LOGINIan's pov
Back to school, it's been 3 months since the Christmas break. And in those 3 months i tried my best to stop myself from doing something. Although I know that Michael and Pauleen have ended but still should respect them.
In those months I kept myself busy, I did everything that I could just to forget that day, the day that I felt something about Pauleen. The day that i should have never approached her.
It was foundation month, it's a whole month's event at our school where they gathered all the students to celebrate the anniversary of the Metro Vale Academy. And this year. It is their 50th Anniversary. Everyone is busy doing their things.
All of the students have gathered at the field, some of them are just chilling, walking with their partners in this scorching heat and some of them are doing their practices.
Yes, practice for the main event of the Foundation Month. The festival dance. It’s where each strand have their representatives and they will dance a respective festival dance given to them.
It is one of the main highlights for this year's event.
While walking I noticed Michael, he was just standing on stage in front of the hot sizzling field. And there it is he was watching a dance troupe having their practice.
Yes, each dance troupe or representative per strand are practicing in the field, in this hot field. Everyone was wearing a long sleeve and a cap just to hide from the heat.
“Hey Michael, where are our classmates?” I asked him and he pointed to one specific spot on the field. That one dance troupe and there they were, Jas, Pauleen and Lei.
Our classmates, they are one of the representatives of our strand which is STEM.
At first I can't really seem to find them at the field because there are so many students who are practicing at the field. No matter how hard he pointed it out, I can't seem to find them.
Until he said “There, in the middle of the field. The one that's wearing jeans.” And there it is she's the one wearing jeans. And it takes me a second and their dance practice is over. And that very last minute, there she is, Pauleen. I saw her.
And it was like a love at first sight even though I have known her for almost a year, it’s like the world slows down and everything around us just stops.
It’s like me and her were the only people in the world, it went quiet, everything's gone quiet and the world went quiet. And at that point, I can tell that I'm in love.
I'm in love with her.
I'm damn in love with Pauleen Santos. The girl who asked if the room was a section of grapes, the girl who has a soft voice while introducing herself, the girl who has beautiful eyes and a smile.
But then I remember that the girl I fell in love, is the girl that my friend's used to loved.
So, I go on to tell myself that maybe I was just infatuated with her, that it will last long. Maybe i was just distracted by the fact that she is beautiful, beautiful even when she dance.
Maybe I was just confused by how I feel, maybe I was just idolizing her because of her talent. Or maybe not?
“Ian, what are you even thinking she is your friend's past? The girl that she used to like and you can't like her.” I keep on telling myself those words that she's my friend's past.
And a voice interrupted my thoughts, “Hey, you okay? They're done, let's go?” Michael said, calling me while preparing his things before he went down.
“Yeah, yeah, uhm I'm okay. Where are we going though?” “Back at our classroom, it's hot. Do you wanna stay here?” he said and i just shook my head as a no.
While walking back to our classroom, I can't seem to forget about her. Pauleen.
The way she looked, the way she dances, the way she walks and even the way wipes her sweats from the heat.
I kept on thinking about it, until the bell rang. It was time to go home, am i really so occupied with her that i couldn't even focus.
“Hey, Ian. You okay? Do you have a problem, why are you so quiet?” “Huh? Uh no, I'm good. I'm just tired, you know.” I said "Are you sure? You look like you are out of this place."
Do i look like that? "Yeah, don't worry, I'm good, very good." I said with a little laugh.
But in reality no, I'm not okay. And I think that I will never be okay and do i really look liked someone who was out of this place? I mean who wouldn't be, if someone's gir ks occupying your mind all day.
I should keep my distance, its not good that I keep thinking about Pauleen. She's occupying my mind so much that I couldn't even focus.
But i guess this is really the feeling, the feeling of love where it really hits you no one can stop you, no one can make you stop. No one can.
Love? What is love, for real? Is it just the feeling of me admiring her while doing her things?
Or is it me looking at her with a smile on face? I don't know.
One thing is for sure, I don't know. I don't know how to define love.
But one thing is for sure, is that I am in love. I am in love with Pauleen. No matter how hard I think about it. It keeps on repeating and repeating.
The moment where everything just stops, where I felt like it was only me and her.
But would that be worth it? Would I be able to do that? Would I be able to bring myself to tell her that I am in love with her?
Would it be worth the risk?
Ian’s POV I never meant to fall for you. It just happened slowly, quietly, until your presence became something my heart started looking for.That was the feeling that I've been feeling. After that confession I felt like I fell even more. Hearing those words that came out from her mouth made me think that sometimes I shouldn't have to think about what the other people will say. That sometimes it is not bad to choose my own happiness. Even though there is still that scary feeling, I know that I will not be alone through this journey. Because, I finally have someone now with me. Ringg.. ring…. “Hey, good morning..” It was the voice that I have been waiting to hear. “Hi, good morning. Did you just wake up?” “Yes, I think I was too tired from yesterday.. how about you?” “I woke up kinda early today.. Pauleen, can you try to, you know, shout at me? or at least slap me?” “Huh? What do you mean? Why would I do that?” Pauleen said with a little laugh. “I just can't believe that you
Ian's POVThey are secrets that were meant to be buried but destiny had other plans for us. I was still thinking about what happened yesterday. I still couldn't believe what happened, i thought that once the truth came out it would be over. I thought that nothing meant to happen once I told her. But I guess you'll never know what destiny will give you. I didn't expect that there could be a chance, there could be something. Yesterday was full of revelation, I didn't expect that there could be something more, more than I see outside. There could be a story that no one knows about. Flashback “Pauleen…” "If there is, would you risk it?” “Pauleen.. don't do this to me please..” “Ian, if there is, would you risk it?” “Of course I will, but.. what about them? I don't wanna hurt other people for my own happiness.” “Who could you be hurting, Ian? Michael? Me? Who could you be hurting more than yourself? You only think about other people, but what about you?”“What about me? I am fin
Ian’s POV Are there any words that could be used in saying those unsaid feelings? Is there any way for me to let go of all of this alone? Is there any simple way for me to tell her how I feel without hurting anyone? Without thinking of other people’s feelings. I hope there is so that I won't have a hard time and a second thought for me to tell her everything. How I feel about her, when it started, how it started. Everything.Because i wanna tell her everything once and for all but i know that i can’t. I can’t risk anything and I don't want to risk anything without having assurance. Because what I have right now is just myself and nothing more. “Hillary? When is she coming?” I asked Hillary as she walked towards me. “She’s just gonna fix her things and she will come here. Are you okay?” “Yeah, I'm just really nervous right now. I think my heart is gonna pop out of my chest.” “Dude, did you know what you’re gonna say to her later? You can’t just stand there and look at her wi
Ian's POV Some secrets are just meant to be hidden. There are some secrets that are for other people's sake, but there are also some secrets that are dangerous. Too dangerous for them to know. It was just another day, another simple day yet I feel like something's gonna happen. I don't really know what it is, but I do feel it. Yesterday's shoot was cancelled, when we were just supposed to take a break for 5 minutes Pauleen suddenly called it off saying that she didn't feel well. That's why Hillary decided to cancel the shoot and continue it tomorrow. Flashback ““Hey, Pau. Can I talk to you for a second?" "Oh hey, yeah sure. I also wanted to talk to you.” "Oh really? Okay then, you may go ahead first.”"Uh, is it okay if we take a rest for today? I'm not been feeling well since this morning.” "Oh really? sure sure, no worries. I'll just tell them and you can go after that.”"Thanks, Hillary.” "Guys, attention! so, we'll just cancel our shoot today since Pauleen is not real
Ian’s POV 5 more minutes and we are gonna start the filming, yet I still don’t know how I am gonna apologize to Pauleen. I don’t even know how I am gonna start a conversation with her after what happened. I felt so guilty for what I did. Maybe Pauleen was cursing me out the moment I did, I know it is wrong and I won't even try to defend myself. I am gonna just apologize and admit that I was wrong. “Hey, Ian. Get ready, we will start the filming.” Lei said as she reminded me to get ready and I just nodded at her. It’s only been 3 days of our filming and I am sure making a mess right now. “Hey, Pau. Are you good, done with the prep?” I heard Lei ask Pauleen as I was about to leave. “Hi, yes. I’m just tired but I'm ready.” “Okay, just get onto your position at the bench.” Lei said as Pauleen nodded at her. Should I approach her now? But if I did, what would I tell her? “Ian, position. Stand by.” Hillary said as I walked towards the bench where Pauleen was sitting. “Hey.” I gr
Ian's POV They say that there is no secret that won't be revealed. A secret that would change everything, but sometimes there is a secret that won't change everything. Just like the little secret that I have. The secret that I would never want her to know because whatever happens nothing would change. “Hey, Ian." I heard someone call my name and when I looked at it, it was Hillary. “Oh hey." “What happened to you yesterday?" "Oh yeah, about that. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to walk away just like that yesterday.” "Then why? And also why did you have to be mean to Pauleen. She didn't do anything wrong." Yeah, why did I even do that? I don't know. I was too focused on forgetting my feelings for her that I didn't even notice I was hurting her.“Yeah, I know. I am guilty for that one, I just really need to do that for my own sake. Sorry. If you want to change the Male lead, it's okay.” Hillary looked at me and tapped my shoulder that made me look at her.“No, why would we d







