Chapter Eighteen - The Choice My Father Made

Aria’s POV

I didn’t stop running until I reached my room.

I slammed the door behind me so hard that the sound echoed through the corridor.

My hands were shaking, and my entire body was shaking.

I pressed my back against the door and sucked in a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm the storm inside me.

Tears blurred my vision.

I wiped them away angrily but more came.

“Damn you, Kael.” My voice broke.

I pushed away from the door and stormed toward my empty room. They were two pillows on the floor.

“Damn you!” I shrieked.

I grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it across the room. It hit the wall and dropped uselessly to the floor.

I didn’t care and I grabbed another one.

“And your stupid wolf!” I said with disgust.

That one went flying too. I paced across the room, running both hands through my hair.

How dare he? How dare he do that to me? How dare he put his hands on me after everything I had already endured?

My fingers instinctively moved toward my neck.

I froze.

The mark was still there, I could feel it.

It didn’t hurt anymore. The wound had healed almost instantly, just as every werewolf wound did after being inflicted by a mate.

But the mark remained. It was a permanent reminder of what Kael had done.

My eyes filled with tears again. “No.”

I quickly lowered my hand. I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t want to feel it, and I didn’t want to accept it.

I walked toward the mirror.

My reflection stared back at me. My hair was disheveled, my cheeks were wet, my eyes were red, and beneath my ear was a dark mark that hadn’t been there when I woke up that morning.

I stared at it in disbelief.

“He actually did it.” My voice trembled. “He has actually marked me.”

I touched it again. The moment my fingers brushed over the mark, the memory returned.

Kael’s eyes, his fangs, the strength of his hands around my wrists and my desperate pleas begging that he should let me go.

I closed my eyes as a sob escaped my lips.

I hated that I was crying, and I hated that I was allowing him to hurt me even after he was no longer in the room.

I wiped my cheeks roughly.

“I hate you.” My voice grew louder. “I hate you, Kael.”

I turned away from the mirror. It was one of the only property left in the room.

“I hate your stupid face.” I kicked one of the pillows lying on the floor.

“I hate your stupid voice.” Another tear rolled down my cheek. “I hate your stupid possessive wolf.”

I stopped pacing. “And I hate the fact that you think you can just do whatever you want because you’re Alpha.”

I sank onto the edge of the wall.

My shoulders trembled. “Arrogant bastard.”

I sniffed. “Controlling bastard.”

Another tear fell.

“Selfish…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

My anger suddenly collapsed beneath the weight of my pain. I covered my face with both hands.

What was I supposed to do now? I had returned to Ironcrest because it was my home.

Because my father was dead and I wanted to reclaim the place I had foolishly abandoned.

I had agreed to marry Kael because the elders had made it clear that it was my father’s final wish, but I had never agreed to this.

I had never agreed to be claimed, and never agreed to lose control over my own body.

And now there was nothing I could do about it. The mark was there permanently.

My stomach twisted. “What am I going to do?”

A soft knock sounded at the door.

I quickly wiped my face. “Go away.”

The door opened anyway.

I looked up and Martha stepped inside. She stopped immediately when she saw me.

Her eyes widened. “Aria?”

I turned my face away. “I’m fine.”

Martha closed the door behind her.“You are clearly not fine.”

“I said I’m fine.” I muttered.

She walked closer then her eyes moved to my neck.

She froze and for several seconds, she didn’t say anything.

I knew exactly what she had seen.

“The mark…” I looked away.

Martha’s face changed. “What happened?”

I laughed bitterly. “Your wonderful Alpha happened.”

She came closer. “Kael marked you?”

I didn’t answer, I didn’t need to. The tears filling my eyes gave her the answer.

Martha sat beside me. “Aria…”

“Don’t.” I shook my head. “Please don’t tell me it’s beautiful.”

She frowned. “I wasn’t going to.”

“Don’t tell me it’s meant to be or, tell me my father wanted this.”

“ I wasn’t going to.”Martha replied and went quiet.

I looked at her. “Because if you say that, I swear I’ll scream.”

She sighed. “All right.”

I looked down at my hands.

“He lost control.” My voice was barely audible. “His wolf took over.”

Martha listened silently.

“He pinned me against the wall.” My throat tightened. “I told him to let me go.”

Martha’s expression hardened. “And he didn’t?”

I shook my head. “No.”

She reached for my hand and I let her take it.

“He marked me.” A sob escaped my throat. “I didn’t want him to.”

Martha squeezed my fingers. “I know.”

“I begged him and I know he heard me.” My voice cracked. “He heard me begging him to stop, Martha.”

Her eyes became glossy. “But he still did it.”

I nodded. For a moment, neither of us spoke. Then Martha pulled me into her arms.

I broke. I cried against her shoulder like I hadn’t cried in years.

All the pain I had been carrying since I returned to Ironcrest came rushing out.

My father’s death, Damon’s betrayal, the humiliation, the loneliness, the guilt, the anger, and now this.

Martha held me tightly while I sobbed.

When I finally pulled away, I wiped my face. “I shouldn’t have come back.”

Martha frowned. “Don’t say that.”

“I should have stayed away.” I have a sly smile. “I wouldn’t have had to deal with Kael.”

“You would have remained with Damon.” Martha immediately softened. “I’m sorry.”

I looked down.

She was right. Even thinking about Damon made my chest hurt.

If I hadn’t returned, I would still be trapped in Crimson Snow.

Still cooking for him, still wondering where he was, still believing his lies, and still thinking he loved me.

I swallowed. “At least Damon never marked me.”

Martha stared at me. I knew immediately that I had said the wrong thing.

“Aria…” She shook her head sadly.

“I know.”I sighed. “I know what you’re going to say.”

“What?” My brows furrowed.

“That Damon didn’t mark me because he never intended to make me his.” I said with anger.

Martha nodded slowly. “Exactly.”

I looked away. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Then we won’t.” She nodded and silence settled between us.

After a moment, Martha spoke. “But we need to talk about something else.”

I already knew what she was going to say.

“The Luna position?” I groaned.

“Aria.” She tapped my shoulder softly.

“I don’t want it.” I wiped my tears.

“You can’t throw it away.” She looked at me like I had gone mad.

“Why not?” I frowned

“Because it belongs to you.” She explained.

I laughed bitterly. “No. It belongs to the woman who becomes Kael’s mate.”

“You are his mate now.”

My eyes snapped toward her.

“Don’t.”

Martha held my gaze. “The mark proves it.”

“I don’t care what it proves. Even if everyone else will.” I stood abruptly.“Then let them care!”

I began pacing again. “I didn’t come back here for Kael, I didn’t come back for a crown, I came back because my father was dead.”

Martha nodded. “And because this is your home.”

“Exactly.” I turned toward her. “So why should I stay?”

“Because you’re not only Lucien’s daughter.” Her words stopped me. “You are his heir.”

I frowned. “What?”

Martha stood. “You left this pack once, Aria. You abandoned your position, and you gave up everything because you believed Damon loved you.”

I flinched. “ I know.”

“But you came back.” She stepped closer. “Don’t make the mistake of leaving again.”

I stared at her. “You don’t understand.”

“I understand more than you think.”

“No.” I shook my head. “You don’t understand how humiliating this is.”

“I understand that Kael hurt you.” She said sadly.

“No. You don’t.” My voice trembled. “I was standing there telling him I didn’t want him. I told him I didn’t want children with him. I told him I didn’t want him sleeping beside me.”

I touched my neck. “And he still claimed me.”

Martha’s expression softened. “I know.”

“So how am I supposed to stand beside him and pretend everything is fine?”

“You don’t have to pretend.” She peered into my face.

I stared at her. “I don’t?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Being Luna doesn’t mean you have to wake up tomorrow and suddenly love Kael.”

I blinked. “It doesn’t?”

“No.” She smiled.

“You sound very certain.” I frowned.

“I am.” She smiled faintly. “Being Luna means you have responsibilities to this pack. It means you have a voice. It means you have influence.”

I folded my arms. “And what if I don’t want that influence?”

“Then you’re allowing your pain to make a decision that could affect your entire future.”

I didn’t respond.

Martha walked to the window. “Look at what happened to you when you left.”

I closed my eyes. “I know.”

“No, Aria.” She turned toward me. “I don’t think you do.”

Her voice became firmer. “You left Iron crest because you thought love outside these walls would make you happy.”

I swallowed.

“You gave up your position. You left your father. You trusted Damon.” She turned back to me. “And what did you receive?”

I looked away. “Nothing.”

“Exactly.” She came closer. “You lost everything for someone who wasn’t willing to give you anything in return.”

I sat down again.

Martha continued. “And now you’re ready to lose something else because you’re angry with Kael.”

“I’m not giving up anything.” I mumbled.

“You are.” She sat beside me. “You’re talking about refusing the Luna position.”

“I don’t want to be Luna because it ties me to him.” I said with disgust.

Martha was quiet for a moment then she said softly,

“Or perhaps it ties you to the place you were always meant to lead.”

I looked at her. “What are you saying?”

“Think about your father.” She snapped her fingers.

Martha’s voice softened. “Alpha Lucien knew you better than anyone.”

I lowered my eyes. “He knew my flaws too.”

“He did.” She smiled. “And he knew your stubbornness.”

Despite myself, I almost smiled.

“My father used to say I was impossible.”

“He was right.” She smiled

I laughed quietly. The first real laugh I’d managed since leaving Kael’s study.

Martha smiled. “See?”

“What?”

“You still smile when you think about him.” She beamed.

My smile disappeared.

Martha took my hand. “Your father wasn’t a foolish man. He was Alpha for decades, he protected this pack, and he made difficult decisions. Then ask yourself something.”

“What?” I raised a brow.

“Why would he want you to marry Kael?”

I looked away. “Because he wanted the royal bloodline preserved, because Kael is strong, and because he wanted Ironcrest to remain stable.”

“Yes.” Martha squeezed my hand.

“But perhaps there was more.”

I looked at her. “More?”

“Your father watched Kael grow up.”She paused. “He trusted him.”

I frowned. “Maybe because Kael was his Beta’s son.”

“Perhaps.” Martha shook her head.“But your father didn’t make decisions simply because someone was convenient.”

I remained silent.

“He could have chosen someone else, and he could have arranged a political marriage with another powerful Alpha.”

I hadn’t thought about that.

Martha continued. “But he chose Kael.”

I looked at the floor. “Maybe because he believed Kael would protect me.”

“Exactly.” She grinned.

My throat tightened.

Martha’s voice softened. “Perhaps your father saw something in Kael that you refused to see.”

I immediately shook my head. “Kael hates me.”

“Does he?” She inclined her head.“Then why didn’t he reject the marriage?”

“Because of the throne.” I rolled my eyes.

Martha raised an eyebrow.“Are you sure?”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

She smiled sadly. “You’ve spent so much time believing Kael only wanted power that you’ve never stopped to ask whether that was actually true.”

I remembered the way Kael had looked at me after I accused him of killing my father.

The pain, the fury, and the restraint.

I pushed the memory away. “He wanted the position.”

“Maybe.” Martha shrugged. “But perhaps he wanted something else too.”

“What?”

She looked directly into my eyes.“You.”

My heart skipped.

I immediately shook my head. “No.”

“Why not?” She laughed.

“Because…” I stopped because I didn’t know.

Martha smiled gently. “You don’t have to believe me but think about it.”

She stood. “Your father may have known exactly what he was doing.”

I looked up at her. “You really believe that?”

“I believe your father loved you.” Her eyes softened. “And I believe he wouldn’t have asked you to marry someone he thought would destroy you.”

My gaze dropped to my hands. “But Kael just…”

“I know.” Martha sighed. “What he did today was wrong.”

I looked at her. “You really mean that?”

“Of course.” She shook her head.“Being your Alpha doesn’t give him the right to ignore your boundaries.”

I felt some of the tension leave my body.

“But…” She held up a finger. “That doesn’t mean you should throw away your future.”

I frowned. “You want me to stay.”

“I want you to think.” She corrected me.

“About what?” I asked.

“About the positive side.” She laughed.

I almost laughed. “Positive?”

“Yes.” She sat beside me again. “Look around you.”

I glanced around my empty room.

“You’re home.” Her eyes softened.“You’re with the people who love you. You have your father’s legacy.”

She paused. “And you are about to become Luna.”

I sighed. “I don’t know if I want to.”

“You don’t have to decide tonight.” She smiled . “But don’t give it up tonight either.”

Her words stayed with me.

“Let yourself breathe.” She cautioned. “Let yourself be angry, you have every right.”

Then she touched my hand.

“But don’t allow one terrible moment to decide the rest of your life.”

I didn’t answer.

Martha stood.

“I’m going to leave you alone.” She walked toward the door.

Before she reached it, I called her.

“Martha.”

She turned. “Yes?”

I hesitated. “Do you think my father really knew what he was doing?”

She smiled sadly. “I think your father knew more than any of us.”

Then she opened the door. “And Aria?”

“Yes?” I gave a shy smile.

“Don’t punish yourself because he made a choice you didn’t understand.” She said and the door closed behind her.

I sat alone. For a long time, I didn’t move.

My eyes drifted toward the mirror.

The mark was still there and I hated what it represented.

I hated that Kael had taken a choice from me, but Martha’s words wouldn’t leave my mind.

“Your father knew more than any of us.”

I looked at my reflection. What had Alpha Lucien seen in Kael? Why had he trusted him? Why had he been so determined to see us together?

I remembered my father’s final conversations with me before I left.

His warnings, his disappointment, and the sadness in his eyes.

At the time, I had thought he was simply trying to control my life, now I wasn’t so sure.

Maybe he had seen something I couldn’t, maybe he had known Kael’s heart better than I did, or maybe Martha was simply trying to make me feel better.

I didn’t know and I wasn’t ready to forgive Kael.

Not tonight, and perhaps not tomorrow. But I wasn’t going to abandon my position either, not yet.

If being Luna meant protecting Ironcrest, then I would do that. If it meant standing beside Kael, I would stand.

But I would not surrender myself to him. Not emotionally, not willingly, and definitely not because the elders expected it.

I wiped the last tears from my cheeks then I looked at the mark again.

My fingers hovered over it.

“This doesn’t mean you own me, Kael.” My voice was quiet. “But it also doesn’t mean I’m going to run.”

I turned away from the mirror. For the first time since leaving his study, I felt something other than anger.

My father had left me a legacy. I had already abandoned it once and I wouldn’t do it again.

Whatever Kael wanted from me, whatever his wolf wanted, and whatever the elders expected, I would decide what happened to me from this point forward.

And if my father truly had a reason for choosing Kael, then I would find out what it was even if I hated the answer.