directly on my head, it had left my hair damp and sticky with grime.

I could barely keep my eyes open. "Kendra, I'm exhausted. Can I wash it tomorrow morning?"

Her voice rose immediately. "If you don't want to do it, just say so. You don't need to make excuses."

Before I could respond, Xander appeared beside her.

He dropped a pair of mud-covered shoes onto the floor. "If you're washing hers, wash mine too. And don't take forever."

A moment later, my mom passed by carrying an armful of clothes.

She noticed me sitting there, half-awake and exhausted, and frowned. "There are three children in this family. We believe in treating everyone equally."

Her eyes shifted toward Xander and Kendra. "Your brother and sister have been out dealing with this storm all day while you've been relaxing at home. Is helping them with a few things really too much to ask?"

I looked at the people standing around me.

Every one of them stared back as though I were the difficult one.

For a second, I almost laughed.

So, this was what fairness means in this family.

Whenever there was something good to divide, it belonged to Xander and Kendra. Whenever there was work to do, my parents suddenly remembered they had three children.

Apparently, fairness only included me when it was useful.

There was no point arguing.

I crouched down, gathered the muddy clothes and shoes into my arms, and carried everything to the laundry room.

Nearly four hours passed before I finally finished.

When I straightened up, black spots immediately swam across my vision.

I knew that feeling.

I had not eaten all day, and my blood sugar was dropping.

I pressed one hand against the wall to steady myself and slowly made my way toward the kitchen.

All I wanted was some warm water. Anything that might help the dizziness pass.

That was when I ran into my father.

He had just come through the front door carrying several takeout bags from a barbecue restaurant.

The instant he noticed me, he instinctively moved the bags behind his back.

Then, he gave me an awkward smile. "We only ordered four barbecue combos, so we didn't call you. If we ordered another one or split things differently, Kendra and Xander would probably start arguing again."

He paused as though something had suddenly occurred to him. "Oh. They gave us a bag of boiled peanuts too. Neither of them likes those, so you can have them."

He held the bag toward me.

I stared at it for a moment, then I gave him a faint smile. "Dad, I'm allergic to peanuts."

My dad froze.

For one brief second, something seemed to register on his face. Perhaps it was guilt or embarrassment. Whatever it was, it disappeared almost instantly.

Kendra called for him from the living room, her voice sweet but impatient. His attention shifted to her without hesitation.

Then, he walked straight past me.

My fingers slowly curled into my palms.

For some reason, that hurt more than anything else that had happened that night.

It felt like something sharp had buried itself deep inside my chest and twisted every time I breathed. I was too tired even to cry.

I drank some water and waited until the dizziness finally began to ease. Then I dragged myself back toward the storage room where I slept.

At that point, I wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed.

The moment I opened the door, I stopped.

Xander and Kendra's suitcases filled the room.

They had not even bothered to unpack.

They had simply dumped everything into the room where I slept.