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Author: Aya Starr
last update Last Updated: 2025-07-06 02:11:57
COLEEN

I hadn’t slept.

The night crawled by in a haze of embarrassment, replaying my outburst in class on a loop in my head. My voice cracking. My heart racing. The silence that followed. Hayden’s face, confused, almost guilty. And worst of all, the way the whole room looked at me like I was two seconds from combusting.

This wasn’t how I imagined college going. It wasn’t even close.

I curled deeper under my sheets, hoping for some kind of divine intervention. Maybe the ground could swallow me whole or I’d wake up in an alternate timeline where I’d kept my mouth shut and hadn’t exploded in front of my classmates.

But the sun kept rising and the responsibility of going to school knocked like an annoying landlord.

By 8:00 a.m., I was sitting up in bed with dark circles under my eyes and a knot in my stomach the size of a boulder. There was no way around it, if I wanted to survive this school, this scholarship, this life I was clawing toward, I had to face what happened.

I showered,
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  • The Hockey Star Regret    055

    COLEENI hated Mondays. Well... not all the time but most of the time. It was the start of the week and I'm never fully recovered from the weekend by the time Monday rolls around.Mondays were supposed to be miserable. Mine wasn’t… terrible.Classes, notes, the kind of steady routine I’d grown used to, it was all strangely comforting. Mark and I even managed to grab a quick lunch between his music theory lab and my psych lecture.“You look less stressed than usual,” Mark said around a mouthful of fries. "The Coleen I know would not be looking this relaxed on a Monday."“I’m hiding it well,” I said, smirking as I reached for one of his fries. He slapped my hand away.“Rude. Get your own.”“I paid for your coffee this morning,” I reminded him, glaring. “I deserve at least one fry as interest.”He rolled his eyes, pushing the carton toward me. “Fine. So, what’s new with you and Lover Boy?”“Don’t call him that,” I muttered, but my ears heated anyway. “And nothing’s ‘new.’ We’re just… han

  • The Hockey Star Regret    054

    HAYDENI didn’t know the best way to explain it, but game days had a rhythm.It usually felt like a ritual of sorts. Every player had their game day routine, most people were even superstitious about it, but I didn't think it was that deep. I would admit that one's game day routine played a significant role in their preparedness.For me, I like to wake up early, shake off the nerves with coffee that was probably stronger than it needed to be, run through warm-ups until my legs feel alive, and try not to overthink the fact that the stands would be full by puck drop. Usually, I was good at keeping my head down, it was just me, my teammates, and the ice.But today? I could already feel the eyes.Word had gotten around that a few NHL scouts were showing up again, and the locker room buzzed with it. Everyone tried to play it cool, but you could see the extra sharpness in how guys taped their sticks, hear it in how hard we slammed the pucks against the boards during practice drills.“Big n

  • The Hockey Star Regret    053

    COLEENThe wind bit through my coat as soon as I stepped outside, the kind of cold that nipped at your ears and made you question every life decision that involved leaving a warm apartment. Hayden had texted that he was waiting by his car, and sure enough, there he was, leaning against it like he was posing for a magazine cover instead of freezing in the parking lot.“You’re going to turn into an icicle,” I called as I walked over.He grinned, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets. “What, and ruin my reputation as a tough hockey guy? Can’t let that happen.”“You could at least pretend to be human and wear a hat,” I teased.“Can’t mess up the hair,” he shot back. “Priorities, Coleen.”I rolled my eyes as I reached him, but I couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at my lips. “You ready?”“Always,” he said, opening the car door for me with a little mock bow. “Your chariot awaits.”I slid in, muttering, “You’re ridiculous.”“And yet,” he replied, rounding to the driver’s side, “You st

  • The Hockey Star Regret    052

    HAYDENThe call came out of nowhere.I was halfway through lacing my skates for morning practice when my phone buzzed on the bench. I almost ignored it. I'm usually good at tuning out distractions before I hit the ice, but the name flashing across the screen made me freeze.It was my mom.I hadn’t heard from her since… well, since before camp. And now, weeks later, she was calling me? I hesitated, staring at the screen like it might explode. Jason, who was sitting two lockers down, noticed.“You gonna get that?” he asked, leaning back with that lazy grin. “Or do you need me to tell your mom you’re too cool to talk?”I shot him a glare but answered anyway, pressing the phone to my ear. “Hey, Mom.”“Hayden,” her voice was smooth and polite, like we were strangers. “I just realized I never asked you about that hockey camp you went to. How did it go?”I blinked, surprised she even remembered. “It went great. Intense, but… worth it. I learned a lot.”“That’s good.” There was an awkward pau

  • The Hockey Star Regret    051

    COLEENThe morning after our date, I woke up smiling.Which was terrifying.Because I wasn’t the kind of girl who woke up smiling over a boy. I wasn’t the kind of girl who replayed conversations in her head while brushing her teeth, or who scrolled through her messages to see if maybe, just maybe, he’d texted “good morning” before I was even awake.But apparently, I was now.Mark noticed before I even finished pouring my cereal.“You’re chipper,” he said, lounging at the table in his sweatpants like someone who hadn’t seen daylight in days. “What happened to the girl who grumbles through breakfast like a grumpy cat?”“Nothing.” I shoved a spoonful of cereal into my mouth, trying to play it cool. “Just in a good mood.”“Uh-huh.” He tilted his head, studying me. “And does this good mood happen to be six-foot-two with great hair?”I choked on my cereal, coughing hard enough to make my eyes water. “Mark!”He grinned like a cat that got into the cream. “So, I guess I can assume from your m

  • The Hockey Star Regret    050

    HAYDENI finished my coffee and didn’t rush to stand. The café buzzed around me, steam and chatter and someone behind me rustling a newspaper like it was 1999. I pulled a napkin toward me and started scribbling stupid little plan ideas. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to make sure that we both explore every activity I could think of when we are both free.Coleen was a bit skittish in nature. I wasn’t expecting her to just change overnight. So it was up to me to be proactive, even though she already knew how I felt about her.I wanted her to feel special. I wanted to treat her like a queen so she’ll realize that she deserves to be doted on. Most importantly, I want to erase every memory of her shitty ex-boyfriend from her mind.He doesn’t deserve her. He never has. And now that I have her, I wasn’t going to mess it up.The bell above the door jangled, and an unmistakable voice floated past.“Well, if it isn’t Michaels.”I smiled despite myself because I already knew who it was, and

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