Days passed. Harper worked, and I drifted around the house, unfeeling and uncaring – until the nightly terrors struck, and my body shook with fear and sobs. I did not feel the pain of my hand, or the stitches in my neck, but as soon as darkness fell the pit in my stomach grew, morphing along with the faces in the shadows until my throat closed around my screams.
I relieved the same day over and over. I ran the fingers of my right hand down the banister, along the back of the sofa, across the tatty Christmas table cloth Harper had put in the kitchen. I tried to force myself back into my old life, to make my new self fit with a past that no longer existed. Needless to say, it didn’t work.
I did not eat, save for the meals that Harper cooked for me. It took too much concentration, and I could not be distracted for even a moment. Anyone could strike, when I was home alone like this. I had been saved by my team, and by Cyrus, too many
There was a timid knock on the half-open bedroom door. My eyes were open, and fixed on the window, but before I could turn fully Harper had stuck his head through the gap.“Oh – sorry.” He bit his lip, and averted his gaze. “I didn’t think you’d still be in bed.”And why would he? Until now, I had been an early riser – up before him even on my days off, heading out and citing some nonsense excuse to hide my hunting. The view before him today was very different indeed.The sheets were sweaty, pooled around my knees and kicked away to free my boiling torso. My body was fixed, my joints locked, like a dog with its hackles raised. I couldn’t see my face, but I could picture it, undoubtedly the same as it had looked every morning since I’d returned here: drawn and exhausted, pale beneath the brown of my complexion, dull eyes, dull hair, dull skin. White bandage taped
As the darkness crept into the room, the last burnished rays of daylight slipping away, so too did the demons lurking in my mind step forth. I worked my fingers, bones groaning, my body frozen and stiff in my thin clothes. I’d dozed intermittently throughout the day, holding my form in the same curled, uncomfortable position. My neck ached; tentatively, I rolled it, a sharp crack and a lash of pain unfurling with the movement.I sat upright, sending bullets rolling across the uneven floor. I stared with blank eyes at the weapons, feeling their phantom grip in my right hand. My left itched, but it was easy to ignore. I could hardly feel anything, now.Until my gaze drifted to the door. It had been open before, cracked wide enough to see where my exit lay – and to see any enemies approaching. But it was sealed shut, and as the dusk cast the room in shadow its edges paled and faded, until it was indistinguishable from the wall aroun
The next morning, I awoke to the door still shut. It evoked nothing in me: no pain, no fear. I tidied away the weapons, packing them into a bag and tucking them back into the wardrobe. I didn’t want Harper to see them – or to see me.I dressed quickly, spraying deodorant over the layer of sweat that coated my skin. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and was outside as dawn broke across the horizon.I was a fighter. I had found that in myself again. It was enough to keep the tears at bay as the cold morning wind lashed at my cheeks, and just enough to hold back the fear as I raced along the streets, the last vestiges of the night lurking at the edges of my vision.My throat burned as I breathed, sore and swollen from sobbing. The stitches in my neck tugged with every movement I made, tugging and tugging until mild discomfort became pain, and I crumpled into myself on the side of the pavement, finally allowing th
The duvet pooled around my waist. The racing of my blood roared in my ears, an ocean pulling back, reaching higher and higher, preparing to crash –I slipped from the bed, staring wide-eyed out into the darkness. I waited for something, anything, another tap, a pasty white hand reaching for the slice of open air between the frame and the glass. Nothing came.I stepped closer. I hardly felt the bite of cold air against my skin, hairs raising on my arms and thighs. The wind wound around me, a playful cat teasing its way between my shins and calves. I swallowed hard, my throat bobbing, and forced my eyes to look beyond the familiar pile of books stacked on the windowsill, the green light of the digital clock that I’d moved there to help keep the night at bay, the old rum bottle that Harper had kept from his first night at university. I looked past it all, yet still I saw nothing.I reached the windowsill. With n
I stayed silent, watching the tremors flickering across his face, waiting for him to speak. He swallowed hard, eyes tracing the stark white bandage around my neck, fingers tracing the bump of the cast around my left hand.“But I need to apologise first,” he murmured. “I… it was wrong to leave you there, alone, without a proper explanation.”I shook my head. “No – no. You owe me nothing, Cy. I’m the one at fault here. I broke my promise,” I whispered, my voice leaving me. I ducked my head, too ashamed to meet his gaze. In the low light they glittered, dark as polished onyx, the bright blue at their centre utterly obscured as the night drew in outside.“That wasn’t your fault,” he said roughly. “I know that, now.”I didn’t reply. I had nothing more to say. He squeezed my right hand and sighed. Something in
We lay entwined together atop the duvet for an eternity, re-learning one another, touching and kissing and exploring. Once, the darkness swelling around our bodies would have terrified me. Tonight, I felt at home amongst it, lost in the shadows. I was as much a part of it as it was of me.The mask started to slip, until I was bared before him. We broke apart, chests heaving, as I fought with the agony searing my heart. It ached to burst free, and even Cyrus’s kisses could not keep it at bay forever.He ran a gentle fingertip along my jutting collarbone.“You were going to tell me something,” I murmured, desperate for another distraction. I didn’t want to fall into the chasm within myself again, not in front of him, not so soon after he’d returned to me. I did not deserve his affection, but I did not want him to leave, either. Torn in two, the only resolution I could see lay with him.
“I’m your… mate?” I repeated slowly, quietly, tasting the words on my tongue. He smiled, joy limning his handsome features. I wondered if he felt the same swell of heat that I did, buried somewhere deep inside his chest, at the sound of it, too.“Yes.” He tangled his fingers with mine. I rested my weight against him, sinking into his warmth.I smiled teasingly up at him. “I’m going to need a little more information than that.”He rolled his eyes, but his soft smile turned to a wicked grin. “Why, so you can relay it to the other hunters?”That stung, but I managed to hide the bite of pain that accompanied his taunt. Even so, his face fell.“Callie – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”“It’s fine.” And it was. He pressed a kiss to my t
As the first light of dawn shuddered across the navy sky, Cyrus and I strolled arm-in-arm down the winding path towards the sea. Silence filled the space between us, but it was easy, contemplative. I had no doubt that we were both processing the same thing, and the comforting pressure of his body pressing against mine was enough to soothe me as I turned over this new revelation in my head.We dipped further down towards the coast, the pathway gradually evening out and curving along the cliff’s edge. I probed at the thing in my chest curiously, and felt an answering nudge back. I gaped at Cyrus, and he chuckled softly before squeezing my hand.“That’s going to take some getting used to,” I said on a heavy exhale. “But – if it’s been there all along, then why didn’t I feel it to begin with?”“It develops over time. The stronger our bond became, the more it grew.&r