Fate Sealed

When I woke up that morning, I felt like the world was finally my oyster.

For most of my life, I endured pain. When I was little, I suffered through the pain of rejection. I was already “too old” when I arrived at the Orphanage. Most couples wanted babies or toddlers: too young to know that they were abandoned, easily raised and molded, no need to tell them where they really came from until they were adults themselves.

We were taught to appeal to the visitors. We were to stand in a line at the doorway to greet them and smile when they walked past. We were to stand in lines arranged according to height and sing a song about how sad it was to be a child alone in the world. The visitors were allowed to cry, but we were not. We were told to smile and play. We spoke only when spoken to. We were not to speak of our parents. The guests could say whatever they wanted to us. They could promise us new toys, good food, a new home, a new hope of belonging: we were supposed to smile and act shy.