~A Painful Crush~

[Valerie] 

“Yes, I have eaten. No, it’s not a takeaway.” I stabbed the tofu with more force than necessary, the food crumbling slightly. “Viola and Xyan? They haven’t arrived….How will I know?” I shoved the spoon in my mouth. 

“....Yeah. Love you too, mom.” I ended the call and placed the phone on the dining table. I was not expecting much, but still…I concentrated on the food on my plate. However, when I tasted the salt drops, I realized I was crying. I sniffled as I continued eating. My parents could have spared some time for me today, couldn’t they? Even my siblings had no time for me now. 

It was not like I wouldn’t see them. After all, Crescentville was a place I was familiar with since my childhood. But still…I would be away and….and wouldn’t they miss me? I swallowed the piece of garlic bread without chewing. It wasn’t always like this….was it? I wondered where everything went wrong? Why did everyone or when did everyone become so busy? Was it when Xyan began to help him and Viola left Ravenwood? 

My phone vibrated, bringing me out of my train of thoughts. It was Jade, my great-aunt. “Hey,” I greeted, hoping that my voice sounded normal and not like someone who had been silently crying a few seconds ago. “Hey, pup,” her usual chirpy tone came through the other end. I rolled my eyes, but a smile settled on my lips. “Not a pup anymore.”

“You’ll always be my little pup. Now, before I forget why I called. Can you head downstairs quickly and come to Rosamond Hall? Ava needs some help there. Something regarding the management. And since I knew that you would be the only one in the Castle, I thought, why not ask you.” I deflated slightly. I thought she was calling to say goodbye since she stayed in some God damn forest…not for work. 

“Alright.” I didn’t let the disappointment bloom in my voice. I ended the call and picked up the plates. Dumping them in the sink, I left for the Hall. 

~~~~~

During this time of the day, the Castle felt eerie, like someone was keeping an eye over me. However, I have gotten used to this stillness. It is hauntingly beautiful, and this silence helps me to think as well. At this point, I could hear my own footsteps. However, today, when I entered the Hall, I felt a shiver run down my spine. 

“Aunt Ava?” I called. The hall basked in the milky white fluorescent lights, their harsh glares softened by the smoky glass. I looked around and found no one, Strange. Jade said…

And then out of nowhere, well, this shouldn’t be surprising, but still, out of nowhere, I heard poppers and then the whole Hall was suddenly decorated. Jade lifted her enchantment and my jaw grazed the floor when I saw my whole family gathered here. 

“Wha-?” I didn’t get time to react as my cousin, Irene, came bounding towards me, and hugged me. “You stupid fool, did you think we would let you leave just like that?” I snapped my mouth shut, feeling my throat clogged with unnecessary emotions. 

~~~~~~

“Now who will have my back when I return home late?” Xyan groused, effectively putting an end to my alone time. I didn’t even bother to turn as I continued to look outside, the stillness somehow unnerved me. 

When he came to stand beside me, I nudged him playfully. “Like you care.” Mom and dad were quite lenient with us, unlike our aunt and uncle who kept a firm hand on Irene and Luke. But we turned out good and rarely got into trouble. Xyan passed me a can of soda. “Here you go, Miss. I-can’t -handle-alcohol.” I snatched the can from him but didn’t do so without shooting a glare. 

“Now tell me, why are you being a Maudlin and standing in the corridor instead of enjoying the party that has been kept in your honour?” I sighed because, of course, Xyan would notice. He always did. 

“Is it because of that lanky best friend of yours?” he added, taking a sip from his glass of champagne. I leaned against the ancient pillar, and said, “You know me too well and Kenneth isn’t lanky in any way.” 

“Well, he is not now, but that is not the hot topic here. The topic here is, since you are leaving Ravenwood to forget your crush or first love, or whatever, why not try to do that from now on, from this very night?” I gave my brother a sidelong glance. He was too observant for his own good. 

“Shut up, will you? And why don’t you speak louder so that the whole campus will come to know about my crush?” I muttered. “And I’m not going to Crescentville because of him.” He raised an eyebrow, calling me out on my bullshit. “Well, he is not the only reason,” I bit out. 

“Elias has finally agreed to teach me and I am not wasting that opportunity,” I added. Xyan remained silent for a moment, then said, “Viola will be happy to see you.” 

I did not comment on that part and Xyan knew me well enough to not prod. I took a sip from the can, the sugary and fizzy liquid burned my tongue. Viola had never really been the ideal sister that one might see on TV or read in a book. She was….aloof and ambitious. Even though she and Xyan are fraternal twins and there’s a six years of an age gap between them and me, I always felt closer to Xyan than Viola. 

While Xyan and I had a normal relationship as expected of siblings, Viola’s relationship with me had soured when she began to belittle me and my lack of ability to turn into a wolf or control elements properly. 

I had been surprised when I had felt relief at her departure to Auroville in order to join higher training to become a better, stronger mage. She rarely visited Ravenwood. However, now I would be seeing her almost every day because she was also training under Elias and since he would be staying at Crescentville for the time being, she would also be there. At least my maternal grandparents will be there and Maia, uncle Drake and Grey's daughter. 

“Val,” Kenneth’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. 

“Guess it’s my cue to leave,” Xyan piped in. I shot him a pointed look, but he had already turned on his heels and was walking back inside, probably to annoy his mate, Georgia. 

“Hey,” I waved, feeling slightly nervous and then feeling stupid about it. Kenneth’s sombre look did not change. He came to stand in front of him, leaning against the other pillar. I turned my gaze to the bleak night and continued sipping the soda which had now lost its fizz and tasted nothing more than sugary syrup. 

“You are not leaving because of what happened all those years ago, are you?” I stiffened. The words were so softly spoken into the stillness of the night that I might have not even heard if I didn’t possess enhanced hearing. I snapped my gaze towards him and my heart clenched at the sadness in his eyes. 

I decided to be brave for once, to put up a front and not crumble under his honest and piercing gaze. I smiled and shook my head. “Really? You think I’m running away? If I had planned to do so after…all that, then wouldn’t I have avoided both of you? Wouldn’t I have gone away sooner?”  And it was a perfect explanation. However, he didn’t have to know all the tears and heartaches that my room witnessed in the quiet of the night or the fury that a few punching bags had to endure when I trained. No, he didn’t have to know that because it wasn’t his fault or Sarah’s. They were fated, and that was something I needed to accept. 

Kenneth stared at me for some time, and I almost had the urge to look away. His beta wolf didn’t like the way I was meeting his gaze, but this was not about power. This was about me trying to solidify my walls of lies. He let out a sigh. “Well, I am glad that this is the case.” His face finally broke into a grin, the smile that always made my heart skip a beat, but recently it was accompanied with guilt for betraying another friend. 

“Let’s go inside. Or Sarah will be mad.” He nodded and as I rejoined the party, I decided to enjoy the night to the fullest. 

~~~~

It was in the middle of the night or early next morning, but as I was dragging myself to my room after the party ended, I heard mom saying in a hushed tone, “Xavier, I am going with her to Crescentville.” I halted in my tracks. 

“No, honey, try to understand. If you go with her, she will feel pressured. She will suspect that something is up. You know how observant she is,” dad said complacently.

“But what about-” 

“No, we are not talking about that. Not now. Later, we will figure this out.” When the silence lengthened after that, I managed to tiptoe my way and close the door of my room as silently as possible. 

What the hell were they saying? About me? Why was mom so concerned? She had always been concerned ever since I turned 16,  but I had always thought it was just what moms did. But this… this had just heightened my doubts and suspicions. 

I plopped down on the bed and lay down, but I knew that I wouldn’t get a wink of sleep because the questions would keep me up.