LOGINRYDERPractice goes terribly.Everyone's looking at me like I've suddenly grown two heads or something. The silence in the rink has never been louder and I have to admit that I do feel shitty about all this.I've disappointed them after a period of experiencing so many highs that I forgot what lows were like."Could be better," Coach comments from the other side of the rink. "Could be way better, Drexel. You're forgetting what day it is today?"The truth is that I almost did. I almost want to yell back that his niece is the reason why I'm in this state, but in reality, it's far more disturbing than that.I haven't had a chance to talk to the guys yet. I need to find out exactly what the fuck happened. Exactly what happened. They were there with me so they have to know, right?Someone had to have seen what happened Friday night that's making Aria treat me like I'm the biggest scumbag on the planet.The fact that I can't remember anything makes me extremely worried. It could be anything
ARIAI'm not paying attention to History at all, even when Professor Denver calls my name loudly and tells me to.I just can't find it in me to care.The rest of the day goes by like this. By the time my last lesson rolls around, I don't even bother pulling out my notebook. I thought I would feel angrier, thus more in control of myself, when I saw him, but it has demoralized me completely because my wolf still calls to him in ways I can't understand.He betrayed me. Took me for an idiot.Why, oh why, can't I find it in me to hate him as much as I should?I immediately blame our bond for this, which is why I wanted to reject him. But he didn't give me a chance to do it and I didn't try again.I should've, but I didn't.Instead, I let him walk away.I don't know when I'll have another chance to make it happen when I'm genuinely terrified of being close to him. I'm so afraid of falling for his lies again that I'm willing to do whatever is possible to stay away from him.I don't even know
RYDERI'm standing by the entrance of the main hall, just waiting for Aria.Where is she? What happened to her over the weekend? I've been trying to call her nonstop, and she just doesn't pick up. Then, her phone was off, and it made me even more worried.I was so close to going to her uncle's to find out how she was, but I managed to control myself.If I don't see her today, I won't care about any of that. I'll walk right up to him and ask him how she is, or where she is. I have this bad feeling in my chest. It's like there's a hole in my heart or something.I felt it on Saturday and the feeling hasn't left me since.Another thing that hasn't abandoned me is the damned headache. Fuck, I don't remember Friday at all. I remember heading inside the bar with the team, and then it all went black. I woke up on Saturday in my dorm room. Somehow, I managed to get there without remembering.How much did I drink? The guys were laughing at me when I woke up, telling me I was a beast and that th
ARIAI don't know how I make it to the exit of the bar but somehow, I do.I don't see Tyler or anyone else. I'm not even aware of the fact that I'm pushing people out of the way. I just run.When I make it outside, I run my fingers through my hair and breathe deeply. The scene keeps replaying right before my eyes and it makes me sick to my stomach. I want to vomit. The urge is so strong that I double over and my eyes get watery, but nothing comes out.After what feels like an eternity, I stand upright and look around. I should tell Tyler that I want to go home or something. I should look for him. But right now, I don't feel like doing it.I think I should explain it better: I can't do it.I can't make my way inside Hugo's to find Tyler. I just start walking down the sidewalk, heading home. My heart has turned to pulp in my chest, and every step I take feels like my last one.My head is spinning so fast that it makes me dizzy. I wish I could erase that memory and start over. I don't kn
ARIAI find myself in Hugo's, the new place opening, on Friday night.I didn't get a chance to tell Ryder. Tyler said it's a place where the high-ranking members of the pack don't want to come, so I'm more relaxed, and I'm not too worried that Ryder will find out.Maybe this is a terrible idea, but I didn't find it in me to tell him.It's not that I'll be doing anything bad anyway. Tyler is nice. Besides, I do get tired of staying indoors all the time. I wanted to cancel, then decided against it.I mean, would it be fair for Ryder to keep me from having friends when he's engaged to someone else and occasionally even takes her to dinner? It's not that I'm doing this out of pettiness. I don't want to hurt him or cause a fight.I just want to have some fun."Nice place, huh?" he comments before we head inside. "I like the sign."The whole theme of the place is red and black, and when we head inside, I'm surprised by how loud the music is, and how the lights are all red. It's so hard to s
RYDERAfter practice, we sit around as a team in the locker room for the first time in ages and just...talk.I have to admit that after this whole situation with Aria, I've distanced myself from my friends. I know that my relationship with Aria isn't something they'd welcome with open arms, so to me, we have nothing in common anymore.Every time I look at them, I see the old me and I feel ashamed of myself. Where was all the superiority coming from? Why did I think I was better than anyone else?What makes them think they're better?These are the things I've been thinking about that put this drift between us. But right now, practice went great and the conversation's light.Zach squeezes my shoulders before saying, "If we keep this up, we'll be the best ice hockey team in the whole region!""Region? How about the whole world!"I chuckle at this as I tie my shoelaces. "That's a serious exaggeration.""No way!" Zach claims. "I've never seen anyone play the way you do! It's something out







