The whole fake relationship thing was Luca's idea.Nothing sells a film like some good drama between co-stars, and he wanted Cataclysm: Earth to be huge. He had a contract and everything, spelling out what we could and couldn't do, breaking down exactly when all of our dramatic "relationship events" would take place, laying out exactly what was expected of me. I knew this was my chance to really make it big, so I signed it.And it worked. Our little show began the moment my signature was dry on the contract, and Luca and I have been in the spotlight ever since - one day making out on the beach, the next breaking up, the next starting baby rumors...and over and over and over again until I was convinced people would be bored with us. Instead, it only made them more obsessed.And now I have a rock the size of a golf ball to wear on my finger.My engagement ring is currently locked in my safe here in the trailer - I can't exactly wear it during filming - but I can still feel the weight
I did everything I could to prep for this scene. I've been practicing for weeks, recording myself making various moans and whimpers and then playing them back to myself. I've never walked onto set without being completely and totally prepared. I might not be as experienced as many of the people I work with, but I work twice as hard.When I reach the set, people are still rushing around and making their final adjustments to everything. Isaac Hillebrand, our esteemed director, is chatting with Leena, the set decorator, but as soon as he sees me, he makes a beeline right over."Luca's put us behind schedule," he says, his irritation plain on his face. "Is there something going on with him I should know about?"After working with Isaac for two films, I'm used to his directness, but I'm not really sure how to answer his question. It is really weird for Luca to be late, but I haven't the slightest idea what's going on.So I try redirection."Has no one been able to get in touch with him
Unfortunately, my prediction turns out to be exactly right.Everything starts out okay. The first half of the scene is mostly dialogue. Our characters, Jax and Isabel, have just escaped from a horde of alien creatures (another addition to the sequel) into the relative safety of an abandoned convenience store. The set today looks spectacular - exactly like you'd expect an already trashy gas station mart to look after a huge apocalyptic event. Dilapidated shelves dangle at all angles, dented cans are scattered everywhere, and - of course - everything has a thick coat of "apocalypse dust." The only thing that breaks the illusion is the giant green screen behind the convenience store's "windows" - where they'll add in the scenery and CGI alien creatures later.Luca, as usual, is stunning. He always is. No one can accuse him of coasting on his looks - he's that good an actor. It still fascinates me to watch, even two years into our working relationship. One minute Luca is there, all charm
Luca props himself up on his elbows over me, a frown wrinkling the perfect skin on his forehead. Somewhere along the edges of my panic, I'm dimly aware of Isaac calling, "Cut!"I shove at Luca's chest again, and he sits up all the way. I gasp for breath, but I still feel as if a great weight is bearing down on me. As if my thumping heart is blocking my throat.Luca runs a hand through his golden hair. I can't tell if he's frustrated or not."Can we get her robe over here?" he says.Shit - I'm still freaking topless.I quickly cross my arms across my chest, trying to block what I can, but everyone in this room has seen my nipples by now. A few seconds later, Briana rushes forward with my robe in her hands. She drapes it over my body as Luca helps me sit up. Now Isaac is beside us, too."What the hell is going on?" our director demands. "What happened?"This is the part where I offer up some lame excuse. But I can't find the words.Fortunately, Luca comes to my aid."When I was
Luca has very skillfully brushed off my question, but I can't pretend his tardiness is the only reason I'm having issues today."I think... I honestly think it's just the pressure," I say. "Everyone believes that what you and I are doing out there is real. And if we're awkward or if something about it is off, then they're going to know the truth."One of his golden eyebrows rises. "If you're worried about it looking awkward, then I'm afraid that ship has already sailed.""I know. I just..." God, what is wrong with me? "I got a weird call from Javy this morning and I'm a little distracted.""Javy?""My brother." We've been "together" for two years and apparently he still doesn't know my little brother's name. But I can't blame him, I guess - Luca and I never talk about personal stuff.He's watching me a little too closely. I don't think he realizes how intense his gaze is - how it has a way of getting under your skin, even when you try to guard yourself against it. I look down at
I still remember, quite vividly, the first time I visited Luca's house. I stood here on this very driveway, looking up at the marvel of contemporary architecture rising above me, and I'm pretty sure I forgot how to breathe. The effect isn't quite as intense this time, but the memory still comes rushing back to me.I nearly tripped over my own feet walking up the front steps. I still couldn't believe that I, of all girls, would be acting opposite Luca Fontaine. That I, of all girls, was about to walk into his Beverly Hills mansion. He'd invited me here himself, saying he had "special business" to discuss with me.Even though it had only been a month since I was cast in Cataclysm: Earth, I'd still been in Hollywood long enough to know what that meant. No doubt about it - he'd invited me here to sleep with him.It was stupid, I knew, to even consider the idea. I was here to be an actress, not to hook up with a celebrity. I knew plenty of young, naive women who thought that sleeping wit
I'm no longer the innocent girl I was the night I signed that contract. I've learned how to play the publicity game. And I've learned not to trust Luca's - or anyone's - smiles.I straighten my shoulders and head up the front steps. This is the last place I want to be right now, but after the way I humiliated myself on set today, I know I don't have a choice. I need to practice that scene.My nerves start to sink in again as I ring the doorbell. I'm still not sure what came over me earlier. I've never had a panic attack on set before. It doesn't help that I still don't know what's going on with Javy. I've called him multiple times and left him a couple messages, but so far his only response has been a quick text message to tell me he'd talk to me later. I spent the entire ride over here debating whether or not I should call Mom and Dad about him. What the hell could he need twenty thousand dollars for?Just when I'm starting to lose myself in my anxiety again, Luca answers the door.
I wish I was experienced enough in this industry to manage a few secret lovers like Luca. Dante Fontaine is the only person I've slept with since Luca and I signed our contract, and I know he'll keep what happened a secret. But who knows what other men might do? I'm too afraid they'll run off the morning after and sell the story to one of the tabloids, and I can't afford to pay the $30,000 penalty our contract says we owe for each infraction of discretion. Sure, I'm making a lot more money than I used to, but I'm not making Fontaine money or anything - I mean, two years ago I had absolutely nothing. And now I'm saving most of what I earn for my family.In all honesty, though, it's not even the sex that I miss - though I certainly wouldn't say no to that right now. It's more that I just want someone to talk to. Someone to hold me. Someone with whom I can drop all the lies, if only for a night. Sometimes the loneliness is so bad it's like a physical ache inside of me."How's your broth