The Fifth Candle

I knew Julian had heard me. I did not have the patience to repeat myself. "Or if there's something you want, just tell me. I'll have someone buy it and send it over."

Julian Carter's brow slowly furrowed. Then, after a moment, he suddenly laughed. "Laura, what are you up to this time?"

I shot him a confused look, completely baffled by his reaction. "I'm not up to anything."

Then, keeping my voice calm, I added, "Besides, what's gotten into you? You've never cared about the gifts I gave you before."

Usually, they would end up tossed into the doghouse, or he would wave them off with a casual, "Whoever wants it can take it."

Julian seemed to arrive at some conclusion of his own. His tone softened. "You're upset with me? Fine. I promise this time, I'll keep whatever you give me. Now, get up and start getting ready. Just like before."

Just like before.

Back when his birthday was the thing I looked forward to most every year.

I would secretly ask around, trying to find out if there was anything he had glanced at twice lately. From choosing the gift to wrapping it to finally giving it to him, I poured my heart into every step.

I shook my head, sleepiness creeping into my eyes. "No. I spent the whole day hiking outside. I'm really tired."

Julian froze. "On my birthday, you weren't at home waiting for me?"

I smiled. "You didn't ask me to wait for you."

During the years I had been married to Julian, I always knew the people around him did not like me. Even so, every year on his birthday, I would shamelessly tag along anyway.

Sometimes, he and his friends would continue the celebration somewhere else afterward. Nobody ever invited me. Hence, I would go home and wait. When Julian finally came back, I would tug at his sleeve and plead with him.

"Come on, try the pasta I made for you. And the cake I baked."

He would take one or two bites at most before pushing everything away. He would then say, "Is that enough to make you happy? Can I go upstairs and rest now?"

One year, I waited so late that I accidentally fell asleep. The cold woke me up. The living room window had been left open. I was curled up on the couch in nothing but my pajamas while gusts of wind blew over me.

Julian was already asleep in the bedroom.

My eyes eventually landed on the cake sitting nearby—untouched. Not a single bite had been taken. I picked up a fork and ate a piece myself.

It was actually pretty good. What a waste.

Back in the present moment, Julian was still standing there, unmoving. I let out a helpless sigh.

"You were the one who said that whenever I showed up, I embarrassed you. You said you didn't like the things I gave you either. You told me not to do things on my own whims. I'm just following your instructions.

"Now, all of a sudden, you're insisting I make up a birthday gift for you. What exactly do you want?"

The familiar mockery returned to Julian's eyes. He let out a short laugh. "Laura, you're really full of yourself. Who said I wanted anything from you? I just noticed you didn't come running over like some eager little lapdog wagging its tail. I figured you were probably plotting something again.

"You'd better stick to your word. Don't bother me anymore, and don't start begging me to accept your gifts again."

I tugged at the corner of my mouth in a faint smile. "Don't worry. I won't."