Chapter 7 That Should Be Me

Moira's POV

Being alone in an apartment wasn't a good idea after everything that had severely broken my spirit over the past few days. That's how I felt today. The things I’d gone through at the office a few days ago left me lying motionless on my bed, staring up at the ceiling—so much that I unconsciously ignored Ziri, who had been talking to me for a while.

I had never been the type of woman who enjoyed spending nights with random men. I wasn't the kind of woman men coveted, so I spent every night alone.

Unlike Bella, who had always been idolized. Even back in college, everyone wanted to know what Bella looked like and what her place was in my family.

We were half-sisters, but we were clearly different in appearance.

My father had always favored her. Jude was no exception. The comments from the office staff reminded me of our college years. Everyone knew who Jude was, idolizing him for his striking looks, prowess, and intelligence. It was the same with Bella.

She was always the center of attention. Everyone talked about how well she matched Jude, just because of their meeting at the inauguration night—the same night I first slept with Jude, the night my father committed his crime and schemed to trap me in an unhappy marriage.

I had been happy with Jude, but with his constant coldness, I, ever naive, just ended up looking more foolish and realized it hurt so much.

Bella was my father's illegitimate child, yet she seemed more worthy of being the pack's heir than me. She was rich, captivating, loved by so many—even by all the pack members—without anyone considering her presence had brought pain to me and my mother, their Luna.

I hated remembering it, but the more I saw Jude and Bella, the more the pain I had endured for years grew, never fading.

If only I hadn't been drunk that night...

If only I had been more careful—had considered the realities of being my father's firstborn, who was unremarkable to most Alphas in the bigger packs—maybe my father would never have resorted to that dirty scheme.

If only... I wouldn't be in this situation now, and maybe the pack would have long forgotten me.

After my mother died, I'd been living with my uncle. You'd think that would have kept me from my father and made me cautious. But I admit, I was stupidly naive. Just as everyone admired Jude for all his virtues, so did I. The only difference was, I fell for him only after I realized I'd spent a night with him.

I admitted I regretted that mistake and would never be able to forget it.

On my wedding day with Jude, I was overjoyed. I thought that was the end of all my suffering, that I wouldn't face the same fate as my mother. I believed Jude would love me, that after our pup was born, we'd have a happy marriage, and I would be the cherished Luna. But no.

That wedding night, I was shattered when Jude said the word "mate." I thought he was speaking to me. Only after we were married did I understand.

He never touched me—until one night he came home drunk and had sex with me. Even at the climax, he whispered the word "mate" again. I was so foolish to think his indifference was just part of his nature.

When I realized his attitude was because he didn't want me, that Bella had always been on his mind from the start, that they'd probably been involved for a long time, I was paralyzed and lost myself. I never imagined things would end up like this.

It felt like even the Moon Goddess was on Bella's side. She never looked out for me and just let me suffer till it felt I would die from the pain.

My marriage was in ruins. There was nothing left to hope for, and I understood that Jude's love had never belonged to me.

I curled up, letting out the sobs and suffocating pain. It hurt. Jude must be with Bella right now, under the same blanket after sex. Even if I was not his mate, every time I imagined him with Bella, loving her the way every woman wishes for, it made me want to stab a knife in my chest. The pain was overwhelming—I didn't know what to do.

I'd lost everything. I had nothing. My mate belonged to another woman, and she'd even stolen our pup's heart. How was I supposed to heal this wound?

***

Finally, I went outside my apartment because Rhea, my best friend, had called me. She had asked if I could pick her up at the airport after her return from Greece. She was an artist. We shared similar tastes in art, and I admired her work. She also appreciated my designs.

We would exchange gifts on our birthdays—she would give me sketches or her paintings, and I would gift her handmade jewelry. She was the only person I had left since my mother died. Her long stay in Greece had left me feeling lonelier.

I waited at the arrival area, holding up a sign with her name. That's when I saw a familiar sight in the arrival gates.

Mirielle was there with Jude. I almost waved to her, but stopped when Bella appeared. Mirielle hugged her. Bella bent down so Mirielle could kiss her cheek.

My heart felt like it had been slammed hard. It hurt, but I just clenched my chest against the ache.

"Happy birthday, Aunt Bella!" Mirielle shouted, her voice faint but reaching me. Then she pulled out a moonstone necklace, and together, Jude and Mirielle fastened it around Bella's neck. Jude and Mirielle's eyes were fixed on Bella, admiring her beauty.

Bella was too beautiful, just as her name implied, and they looked just like one happy family.

No—it was wrong. I should be there. I should be the one Mirielle kissed, the one Jude huged and kisseed gently. But I had to let go of that, because this was my destiny, and that was Bella's. I would never be meant for the place among them. Again, imagining where they might go this time only made it harder to breathe.

Someone tapped my shoulder, jolting me back into the reality of the busy airport. I tore my gaze away from Jude to Rhea, who was looking at me with furrowed brows. She asked something, but I couldn't hear her over the noise and my chaotic thoughts.

Rhea turned and saw what I'd been watching. She rubbed my shoulder, and from her face, I was sure she understood exactly how I felt.

"You can get through this, Moira. I know you can. I'm back now. Let's go back to before Jude. We were happy kids who always supported each other," she said. I nodded and helped with her luggage. My gaze inadvertently fell back on Jude. They were still there—this time with one more person who seemed to be traveling with him.

Maybe it was a business trip to the Netherlands, as usual, but this time he brought them as Bella’s birthday present.

Brukk!

I cried out softly as I landed on the floor, my butt stinging. I checked my elbow, which I'd hit pretty hard, but found no serious injury, just a bit of pain. Where had Rhea gone?

I was about to get up and fetch Rhea's things when a hand reached out to help. In the other hand, he was holding Rhea's luggage I had been carrying.

I accepted the helping hand and looked up after I stood. There he was—a man I knew—standing before me, opening his mouth as though to say something, but waiting for the right moment. I didn't want to let him have the chance, so I left before he could say words I might not ever want to hear.