Chapter 4

Elias

I jerked awake to the sound of whimpering beside me. Harper thrashed against the sheets, her body rigid with tension, sweat beading on her forehead despite the cool night air filtering through our bedroom window.

"No," she gasped, her voice small and broken. "Get out of my head."

I reached for her instinctively, my movements sluggish with sleep. Before, when Jax and the demon were still part of me, I would have sensed her distress immediately, would have been alert and ready before her nightmare even took hold. Now I was just... slow. Human.

"Harper," I murmured, gently catching her wrists as she clawed at the sheets. "Baby, wake up."

Her eyes flew open, pupils dilated with fear as she gasped for breath. For a split second, her eyes looked around wildly, like she didn’t know where she was. I noticed the faint silver shimmer of the Council's suppression sigils still lingering on her skin, a constant reminder that I hadn't been able to protect her from their judgment.

"Hey," I said softly, stroking her hair back from her damp forehead. "You're safe. You're home." She blinked rapidly, reality replacing whatever horrors had filled her dreams. Her pulse hammered beneath my fingers, her breathing still too fast.

"Just a fun little Hell-flashback," she said with forced lightness. "Nothing major." I waited, knowing there was more. After a moment, she sighed.

"It was him," she admitted quietly. "He was... angry. Said I'd pay for sending him back, that this wasn't over." She shrugged, aiming for nonchalance but missing by a mile. "The usual bullshit." My stomach dropped. War could still reach her, could still touch her mind even from the depths of Hell. I tried to hide my reaction, but Harper knew me too well.

"I'm awake now," she said, squeezing my hand. "It's over."

"Has this been happening often?" I asked, keeping my voice carefully neutral. She hesitated, which was answer enough. 

"On and off. Usually when I'm stressed about shit, or thinking about Marcus, or..." She trailed off, but I heard the unspoken word: Hell. "It's just annoying, really. Like he's trying to telemarket me into buying his bullshit when I've already hung up the phone." 

I traced my thumb over the fading marks on her wrist, anger and helplessness warring inside me. "I hate that I didn't sense it happening," I admitted. "I hate that I can’t help you."

"Elias-"

"I used to feel everything," I continued, the words spilling out before I could stop them. "Now I'm just... slow. Normal." Harper's expression softened as she sat up, the sheet falling to her waist. Even in the dim light filtering through our bedroom window, I could see the concern in her eyes.

"You know that's not true," she said. "You're still you." But was I? The question had been gnawing at me since that night in the Neverplain, when Jax and the demon had sacrificed themselves to help Colton defeat War. What was a werewolf without his wolf? What was I without the parts that had defined me for so long?

"What am I now, Harper?" I asked, the words barely audible. "No wolf. No demon. Just a... a broken Alpha in a borrowed body." I couldn't meet her eyes as I voiced the fear that had been haunting me. "Am I still your fated mate if the pieces that made me... me... are gone?" My voice dropped even lower. 

"Did you really choose Elias, or did you choose the demon and the wolf holding me together?" Her sharp intake of breath made me look up. I expected anger or frustration. Instead, I found determination in the set of her jaw as she moved closer, placing her hand deliberately over my heart.

"I didn't fall in love with Jax," she said firmly, the steady beat of my heart beneath her palm. "I didn't fall in love with the demon, though goddess knows he was entertaining." The ghost of a smile crossed her lips before her expression turned serious again. "I fell in love with the man who kept fighting both of them to protect the people he cared about. The man who carried me out of those cells, who gave me a sledgehammer to destroy the gazebo where I'd been hurt, who stayed when everyone else would have run." Her fingers splayed wider against my chest, warm and grounding. 

"The bond didn't disappear when Jax left. If anything, it feels calmer now, more..." She paused, searching for the word. "More wholly you." I wanted to believe her. Part of me did. But the doubts remained, stubborn and persistent.

"I know it's terrifying to lose your backup," she continued softly. "But you're still the same man, Elias. Still my mate. Still the one I chose." She leaned forward until her forehead rested against mine, her breath warm against my lips. "Still mine." The last word sent a ripple through the bond, a reminder that it was still there, still intact, despite everything. I reached for her, almost hesitantly, my hands settling on her hips.

"You're still mine," she murmured, shifting to straddle my lap, her thighs bracketing my own. "With or without the extra passengers." Her kiss was gentle at first, a deliberate choice rather than the desperate hunger that often characterized our intimacy. I responded in kind, careful of the fading marks on her skin, mindful of the nightmares that had just plagued her. My hands skimmed up her sides with reverent slowness, memorising the curve of her waist, the slight dip before the flare of her ribs. Harper pulled back slightly, her eyes searching mine. 

"You don't have to treat me like I'll break," she said softly. "I'm still me, too."

"I know," I replied, brushing my thumb across her lower lip. "I just..." Words failed me, but Harper understood. She always did. She took my hands and deliberately placed them higher, cupping her breasts. 

"I'm here," she said. "I'm real. And I'm not going anywhere."

The small, decisive gesture broke something loose in me. I leaned forward to capture her mouth again, this time with more intensity. She responded immediately, her fingers threading through my hair, her body arching against mine. The sweet weight of her in my lap, the soft sounds she made as my thumbs brushed across her nipples, it all felt like coming home. We took our time undressing each other, each item of clothing removed with deliberate care. Her tank top slid up and over her head, revealing the silver shimmer of her Divine Order sigil between her shoulder blades. My sleep pants were pushed down and kicked away. Every inch of newly exposed skin was explored with lips and hands, mapping territories both familiar and somehow new in this moment of reconnection.

When she guided me inside her, it wasn't with the frantic urgency that often drove us. Instead, she moved with deliberate slowness, her eyes locked on mine as she sank down, taking me deep, her thighs trembling slightly with the effort of control. I groaned at the sensation, my hands spanning her waist, helping to guide her movements.

"This," she whispered, rolling her hips in a way that made me see stars. "Us. That's the bond." I felt it then, the connection between us flaring bright and warm. It was different than before, less feral, less wild, but no less powerful. More human, perhaps. I wasn't sure if that was better or worse, if it meant I was weaker or simply different.

"You don't need Jax to be enough for me," Harper continued, her voice catching as I shifted beneath her, changing the angle. "You've always been enough."

I leaned forward to capture her lips again, swallowing her soft moans as our pace increased. Her nails dug into my shoulders, not breaking skin but anchoring her as the pleasure built. I knew every sign of her approaching release, the flush spreading across her chest, the way her breathing hitched, the subtle changes in her movements. When she came apart around me, her body tightening exquisitely, I followed her over the edge, her name on my lips.

Afterward, we lay tangled together, her head on my chest, my arms wrapped securely around her. I felt her breathing gradually slow as the tension finally left her body, days of stress melting away in the aftermath of our connection.

"War doesn't get to take this from us," she murmured sleepily, her words slurring slightly as exhaustion pulled her toward sleep. "He doesn't get to take you." I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo. 

"Sleep, baby," I whispered. "I've got you." She drifted off almost immediately, her body heavy and relaxed against mine. I watched her face in the faint moonlight, peaceful now in a way it hadn't been in days. The sigil on her back glowed faintly beneath my hand, a reminder of who she was: not just my mate, but a Divine Warrior, a leader to sworn demon-bloods, a beacon in a world teetering on the edge of chaos.

Sleep eluded me as I stared at the ceiling, then back at Harper, a mixture of pride, love, and dread swirling inside me. I was grateful that Jax and the demon had sacrificed themselves to defeat War. I wouldn't take that back, not when it had saved Harper, saved all of us. But without them, I felt... hollow. Less than I had been.

If, or more like when, Harper went back to Hell to retrieve Marcus's soul, what could I actually do to help her? I couldn't follow her into the Neverplain, couldn't fight a Horseman, couldn't pull her back by sheer force of will anymore. The Council had already proven how easily they could contain her; what chance did I have against the powers of Hell if they decided to keep her? I reached through the bond, seeking reassurance. I felt her warmth, her trust, her love flowing back to me, but I also sensed the pull of her other connections. Divine Warrior, Master of demon-bloods, Shifter bloodline keeper. So many roles, so many responsibilities pulling her in different directions. I was proud of her strength, her resilience, but I couldn't ignore the feeling that I was becoming increasingly peripheral to the battle she was destined to fight. I brushed a strand of hair from her face, my touch feather-light to avoid waking her.

"I'll keep you safe," I whispered, even as doubt twisted in my gut. The words hung in the air, a promise I wasn't sure I could keep. If Hell called her back, for Marcus, for War's revenge, for whatever destiny Caroline kept hinting at, what was left of me that could follow? What good was a mate who couldn't walk the path she had to travel?

I lay awake in the darkness, Harper's steady breathing the only sound in our quiet bedroom, our bodies close but my mind already bracing for the moment I would be left behind, powerless to protect her from what was coming.