LOGINThree years ago I erased my identity without telling anyone and left Harbor City. I ran into Stella Shaw at St. Auden's. She'd brought her foster brother to the evening service. I was there to light a candle for my mother. Stepping over the threshold, I tripped. She caught me fast, and there was irritation in her voice. "Do you not watch where you're walking?" She didn't recognize me. Leo, at her side, smiled. "Sorry about that. My sister just worries about me. She thought you might knock into me. "There's a service this evening. Are you here for it too?" I paused, and found myself glancing at Stella, whose lips were pressed into a line. "It's the anniversary of my mother's death. I came to light a candle for her. "There's an old injury in my leg. I lost my footing for a second. Sorry." Leo looked at my bad leg and shook his head, sorry for me. "Poor guy." My chest seized. I pulled the mask tighter over my face without thinking and walked away fast. Three years ago, at a banquet, I was drugged and lost consciousness, and woke up lying next to a homeless man. Overnight my photos were on every screen in the country, and I was the degenerate the whole city lined up to condemn. And the drink that put me under, Stella had handed me herself.
View More"Noah!"One look was all it took. She knew my eyes.Hers went red at once, and my name came out of her shaking.Everything in me locked up. I stood there a moment, and then I took off the mask anyway."Ms. Shaw. It's been a long time."She came toward me a step at a time and stopped in front of me, staring, not blinking.As if she thought I'd be gone the moment she did."Noah. You came back."Her voice cracked and she put out a hand to hold me.I stepped back out of reach."Please don't, Ms. Shaw."I said it evenly. There wasn't any of the old thing in me. None of the ache you're supposed to feel.She looked at me for a long time, until it started to wear on me."Noah. Have these years been good to you?"I gave her a smile that meant nothing, because I didn't want to answer her."I have somewhere to be."I turned to go, and she came after me and put herself in front of me."Noah. What you said just now. Is it true?"I stopped. "What?"I was frowning by then.Her eye
After Lucas lifted me out of the Shaw villa by helicopter, the blood loss caught up with me and I went under before we landed.The whole way I could hear him beside me, choking on it, blaming himself.He kept telling me not to sleep. He kept saying he was sorry, that he'd come too late.I wanted to tell him it was all right, and my body was too heavy to move. There was something packed into my throat and nothing would come out of it.At some point I lost consciousness altogether.When I woke I was in a warm room done in blue, and there was a family portrait on the wall. The four of us. Dad. Mom. Lucas. Me.My eyes stung at once. I saw a man across the room with his head down in paperwork, and got my mouth open."Lucas. Lucas."My voice was nothing. All rasp.His head came up, and the second our eyes met his went red too."Noah. You're awake."He dropped the file and crossed the room in a few strides."Hey," I said. "It's been a while."Our parents divorced when I was ten.
Noah Lane had disappeared.Stella turned Harbor City upside down and didn't find him.She sat in her office day after day while staff came in with reports and went out again.She barely heard any of it. All she could hear was the last thing he'd said to her.Leo came in one afternoon in tears, wrecked with guilt."Stella, I had someone take him to the hospital that day. He walked out on his own. I don't know where he went."He cried himself breathless, and then dropped to his knees and started slapping himself across the face."It's my fault. All of it. If I'd gone with him and looked after him and apologized, he'd never have walked out like that."Any other time that small broken voice would have had her holding him and talking him down.This time she sat like something carved, staring at the watch in her hand, as though the soul had gone out of her.Leo waited, and when nothing came he wiped at tears that weren't there and got up."Stella..."Then he threw himself into he
The next day was the Golden Light Awards.Stella went with Leo on her arm, both of them turned out for the cameras.He took the first Best Actor trophy of his life.The room came apart with applause, and he floated through the congratulations.She let him hold onto her arm while they worked the room, glass to glass, building him a network.And the whole time something uneasy sat under her ribs and wouldn't move.She made an excuse about the restroom, walked out of the ballroom, and called the family doctor."How is Noah? How bad are his injuries?"Dr. Halloran sounded lost."Ms. Shaw, I'm sorry, what? What's happened to Mr. Lane?"Something dropped through her. Her knuckles went white around the phone."I told you to go and treat him.""Nobody told us anything, Ms. Shaw."The panic came up fast. She hung up, got into the car waiting out front, and drove herself home.The villa was empty except for the small sounds of staff moving around.She caught one of them by the arm












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