CH2

Chapter 2

Tanya's POV

I kept on walking towards the hallway that led to Tovar’s chambers without stopping, not even when Sulli called my name twice.

Her voice echoed behind me, desperate, but my feet would not slow. If I stopped, I would think. And if I thought, I would break.

It was only when she rushed forward and pulled me back by the arm that I finally paused to answer her.

“I need to get to the Alpha Prince’s chambers, Sulli,” I managed to say, my voice croaky from the tears I was forcing myself not to shed. Each word scraped painfully against my throat.

“Is this necessary, Tanya?” she asked softly, her eyes filled with concern and an affection I could never deny.

A tear slipped past my control and streaked down my cheek. She wiped it away immediately and pulled me into her embrace, holding me tightly as if she could shield me from what awaited.

For decades now, Sulli had been the only friend I had.

When Zhuri mistreated me and tore up all her old clothes instead of letting me wear them, Sulli gave me hers. When Zhuri threw away her leftovers rather than allow me to eat what little I was given, Sulli shared her food in secret. Sometimes she even took punishments meant for me, standing in my place without hesitation.

She had been more of a sister to me than I had ever been to her.

And that thought always filled me with guilt.

“It's not your fault, Tanya. It's not your fault you're still without a child for Tovar. I've told you many times to use another—”

I immediately shifted from her embrace and covered her mouth before she could continue. We were already in the hallway that led to Tovar’s chambers. The walls had ears. The guards were never far.

What if he heard her? What if his warriors did?

“I’ll only get pregnant for my mate, Sulli. I don’t plan on sleeping with another man in order to bear an heir,” I replied firmly, even though my hands trembled.

She tried to protest again, but I stopped her once more. She had always insisted I had two choices. Either I let another man get me pregnant — because she believed Tovar was impotent — or I drug Tovar one night during our allotted consummation days and have him unknowingly impregnate another woman for me in case I was the problem.

A woman I would keep discreetly.

A woman who would carry his pups while I pretended to be the one with child.

Every time she brought it up, my heart recoiled. No matter how desperate I had become, I could never follow her advice.

I was not barren.

Tovar was not impotent.

And I had always trusted the Moon Goddess to grant me my wish.

After all, she was the one who made me his mate. I believed she would also grant me his heir in due time.

But the thought that Zhuri — my cousin — might already be carrying him made a cold wave of fear brush over me.

What if the heir he needed had already been conceived?

What if I had been replaced long before tonight?

I pulled away from Sulli and continued walking towards Tovar’s chambers. She stopped at the entrance of the hallway, watching me with worry etched deeply into her face.

“I'm sorry, Lady Tanya, but the Alpha Prince is busy at the moment. He can’t see you. You’ll have to return at another time.”

The guard stepped forward and blocked my path just as I reached the doors.

I stared at them without needing to be told the truth. The guards avoided my gaze. The one who had spoken lowered his head slightly, unable to meet my eyes, shame flickering across his features.

They knew why I was not allowed inside because of what was happening beyond those doors.

The faint sound of laughter drifted from within the chambers.

“ I can’t wait for the mating ceremony, Tov,” a familiar voice came from inside.

It was Zhuri.

Her tone was soft and intimate. Filled with excitement.

My heart began to pound violently against my ribs.

“Neither can I, Zhuri. For the past three years, I’ve always waited for the moment this period would come.”

Tovar’s voice followed.

For the past three years, he had been waiting.

Waiting for this day, to be free of me.

I stood there, frozen outside his door, as the reality I had tried so desperately to outrun finally caught up to me.

“Do you know how much I hated taking those herbs you sent me in order not to carry Ruwan’s pups? It’s a good thing it was worth it because you made Tanya take them as well. That way, she didn’t get to carry your pups before me,” Zhuri added, her voice dripping with satisfaction.

My vision blurred for a second and I almost lost my footing.

The walls seemed to tilt. The air grew thin. I had to steady myself against the cold stone beside me as the truth crashed into me with brutal clarity.

A guard began to approach me, his expression filled with pity and urgency, clearly intending to escort me away before I heard any more. But I stood rooted to the ground, unable to move even if I wanted to.

“I’ve always disliked that wolfless halfblood cousin of yours,” Tovar’s voice followed, cold and unashamed. “Can’t wait to send her away and take you in as my mate. Being with her for the past three years has been nothing short of a humiliation ritual I wouldn’t want to experience again.”

Zhuri’s breathless sounds filled the room, her laughter mixing with pleasure, and though I could not see them yet, I did not need to. The meaning was clear in the rhythm of movement and the sounds of bodies colliding.

Tovar had never been with me like that.

He only came to me on the consummation days arranged by the pack’s High Priest. Those nights were determined by the moon’s shape and the priest’s interpretation of it. Once or twice a month. Sometimes once in two months.

He never touched me outside of those nights nor made me feel wanted.

To him, sleeping with me had always been a chore. A duty forced upon him by tradition.

And I had taken it upon myself to do everything I could to make him notice me. To make him appreciate me. To make him see me.

I had sacrificed so much for him. For his pack.

I had taken the blame for crimes he would have been severely punished for if exposed.

Six months ago, after Zhuri returned from the open plains — after her mate Ruwan, whom she accepted after I was mated to Tovar, died in the war with lycans — she came back draped in mourning black.

Before Ruwan died, Tovar had paraded different women before me. Servants, warriors’ daughters, even strangers. I had endured it because I told myself they were not his mate.

That i was and that he always returned to me.

I was the one publicly recognized.

I thought that was enough.

But when he embezzled the grains meant for the warriors fighting the lycans in the open plains and was caught, he begged me to take the fall. And I did it.

As punishment, I promised to replenish what was lost. With my intelligence and strength, I reorganized the dry lands, taught the pack new farming techniques, worked alongside laborers until my hands blistered and bled. The pack became prosperous. Grains overflowed the storage houses. We even began selling to other packs.

They praised the Alpha Prince’s leadership.

They praised the prosperity of the Raki Horde Pack.

No one remembered the halfblood who rebuilt it.

I thought that sacrifice, coupled with all the others, would be enough.

But six months ago, when Zhuri returned widowed, Tovar immediately tried to send me away so he could mark her without hesitation — even though she was not carrying his heir, which had been the prerequisite he forced upon me.

Only the compulsory six-month mourning period Zhuri had to observe prevented him from discarding me instantly.

Even during her mourning, he still slept with her.

Neither his father nor his grandmother said anything to stop him.

And all this while, he had been secretly feeding me herbs to prevent me from getting pregnant with his heirs.

All this while, I had visited countless healers and priests, kneeling before altars, believing I was the problem.

“Lady Tanya, you need to—”

The guard’s voice pulled me back to the present.

“You can’t do this. The Alpha is in a very important meeting and can’t meet you! He is discussing the—”

I ignored him.

My hands pushed against the heavy doors before I could think about the consequences.

The doors slammed open with a loud thud against the wall.

Still, neither Tovar nor Zhuri immediately noticed me.

She arched against him, her back pressed to his chest as he held her hips. The sight alone was enough to shatter whatever fragile pieces of my heart remained.

“Alpha, I tried to stop her but she insisted. I tried to—” the guard began hurriedly.

Tovar finally turned when a cold breeze swept into the room.

“Why are you here, Tanya?” he asked, irritation evident in his tone, yet his movements did not stop.

Not even for a second.

“Be quick with it. I’m in the middle of something important,” he added casually.

I stood motionless as tears streamed down my face.

Three years.

Three years of humiliation and sacrifices.

Of loving someone who had despised me from the start.

I should have done this on the day he rejected me three years ago, I whispered to myself, as a strange calm settled over me.

I took a slow breath and lifted my head, meeting his gaze for the first time without pleading.

“I, Tanya, the halfblood of Xoraya Clan, accept your rejection, Alpha Prince Tovar of Raki Horde Pack.”