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Consequences For My Decision

Penulis: Joyce dera
last update Tanggal publikasi: 2026-06-05 17:11:42

ZELDA’s POV

“It says here you are six weeks gone,” the doctor said, eyes still on his screen.

I was on my feet before he finished the sentence.

Another wave of dizziness rolled in. This time I didn’t faint, even though I wished for it.

“That’s not possible,” I said.

“We can have the lab run another—” I didn’t let him finish. I was already out of his office.

You are six weeks pregnant. You are six weeks pregnant. The words kept ringing in my ears as I staggered towards the hospital entrance.

My phone vibrated and pulled me back. It was Aunt Mara. I cleared my throat and answered, forcing steadiness into my voice. It took a while to convince her it was just migraines.

I didn’t go straight home. I sat outside for a while, trying to process what I had just heard, turning it over and over in my head and refusing to believe it. Then I went to the store, swept every test strip off the shelf, and headed home.

I followed the instructions and waited, my heart hammering, the fear of the truth closing in on me fast. When I pulled them out, I sank to my knees. All six were positive. A very strong red cross staring back at me on every single one.

I was really pregnant.

Mia found me on the floor outside my bathroom sobbing. I had sent her a distress message a few minutes before.

“Oh Zee, come on. Stop crying.” She helped me to my feet.

“It’s their loss, not yours, and guess what, there’s an open space at my company,” she said it with so much excitement but I pulled out the test strips and handed them to her.

The smile vanished from her face immediately. “How? Are you… is this…” She paused between each word like she couldn’t get her brain to catch up.

“I’m six weeks pregnant, Mia.” The words sounded so unreal even as they left my mouth.

Mia stared at me and I stared back. Neither of us spoke.

Six weeks. Six weeks ago I had been losing sleep over rent, and now there was a life growing inside me.

My knees gave way and I sank to the floor again. My hand moved to my belly, rubbing it slowly. My baby. This should have made me happy. Instead all I could feel was fear.

“Mia, I don’t know what to do. I’m broke and jobless. I couldn’t shake the feeling that a pregnancy would shut every door still open to me. For all I know this man might be married. I had a tough childhood. I don’t want that for my child.”

Days passed, and things didn’t get easier, they got worse. My hormones made every single day miserable. I applied for jobs but the ones available weren’t something a pregnant woman could reasonably take on.

I even went back to the club twice, hoping to cross paths with him, or that someone might recognize him. Nobody did.

I even gave a familiar bartender Vance’s description. Tall, dark hair, grey eyes. He frowned briefly before saying, “Sorry Ma’am, doesn’t ring a bell.”

By my third visit, I was starting to wonder whether Vance was even his real name.

“Classic married man, Mia. He covered his tracks. I’m so stupid.” I pressed my face into my palms.

“Shh. Don’t say that. Mistakes happen and we will get through this together.” She rubbed my back.

But I knew my life would never be the same.

One morning I was sitting on the bed, phone in hand scrolling through another string of rejections, when Mia walked in with a cup of coffee. She had basically moved in since that day.

“Your favorite coffee incoming.” She singsonged it.

I looked up from the screen. “I’m aborting the pregnancy.”

She froze. The cup tilted and coffee splashed across the floor.

“You’re what?” she asked.

“I—” I started to repeat it but she held up a hand.

“Whoa. Are you sure, Zee? I know how much you love children. I already said I could take out a loan and we could manage until you sort things out.” She sat beside me, studying my face.

I smiled through the ache in my chest. “I know, Mia. But I can’t raise a child alone, and I can’t answer a single question about his father except that I gave that man my virginity and he left money on the table like it was a transaction. I have plans. I have things I want to build. I can’t let one night take all of that from me.” I said it firmly, even though it took me days to get to that place.

“Bestie.” She pulled me into a hug. “Whatever you choose, I’m with you on this.”

The next few days were filled with research. I found the best clinic, sat through appointment after appointment, and was finally given the pills.

As we were leaving the clinic, something caught my eye.

A man in a black hoodie.

My heart skipped a beat and my hand tightened around Mia’s. I turned for a second look to be sure.

“Are you okay?” Mia asked.

I forced a nod. “Yeah. I thought I saw someone.”

My gaze lingered behind us, searching the crowd, but there was nothing there. Maybe I was imagining things.

Back home I followed the instructions carefully. Took a warm bath, ate enough, then swallowed the pills. The clinic said they’d take effect in under six hours, so Mia and I settled on the couch to watch a show while we waited.

I kept checking the time, running through the list of expected symptoms in my head. Three hours passed and nothing happened.

We fell asleep waiting.

When I opened my eyes, I went straight to the bathroom. What I saw made me go completely still. The sanitary pad was clean. I checked it again. And again.

My fingers curled around the edge of the sink.

The pills hadn’t worked.

After everything, after all the guilt and the sleepless nights and the decision that carved something out of me to make, even this had been taken from me. I bit down hard on my lip, holding back the tears threatening to spill.

“Are you okay?” Mia appeared in the doorway. Her eyes dropped to the pad and she understood immediately.

“Maybe we didn’t time it right, or the meal was too heavy.” She offered it gently, and I knew she was only trying to soften it for me.

I spent the rest of the day reading through every forum thread I could find, looking for women who had experienced the same thing. There were a few, and it eased my mind enough to book another appointment.

Mia came with me. She held my hand all the way through. A scan was done first, and the fetus was fine. I was fine. The doctor explained calmly that some bodies respond differently and recommended a surgical procedure instead.

We left the consultation room with the next appointment letter folded in my hand, my thoughts loud and tangled.

“What if I’m meant to have this baby, Mia?” I said quietly.

She froze for a second, before she rubbed my hand softly. “Whatever you decide, Zee, you’re going to be a great mum. And me? I’ll be the favorite aunty.” We both laughed, and it was the first real laugh I had managed in days.

We were still smiling when we stepped out through the hospital entrance.

A black van suddenly came out of nowhere.

It shot towards us and we stumbled back. Then the doors swung open and masked men poured out, moving fast and cutting off every direction we had. We turned and ran back toward the hospital entrance, but before my fingers could reach the doorknob, something soft and thick was pressed over my nose and mouth.

“Mia!” I screamed into the fabric, but my voice came out muffled.

The darkness came fast. And then there was nothing.

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